Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 16:08

DeposedPresident · 07/01/2026 16:07

we sound so similar. I don't even tell people what my diagnosis as the response is usually 'Isn't that the thing people make up?'.

This. It’s absolute shite.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 16:08

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 07/01/2026 16:03

Op, you're getting flamed on here because people refuse to believe that people play the system. But they do, regularly. It's totally up to you if you dob them in but you wouldn't be in the wrong for doing so.

Of course people play the system, but they are usually obvious and eventually the DWP will catch up with them. There is no excuse for ‘dobbing in’ a claimant for not being as obviously disabled as you think they should be. Especially when you know absolutely nothing about their condition beyond what you see on the surface, which is rarely all there is.

DeposedPresident · 07/01/2026 16:07

BunnyLake · 07/01/2026 13:52

After going to the shops yesterday (just my local high street a ten min walk away) and doing some lightish housework like emptying and filling the dishwasher, by night time I had to get my son out of bed to switch the plugs off low sockets (tv, lamps etc) because I could no longer do a simple activity like bending to switch off a socket. After a night’s sleep I am able to do more light activities but by bed time I will be in agony again. This has been my life for over two years now with no sign of improvement. I am hoping the physio will finally have some idea of how to fix this. Dr gives me meds but that is just a short term band aid.

I don’t get financial aid as was declined and can’t face it again.

Edited

we sound so similar. I don't even tell people what my diagnosis as the response is usually 'Isn't that the thing people make up?'.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 16:05

Witcherwitcher · 07/01/2026 15:43

Make an anonymous report that you believe this recipients circumstances have changed and you now suspect there is a possibility they are claiming benefits fraudulently.

There is a scope for reporting suspected benefit fraud. Whether it is true or not and whether anything comes of it is of no concern to you as you say you’ve acted on what you feel is benefit fraud. Whether or not it is or not is irrelevant. Just as there is a mechanism in place to claim benefits there is also a mechanism in place to report suspected benefit fraud. They are independent of each other.

No morals come into it. The facts will be assessed and a decision made.

Edited

Absolute bollocks. You’re trying to excuse the most entitled attitude that a person thinks they are better placed to determine whether someone is entitled to benefits than the DWP. In this case better placed than an appeal tribunal who have to consider whether the law has been correctly applied. Whether anything comes of it may be of no concern to the OP, but it’s certainly of concern to the benefit recipient who is probably doing nothing wrong, but whose life will be turned upside down by a random person thinking they are entitled to judge based on what they see on the surface - which is rarely an indication of everything that’s wrong. Of course morals come into it. DWP have already assessed on a lot more facts than OP is in command of.

LadyKenya · 07/01/2026 16:04

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 07/01/2026 16:03

Op, you're getting flamed on here because people refuse to believe that people play the system. But they do, regularly. It's totally up to you if you dob them in but you wouldn't be in the wrong for doing so.

How do you know that she would not be in the wrong for doing so, do you know her relative as well?

Everlore · 07/01/2026 16:04

Frequency · 07/01/2026 10:42

What I have never understood is how do people know enough about, often virtual strangers, to confidently say they are gaming the system?

I can honestly say I have never had a conversation with some random bloke in a pub about the ins and outs of their health condition or benefits entitlements. I'd be very concerned if some bloke I barely knew started chatting at me about his personal financial information, to the point where I would probably contact adult social services rather than the benefit fraud hotline.

Obviously, it is different with family, but even then, it confuses me how people know enough about distant relatives' health and finances to confidently deduce that they are not disabled or even what precise benefits they are claiming.

I know my BIL gets some benefits for disability due to severe mental health issues, but I don't know which benefit, or what his award was based on, because why the fuck would I?

I know his mental health is poor enough to see him sectioned occasionally, but I don't know the ins and outs of how his health impacts him on a daily basis because again, why the fuck would I?

This is a very good question, in these, absolutely true, accounts of people these posters definitely know who are fraudulently claiming PIP for a bad back while being world limbo champion, I am always surprised by how charmingly garrulous these alleged criminals are.
I imagine that, if one were to commit benefit fraud, one would keep quiet about one's illegal activity, not share it with every nosy neighbour or judgemental distant family member you happen to speak to.
If I were a cynical person, I might be inclined to reach the hypothesis that these flagrant fraudsters are figments of the posters' fevered imaginations, conjured up from a thousand lurid Daily Mail disabled-bashing scare-mongering headlines. However, I am a trusting soul so I would never suggest such a thing!

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 07/01/2026 16:03

Op, you're getting flamed on here because people refuse to believe that people play the system. But they do, regularly. It's totally up to you if you dob them in but you wouldn't be in the wrong for doing so.

CrapNewYear · 07/01/2026 15:57

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

Do you live with them. Do you actually know how able they are on a day to day basis. Not just what you see when you visit.

Right little sourpuss you aren't you.

TheMorgenmuffel · 07/01/2026 15:49

If someone went to tribunal and won it means they had a fuckton of evidence.
If they can get out and about and have a life then great. I'm glad pip is helping them do that.

Just out of interest, what do you think the life of a disabled person should look like?

LadyKenya · 07/01/2026 15:45

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 14:59

Maybe it's the thought of work that triggers the panic attacks? Just a thought.

Maybe that poster knows less than she thinks she does, about her neighbour, just a thought.

