To still be hurt that my DSis stole my baby name?

You mean like cousins?

Two sibbling's children I meant!

🤣🤣Love that. I think in a big family its ok to have two cousins same name, we had that in my big family and no one ever mentioned it, but I think if its two siblings a bit awkward.

that is absolutely splendid and Im now devastated little Tony was never Shetland Tony. Bit of a prick he is, maybe he didn’t deserve the cool nickname.

Honestly, I would have called your daughter by the name you wanted anyway. Cousins having the same name is fine. And if your sister said anything, you just point out that she knew you were planning to use that name, so she could have chosen something else if she wanted.

But since you didn’t do that, you have to let it go for your daughter’s sake. Learn to love her name because it is hers. Don’t let your sister spoil things for you any more.

This is a missed opportunity for the nickname ‘Shetland Tony’.

Family relationships aren't a game of tennis.

Yes she didn't do enough to be completely cut off but she's an obvious twat.

This happened to me. My sister took my 2nd daughters name. It really did hurt at the time. She knew she had done it. But I got over it, I love her and shes been through hell one way and another, so I wouldn't let it come between us. The name I chose really suits my daughter and I actually prefer it for her now. Just love the name you have chosen, it happened for a reason. ❤️

I Think Alice is a lovely name, but the first thing that pops into my head is the song ‘who the is Alice?’

I hope you’ve named your DD something that’s in a better song.

Most children see and spend more time with their classmates than actual family members unless said family members all go to the same school.

Any parent that chooses a common or popular name risks their child running into someone or several with the same name in their class so I don’t see how it is an issue if cousins have the same first names.

No one would be bothered if someone said my sibling and I loved the same name so we both used it.

This thread has really jumped the shark. Someone actually saying that cousins can’t have the same name because it causes confusion? Really? How did people in the old days cope when all men were Johns and all women were Mary!

Give your DN a nickname and refuse to call her Alice 😂. Maybe Allie, Lil, lilly. I think your sister might be suitably annoyed if you always refer to/call her Al …

You should have just used the name? My mum has 2 cousins with her name, her sister has 1 cousin with her name and her brother has at least 3 with his name. No one cares.

I think it's probably simpler all round if everyone is called something different.

But if I were to be as passionate about a name as the OP is, no way would I step aside and give up a dream.

I have one sibling.

I think if we each had a child with the same name it would be odd.

I can’t imagine most families would feel that way. Especially if seeing the children regularly. There’s a lot of names out there. Unless it’s a family name, the DC need their own name imo.

I understand what you're saying but I don't agree. I've got cousins who are called the same names. No one cares. No one struggles. No one judges.

You could have still used the name but you chose not to. Children grow up and eventually move to different areas and it wouldn’t matter one jot if they had the same name. Learn to love the new name you chose for your child as much as the other name.

I think you could have handled slightly differently at the time. If you’d immediately said that would be sweet, both cousins having the same name, before she’d registered the birth, I suspect it might have made her think again if she was doing it with a view to annoying you. Especially if you said you’d already had stuff personalised with that name, so had every intention of using it. It wouldn’t have been as though she could have gotten cross with you and demanded you didn’t use it, would it? You’d have been able to point out that you’d told her the name you were using and your plans hadn’t changed.

But as you don’t have a Time Machine, you’ve got three options here. A) You either let it go, forgive her and move on, or B) you put some boundaries in your relationship with her and accept that she’s not going to be a sister who champions everything you do, so you can’t trust her as much as you would probably want to, or C) you can decide that you can’t get over it, you can’t move on and you need to cut her off. Personally, I’d go with option B.

I do very much like the previous suggestion of getting a dog and calling it Alice though. Alice the child will be too young to care, but your DS will get the point.

It’s annoying but I’d still have used the name.

Because their mother is going to have 2 grand-daughters around the same age both called Alice. That’s why it matters. You can’t call your child the same name as a 1st cousin as it’s incredibly confusing for family, and the children themselves who would always be known as Alice Jane or Alice Louise etc. And it would make OP look daft as she’d be the one people would assume was copying a name. OP had no choice but to choose another name.

I think you’ve every right to be annoyed when it’s your own sister who named her baby a name you’d told her you wanted to use. No, you don’t own a name but who does that to their own sister. It would make me re-evaluate the relationship.

Then call the child Alice. What does it matter if her cousin is also called Alice.

I do agree though, that it's not uncommon to have a name 2-3 times in each family. Sometimes a few names.

My extended family has 2 Johns, 2 Michaels, 3 Davids, 2 Rachels, 3 Pauls, 2 Andrews, 2 Julies, 2 Sarahs... No-one else has my name though. My parents were trippy hippies and gave me a pretty unusual first-name. I have never met/known anyone with my first-name.

This. The OP said she had dreamed about the name Alice since seeing/reading Alice In Wonderland as a child. Seems weird to be attached to the name all these years, but hey....

My good friend's daughter (now 32) was Harry Potter obsessed in the noughties and from about 7 y.o. her first born daughter was going to be called Hermione. She had her first born daughter in 2022. We were all like 'awww, so it's Hermione is it?' She said 'LOL fuck off 😆 As if... Meet Grace.'

She had given up the idea of Hermione when she was about 16!

Similar tale with me. Big fan of the film Grease when I was a kid, and my first born daughter was going to be Sandy or Olivia. A boy would be Danny or John.

I grew out of this by the time I was about 15. 😆

nb, my friend's daughter's daughter is not called Grace btw!