Do you know anyone who came around to liking Dubai despite being VERY reluctant at first?

This.

There was a very alarming thread on here a few months ago, from a mum who’d moved to Oz and was desperate to return but her DH wasn’t, and posters had to basically spell it out to her that there was a chance her children would never come back with her.

Don’t do it.

I’d agree with this, unless you have a career of your own that you wouldn’t be able to follow in Dubai. Resentments eat away at relationships.

Do you really want your very small children to spend their early years - five years is a massive chunk out of their childhood - in a place you instinctively hate (rightly so, imo)?

This would be a hard no for me. No amount of money would make it worth it.

So many people tar Dubai with the brush of what they see on holiday. I moved out here last year with my older kids - initially unconvinced about the place but with my husbands work. Yes you do get a lot of the money obsessed vacuous people, however there is SO much more to the place than all of that. There is so much to do, so many totally normal people (you always find your tribe) and so much to explore. I’ve come to love it as have the kids who are living their best lives as teens. Sure it’s an adjustment and the first few months were tough but every weekend is like a holiday and there are endless places to explore.

I also still love the U.K. and we’ll definitely come back at some point. Also I always say I wish I’d been here when the kids were little because there are endless things to do with little ones. Just a lot of those are indoors in the hotter months but then it’s like when it rains in the uk and you can’t go out. What I would say though is we won’t be here in the school summer holidays!

Dubai, no way. I grew up in Muscat, I’d do that again

I think that is important regardless of location. Being a trailing spouse can be lonely at the best of times where ever you choose abroad , despite being among a large expat community and potentially hiring “help”, and alienated from family , friends and UK life while trying to negotiate local social rules. Harder if your dh is away a lot.

It is a long time since we visited but a relative lived there as a single woman and carved out a lifestyle among similar expats as Dubai developed. She says it is a safe place to live, feels respected, had access to good healthcare, with plenty to do if something of a cultural desert, yet spends 4/5 months a year when the climate becomes too hot in UK, visiting friends and family, enjoying the seasons and cultural life. Maybe that creates a balance. However ime most will put a gloss on their lives there(and in other places popular with expats) but that may be as much to convince themselves it is all worth it. If you plan to return your dc to education in UK the transition may be trickier than expected, academically and socially.

Are you a sahm or working op? I ask because your life will change a fair bit. As a sahm it would be a new place to get used to, and making new friends etc. If you do work then what about your job?

This.

I'd hate it there. Money isn't everything (unless your love shopping - I hate the vacuous pursuit).

I knew a journalist who went over there 15 years ago, mad keen on yoga too, she loved it. She was in her 30's at the time and I don't think ever came back.

Dubai isn't for me but as a child of parents who moved around a lot in my youth, going overseas for a few years at a time is interesting and some of those countries were in the M.East.. I learned a lot, different people, different lifestyles, snippets of languages (whereas my brother learned fluent French while living in Lebanon) and am certainly not shy. It can have perks for children and they will experience a very different and innocent Dubai than you do.

Saying that, 5 years in once places is a long time...

I think this post decides it. You sound like you’re doing life right. If you had a huge yearning to live out there and wanted to try it then I’d tell you to go for it but you don’t seem like a Dubai person. I’m not either. And you are on track for the lifestyle you want in only a few short years. These are important years for the dc, if they can have the benefit of both parents around then I wouldn’t change things.

I wouldn't go as a woman and I wouldn't be taking kids there either.

I don’t know Dubai but I remember a friend whose father was a pilot and she said that her mum was basically like a single mother as her father was away so much. So please bear in mind that you may be dealing with a new country on your own for a good chunk of the time.

with regards to activities, there will be replacements such as learning to swim in the sea vs a pool, other water sports etc

Op support your husband and his career. Preventing this because you don’t want to it will lead to resentment and ultimately divorce further down the line. whilst you sound like the type that will re write history to suit their one narrative and to take no responsibility for things going wrong, please remember this when the time arises.

What are you so scared of?

Hmmm - i moved to Dubai from South London and felt very safe. I was rarely stared at.
It is only very hot for about 3 months of the year.

I dont see the appeal for a holiday. I do see the appeal of living there with young children.

OP have you spent any time with expat families in Dubai? You can do outdoorsy.

You do need to think about where you keep your money, what happens if you split up, what happens to your career.

Have you ruled out all countries with no or questionable democracy?

My sister and BIL did exactly this. He ended up having an affair with a cabin crew woman and it was awful. That came on the back of finding out the nanny they hired was physically abusing their toddler. Don’t underestimate the effect the misogynistic, individualistic, massively unequal culture will have, on him, you, and your kids, is all I will say.

Investing in foreign workers and then taking their passports away so they can’t leave more like.
They’ve also locked up many British people for things that wouldn’t be a crime here.

And then you’ve got the ruling lot committing crimes themselves just look up the missing princess.

I think I'd agree to do it for a year or two and see how it went. The nest egg would be nice and your kids aren't in school yet so you wouldn't be disrupting them too much. Think I'd insist of coming home for th

summer weeks as well maybe air bnb a place for July and August

Does it have to be Dubai? Some.of the other ME states are much less flashy, like Oman.

We’ve got a pilot friend who lives in a similar
place and they go from one air conditioned building to another.

Also I can not get over the slavery they are using and the missing princesses.

Do the maths very carefully. Rent is sky high, everything costs more than the uk, does the job come with healthcare, pension scheme etc? It’s easy to look at a headline figure and think “that’s more” but I know one family who returned from Dubai broke as the cost of living was so high and another from Australia recently

I know someone who did this and did come home after 5 years when the long haul flights themselves got tiring (even with the benefits of being C.) as he got older.

I think I would go. We arent on this planet for long so a 5 year different experience is part of lifes rich tapestry. You will hopefully get a good chance to travel to places that would be a drag from the UK.

I wouldnt expect to love the place but I think it would be interesting. And youll be back in a blink of an eye.

What the malls, why not take them swimming, sand boarding, on boat trips, visits to nearby areas, on play, to museums etc instead?

I have been there on holiday twice and haven’t visited a mall as I was too busy doing back to back activities.

She’s the sort of person I would imagine would love Dubai though. So that wouldn’t inspire me to go.

Are you sure the Dubai deal is as good as he thinks? I lived in Dubai and it was common knowledge that pilots for the local airlines weren't very well paid at all. They tended to be older pilots who were winding down their careers.

So if you move to Dubai, your DH is going to be away for days at a time and you will have no support network and 2 small children. You really need to work through the implications of this and be comfortable with it before you consider an international move as an international move on its own is already stressful without any additional pressures.