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AIBU?

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Original poster

To still be hurt that my DSis stole my baby name?

269 replies

Snowberryfields · 07/01/2026 09:38

My DSis and I both had a baby last year and were roughly due at around the same time. I have had my heart set on a certain name for such a long time. It’s in the top 100 names but isn’t particularly common around my area. My sister knew this as I have made it pretty clear that I adored this name. You can guess what happened next. My sister gave birth a month before me and she used my name. Now, I know I don’t have ownership over a name but this really hurt to be honest. I didn’t immediately say anything to her as I know she had just given birth and didn’t upset her so soon after the delivery (along with being heavily pregnant myself at the time). But last week I did confront her and she said that I am being ‘ridiculous’ and it is just a name and I should get over myself. I called my child something else obviously. I feel horrible saying it but I still look at my child and imagine them with that name. Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Glowingup · 07/01/2026 14:52

You should have used it anyway and told everyone that your sister copied you if anyone asked about it.

YankSplaining · 07/01/2026 14:49

My dad had two cousins on the same side of his family named “Billy”…but both of them were born shortly after Uncle Billy was killed in combat, plus they had different surnames and lived nearly two thousand miles apart. If your sister had been completely above-board here, she would have run it past you that she was thinking of naming her baby Alice. YANBU.

Fortheloveofpizza · 07/01/2026 14:49

She’s a twat. I’d still have used it. I have cousins with the same name

sittingonabeach · 07/01/2026 14:35

I still want to know what the dad wanted to call her? What would have happened if sister hadn’t used the name but dad didn’t like it, would OP still have used it

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 07/01/2026 14:32

Such a nasty thing to do!

Catwalking · 07/01/2026 14:31

OP could still use the ‘favourite’ name in everyday. … 50yrs ago @ boarding school I met some1 we all called Poppy; her actual given christian name was something completely different.

JudgeJ · 07/01/2026 14:25

Pallisers · 07/01/2026 13:59

It was bad of her.

I'd have been tempted to say "Oh lovely. We thought of that name too but went off it in the end"

'Because we decided it was too common'!

JudgeJ · 07/01/2026 14:24

minskspies · 07/01/2026 12:48

I'd have stuck with the name. Kids love to hear the story of 'their' name. Imagine how awkward for your sister to have to explain to her kid why you had called your child the same name. But I'm bloody-minded.

Surely the sister would have told her child that Auntie OP had 'stolen' the name for her younger child! I like the earlier idea of getting a really ugly dog and calling it by the name.

Coconutter24 · 07/01/2026 14:10

I think if people are going to be so precious over a name then they shouldn’t share it before the baby is born and named. No one owns a name so anyone can use any name they like. It was a pretty crappy thing for her to do, I’d of probably said “oh how nice there will be two xxxx’s in the family”…. In hope that she’d change her mind

Salvadoridory · 07/01/2026 14:05

Why cant cousins just have the same name? Its cute if they are close for life and matters not a fig if they are not.

usedtobeaylis · 07/01/2026 14:04

Absolutely bizarre the lengths people will go to on here to avoid giving an OP any support in a perfectly reasonable situation. Her SISTER was a dick about it.

Pallisers · 07/01/2026 13:59

It was bad of her.

I'd have been tempted to say "Oh lovely. We thought of that name too but went off it in the end"

FindMyPhone · 07/01/2026 13:57

Could be like Ann in Motherlands relatives…
Theres Pat, her niece Pat, their cousin Pat, his Uncle Pat, then there’s Little Pat, Big Pat and Pats daughter…Pat😁

Howmanycatsistoomany · 07/01/2026 13:54

NigellaAwesome · 07/01/2026 09:50

If you are getting a pet in the future use the name.

This. A pet snake 😂

Unpaidviewer · 07/01/2026 13:44

Maybe she had also loved the name for a long time? I imagine if your sister had posted saying " I'm pregnant and I've loved the name Alice for the longest time. My DSis is also pregnant and due the month after me. DSis is now saying she loves and plans to use the name we have chosen. WIBU to go ahead and use chosen name?" everyone would have replied saying go ahead, she doesn't own the name etc.