Witcherwitcher · 07/01/2026 15:43

Make an anonymous report that you believe this recipients circumstances have changed and you now suspect there is a possibility they are claiming benefits fraudulently.

There is a scope for reporting suspected benefit fraud. Whether it is true or not and whether anything comes of it is of no concern to you as you say you’ve acted on what you feel is benefit fraud. Whether or not it is or not is irrelevant. Just as there is a mechanism in place to claim benefits there is also a mechanism in place to report suspected benefit fraud. They are independent of each other.

No morals come into it. The facts will be assessed and a decision made.

TigerRag · 07/01/2026 15:34

Frequency · 07/01/2026 15:26

What makes you more qualified to assess whether someone is disabled than the medical professionals who are involved in the PIP assessment?

Do you have a medical background and access to the claimant's medical files?

Lol, 70% of people go to tribunal and win. What makes you think pip assessors are qualified to assess whether someone is disabled? They claimed I'd grown out of something which is physically impossible

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 15:31

Frequency · 07/01/2026 15:26

What makes you more qualified to assess whether someone is disabled than the medical professionals who are involved in the PIP assessment?

Do you have a medical background and access to the claimant's medical files?

Maybe she has magical powers that score worthiness of disability from afar.

Frequency · 07/01/2026 15:26

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 15:21

I have all the compassion in the world for people who are genuinely disabled.

What makes you more qualified to assess whether someone is disabled than the medical professionals who are involved in the PIP assessment?

Do you have a medical background and access to the claimant's medical files?

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 15:21

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 14:53

No you should turn a compassionate eye.

I have all the compassion in the world for people who are genuinely disabled.

Ohthatsabitshit · 07/01/2026 15:08

I think the problem is that the issue is not really that there are huge numbers of people scamming the benefits system. It’s that the government have decided that there isn’t enough money to support all the disabled people so they are going to move some disabled people out of the disabled category and rebrand them as able. In order to cover the fact that they are basically cutting loose vulnerable disabled people to save money they have decided to allow this (or perhaps promote this) idea that these are just bludgers who need to try harder.

It’s nonsense of course. Unsupported needs lead to more expense down the road not less.

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 14:59

mydogisthebest · 07/01/2026 08:54

I very much doubt anything would come of you reporting. I have reported my neighbour numerous times who supposedly has such bad anxiety and panic attacks that he cannot leave his house so therefore cannot work.

He in fact leaves his house every single day. He goes shopping most days, he walks his dogs, he visits his girlfriend, he sees his son. Oh and he also works most days cash in hand.

He has been getting away with this for over 3 years.

Maybe it's the thought of work that triggers the panic attacks? Just a thought.

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 14:53

CautiousLurker2 · 07/01/2026 08:33

Honestly - they don’t monitor unless an officious neighbour or - cough - relative reports them with actual evidence. They took 8months to process our claim due to backlog - a straightforward evidenced claim with an initial in person interview with DWP (to vet me, as much as DD) and then via zoom to do the actual assessment for my DD herself. They simply do not have the manpower or budget to be snooping and spying. That’s a myth rooted in the wishful thinking of anti-benefits [possibly right wing] handwringing.

Please don’t let it stop you making a claim because if they deem you as eligible you should take the money and use it to support pain management therapies that just aren’t available on the NHS, or to get a cleaner - no one has to know you receive it. It is no one else’s business, so if you are awarded it, just keep it to yourself. Judging by this post, I wouldn’t even tell family!!

Edited

'They simply do not have the manpower or budget to be snooping or spying. That's a myth rooted in the wishful thinking of anti benefits[possibly right wing] And here's another reason to laugh at the mythical 0.00000% PIP fraud rate. This thread is the gift that keeps on giving. Oh and of course anyone who objects to benefit fraud absolutely MUST be right wing.

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 14:53

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 14:33

So by your logic we should all just turn a blind eye should we?

No you should turn a compassionate eye.

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 14:33

KuanKaKu · 07/01/2026 07:24

Refocus your efforts on those with excessive wealth, yet paying minimal taxes! Therein where the problem lies… tax avoidance costs more than benefits cheats

So by your logic we should all just turn a blind eye should we?

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 14:23

GlassofRosePorfavor · 07/01/2026 08:04

Snitches get stitches

Pathetic. Are you on the take yourself?

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 14:15

Parsleyandthyme · 07/01/2026 14:00

benefit expenditure overpaid in FYE 2025 was 3.3% (£9.5bn)
Quote from the Gov website above
What's most amazing isn't 9.5bn fraud but that 9.5bn is only 3%!!!!

Not that amazing when you consider that the greater part of benefit expenditure is pensions.

I suppose your level of amazement depends on whether you want to live in a society that protects older and disabled people and families from falling into destitution.

Parsleyandthyme · 07/01/2026 14:00

benefit expenditure overpaid in FYE 2025 was 3.3% (£9.5bn)
Quote from the Gov website above
What's most amazing isn't 9.5bn fraud but that 9.5bn is only 3%!!!!

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 13:55

Donttellempike · 07/01/2026 13:53

On the off chance that this thread is not a wind up.

I am very glad I know no one like you OP. You are truly the worst of us

Sadly many posters think like the OP. It is more important that they get their second ski holiday than they contribute enough to look after the vulnerable in society properly.