To still be hurt that my DSis stole my baby name?

Sorry but YABU.

If your chosen name was Alice, then call her Alice.

If you told your sister you were calling your baby Alice, then she gave birth a month earlier and called her baby Alice, then perhaps this was also her favourite name but she didn't want to say?

Just because you said it out loud doesn't make it your name to use.

And no one is pathetic enough to name a child just to p*ss someone else off. If your sister disliked you, there's no way she would have chosen the name that you wanted to piss you off as why would she then want a reminder of you every time she said the name?

It's likely she also liked that name so went with it.

So if you still like it and it's not too late to change your daughter's name, then just also call her Alice. You told your sister you were calling your baby Alice so just do it.

That bloody woman! I don't blame you for being angry!

😆

Change your DDs name to Elise or Eloise. Much posher. Nice nicknames. Less bad song connotations.

If that's what she wanted to call her child, do you think she shouldn't have done so because you liked the name? It's unreasonable to expect someone not to use a name because you have "claimed" it.

I have several cousins with the same first name as me. Some of my cousins have the same name as each other, including their surname. Why not just use the name you like?

If you're getting a snake, name it after the sister!!

I would spam her with Alice in wonderland merchandise. Just as you would have done if you used the name, of course. Clothes. Played and cups. Bedding. Cushions. Pictures. Toys.

Oh, that’s awful op. You’re not being unreasonable at all. I think this is why it’s alway best to not discuss names! I hope that you love the alternative name you chose for your baby and congratulations on your little one x

she clearly loved the name as much as
you.

her baby came first

so fair play

This made me laugh! My dad once went to a funeral and it was actually the cousin of the chap he thought had died because the cousins all had the same names (if I recall correctly, the mums of the cousins were twins and did everything the same, including naming their babies…) My dad wasn’t the only mourner at the funeral in error😬😂

ps- OP that was a total dick move by your sister. I’d have been raging!

Told anyone that asked that we were going to call DD "Nemesis", Nemi for short. ..

It was a beyond horrible thing to do.

My first born was due to be Ben if a boy and I was trumped by Kathy from Eastenders who had her boy prematurely (dont they all on TV) and called him Ben!!

And I even ended up having a girl so it didnt matter but almost 30 years now and I still havent forgiven her!

Exactly. It's stupid why anyone would do this. It doesn't make sense.

Yep, too late for this baby but lesson to learn for the next one....

Does she have form for this kinda stuff? Passive aggressive, one upman ship etc?
I would have still used it

This is my name… no one calls me al. I do get called Ali but no one has ever called me al.

and honestly while I did get the who the fuck is Alice a bit no children these days are going to have a clue about that song are they.

I get trying to make the OP feel better but if you could do it without shitting on other people because of their name

We had a few ideas for baby names when I was pregnant but threw them all out when DS was born as didn’t think he suited them and whilst still in the delivery room came up with a name that we had never even considered before. I find it strange that someone can be so fixed on a name from so early on, especially when there is usually another parent involved whose suggestions have to be considered too.

Can we call her those names now???

This is petty genius!!

@Snowberryfields

Her name was going to be Alice. I’ve loved the name since I was little when I watched Alice in Wonderland.

Honestly, I think your DD has dodged a bullet. 'Alice Alice who the fuck is Alice' and everyone will call her AL for short.

Much nicer names out there. I know 3 Alices and they all hate their name.

I also knew a woman who had a baby girl not long before I had my first, and called her Alice, and when she was a year and a half old, the Chubby Brown 'who the fuck is Alice' song came out. She was absolutely gutted and said it had ruined the name. 30 years later, and people still say this to her daughter. I'm not saying this will happen with every Alice, but there is a good chance it will!

This. ^ Too late now, but I never get why people (on here) tell people their future baby names. I say 'on here' because in real life, most people I know/have known don't seem to do it.

I might be a bad person but honestly I would have told her straightaway that you were going to call your daughter Alice as well regardless, and won’t she find it awkward? And that you already told people so they knew it was her who decided to have both cousins share a name. In the hope that she would backtrack.

@OP Some friends briefly stopped being friends with us over this. We had shortlisted some boys names from very early on in my pregnancy, and added this particular boys name after watching a TV show together and liking it. My husband apparently had gone out for some drinks with his friends and one of them had told him they wanted to call their future son (if he ever had one) this name, and had gone so far as to set up email accounts for this future son with this first name and surname. I had no idea the conversation had taken place and my husband couldn't remember it taking place, but his friend was so mad at him when we announced this was our baby name.

I suppose my thoughts are whether you are sure she really registered the conversation and the names meaning to you. Because the name was one of many on our shortlist at the time I don't think it was a key memory for my husband in that moment. Nothing was intentional or meant to hurt. If he'd remembered the conversation or I'd known about it I would have certainly talked with the friends before we announced. I shared screenshots of the baby name shortlist on my phone with them showing the page hadn't been edited in a while and it was one of the first additions to the list in the hopes it might at least prove we didn't add it because of them, but the friendship wasn't really the same after that.

The friend in question unfortunately found out he was infertile around the same time and so has never been able to use the name himself and I think the feelings of betrayal (although completely accidental) are just too wound up in that to come back from.

There's a lesson in this - do not openly discuss name choices with anyone but your partner!

@Neverendingdeclutter seriously who cares about middle names

My sister used the middle name that I was going to use for DS as a middle name for DN. I have no idea why as DN now has the initials ATM! I ended up choosing a better name that has a family connection and am happy with what I chose. At the time I was annoyed but it's not something that I think about anymore.