Faithless12 · 07/01/2026 13:33

DrMickhead · 07/01/2026 11:35

Alice is my real name! If this helps you at all, I get called Al so much Paul Simon might have written call me al for me and at school the most common thing said to me was “who the fuck is Alice”.
I went through a phase of using my middle name for a while but it never took off, but Alice is a really crap name to have. “Alice in wonderland” the second you have a thought and daydream.

Fuck Alice! Sister did you a favour!

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I was going to suggest playing that song every time around the sister

Brefugee · 07/01/2026 13:32

It is a nasty thing to do and she was very unreasonable. I wouldn't have waited to tell her that though.

And i would have used the name if i still wanted to because - well, finding a name is hard.

but now you know: if you have another baby, don't tell anyone a planned name.

Alliod40 · 07/01/2026 13:31

My brother and 2 first cousins are all called Patrick.. my other brother is called Michael and my other 1st cousin is aswell..3 sisters called their kids the same name..get over yourself ..should have used the name if you liked it that much

Ladybird69 · 07/01/2026 13:28

what a nasty thing to do to her own sister. I would have used your name anyway but maybe use the middle name too. I’ve changed names for privacy reasons but this is what happened in my family. I had a daughter called her my favourite little girl name Emily. 5 years later my ex cousin had a daughter and Emily was her favourite girl name. She was so upset that she wouldn’t be able to use it, so we had a chat and decided my little one would be known as Emily and hers would be Emily-Jane. We’re happy and both girls are happy. But she was willing to find a different name if I wasn’t happy. Your sister is a selfish Twunt

BlanketyBlankBlank · 07/01/2026 13:28

Snowberryfields · 07/01/2026 11:32

Her name was going to be Alice. I’ve loved the name since I was little when I watched Alice in Wonderland.

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Play living next door to Alice by smokie on a loop!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 07/01/2026 13:28

I think I'd be hurt at her reaction to you raising it as well OP. Telling you that you're ridiculous and you need to get over it isn't kind or empathetic, even if she doesn't agree.

How is your relationship normally? Does she usually get her own way and dismiss your feelings?

What have mutual family members who knew you liked the name, said about it? Surely they would have said 'oh I thought it was your sister who was having an Alice?'

X123x321X · 07/01/2026 13:25

Why didn't you use the name?

HamptonPlace · 07/01/2026 13:24

HPFA · 07/01/2026 12:48

I'll tell my DD that!! 😛

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😂

Tulcan · 07/01/2026 13:24

ItsPronouncedThroatwobblerMangrove · 07/01/2026 09:50

Normally these threads are about a hypothetical future child, so nobody can really have dibs on a name for them. But in this case, given you were already pregnant and so had named a child who was actually on the way, I think she’s done a really shitty thing here. However, you won’t want it to taint anything about your lovely baby now, so try to forget the name and see her as the name you’ve chosen for her. While at the same time thinking very much less of your sister than you did before.

I agree. It’s not the same as ‘you don’t own a name’ because you were actually pregnant and so the name was for a real person. It’s a really, really strange thing for her to have done because she knows that she has done it and she’s going to know forever and ever.

twinmum2007 · 07/01/2026 13:22

Snowberryfields · 07/01/2026 09:38

My DSis and I both had a baby last year and were roughly due at around the same time. I have had my heart set on a certain name for such a long time. It’s in the top 100 names but isn’t particularly common around my area. My sister knew this as I have made it pretty clear that I adored this name. You can guess what happened next. My sister gave birth a month before me and she used my name. Now, I know I don’t have ownership over a name but this really hurt to be honest. I didn’t immediately say anything to her as I know she had just given birth and didn’t upset her so soon after the delivery (along with being heavily pregnant myself at the time). But last week I did confront her and she said that I am being ‘ridiculous’ and it is just a name and I should get over myself. I called my child something else obviously. I feel horrible saying it but I still look at my child and imagine them with that name. Am I being unreasonable here?

Surely there's no reason why you couldn't have used the same name? If it meant that much to you. I know a family where grandfather, father, son AND (father's) nephew all share the same family name. It's weird but they make it work. And if you were in the USA, it would be common.

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