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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 07/01/2026 00:04

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:00

Not being deliberately goady. It’s just something I and others have felt for a long time within the family. Many of us work in the health field and wonder how on earth it was awarded when we see what they can do. I have similar issues with dressing myself but like them, can do it.

So have any of these family members, including you, told this relative what you think, or do you just chunter behind their back?

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 00:04

Keep your nose out of other people’s business and spend some time working out what’s going so wrong in your own life to make you so bitter and spiteful towards someone else. I just couldn’t be arsed to care about this. A court ruled she is entitled to it and I doubt you know enough to judge fully so leave her be.

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:03

UserFront242 · 06/01/2026 23:57

This.

I think OP came here wanting people to validate what she was saying, and instead her arse has been rightfully handed to her.

It is just another benefit bashing thread. We can see right through them.

I’m a ‘her’ am I? I’m absolutely not bashing the benefit. I think it’s great for people who can’t walk miles, can’t lug furniture, can’t do heavy gardening can’t dress themselves and do domestic activities. They can.

OP posts:
CherrieTomaties · 07/01/2026 00:03

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:00

Not being deliberately goady. It’s just something I and others have felt for a long time within the family. Many of us work in the health field and wonder how on earth it was awarded when we see what they can do. I have similar issues with dressing myself but like them, can do it.

Well why haven’t you and your martyr family members got together and reported them already? If there’s multiple people in agreement?

Why?

What were you hoping from by posting this thread anyway?

PandoraSocks · 07/01/2026 00:02

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:00

Not being deliberately goady. It’s just something I and others have felt for a long time within the family. Many of us work in the health field and wonder how on earth it was awarded when we see what they can do. I have similar issues with dressing myself but like them, can do it.

Drip feed !

Give it up OP and go to bed.

ilovesooty · 07/01/2026 00:02

PandoraSocks · 07/01/2026 00:00

Sooty, if you are on PIP before retirement age, it continues after retirement age.

Thank you.

ilovesooty · 07/01/2026 00:01

Penelope23145 · 07/01/2026 00:00

People don't move to Attendance Allowance at pension age if they are already on PIP.

Thanks.

MumWifeOther · 07/01/2026 00:00

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

Get a life

PandoraSocks · 07/01/2026 00:00

ilovesooty · 06/01/2026 23:59

He would have moved over to attendance allowance probably.

Sooty, if you are on PIP before retirement age, it continues after retirement age.

Penelope23145 · 07/01/2026 00:00

ilovesooty · 06/01/2026 23:59

He would have moved over to attendance allowance probably.

People don't move to Attendance Allowance at pension age if they are already on PIP.

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:00

Not being deliberately goady. It’s just something I and others have felt for a long time within the family. Many of us work in the health field and wonder how on earth it was awarded when we see what they can do. I have similar issues with dressing myself but like them, can do it.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 06/01/2026 23:59

Penelope23145 · 06/01/2026 23:54

I was wondering this as he could have continued claiming PIP into retirement?

He would have moved over to attendance allowance probably.

UserFront242 · 06/01/2026 23:57

TwattyMcFuckFace · 06/01/2026 23:55

I disagree.

I think what MN doesn't like is cunty behaviour and people crowing about reporting others, under the guise of hand-wringing.

Most normal people would just quietly get on with reporting if they thought it was justified.

They wouldn't need to start yet another goady 'debate' about it.

This.

I think OP came here wanting people to validate what she was saying, and instead her arse has been rightfully handed to her.

It is just another benefit bashing thread. We can see right through them.

shhblackbag · 06/01/2026 23:56

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:22

Fair enough. I see them regularly. I do know the ins and outs and they live a pretty normal life really. Yes, morally torn. Most of the family think it wasn’t appropriate.

Do them a favour and stay away.

PandoraSocks · 06/01/2026 23:56

UserFront242 · 06/01/2026 23:54

It is bullshit, because if you are on PIP before retirement age, you still get it once you reach retirement age.

That is why I asked. @bert3400 ex was a bit of a rubbish benefit cheat if he hadn't sussed that out during his 20 years of fraudulently claiming disability benefits. He certainly didn't know how to "work the system".

UserFront242 · 06/01/2026 23:56

Hellohowareyou112 · 06/01/2026 23:55

I’m going to go against the grain here… if I was capable of walking miles and decorating my own home I wouldn’t dream of claiming benefits. Society will only work when people only claim benefits that they need. Someone that can do those things could do a job, maybe not every job, but there would be jobs they could do.
I think I’d find it difficult reporting a relative, but it does sound like they could work from what you say

OP is on about PIP, and it is not an out of work benefit.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 06/01/2026 23:55

Livelovebehappy · 06/01/2026 23:51

Go for it. You’ll get a disproportionate amount of people on MN though who like to turn a blind eye to benefit fraud, so probably not the best place to get a balanced opinion on it.

I disagree.

I think what MN doesn't like is cunty behaviour and people crowing about reporting others, under the guise of hand-wringing.

Most normal people would just quietly get on with reporting if they thought it was justified.

They wouldn't need to start yet another goady 'debate' about it.

Hellohowareyou112 · 06/01/2026 23:55

I’m going to go against the grain here… if I was capable of walking miles and decorating my own home I wouldn’t dream of claiming benefits. Society will only work when people only claim benefits that they need. Someone that can do those things could do a job, maybe not every job, but there would be jobs they could do.
I think I’d find it difficult reporting a relative, but it does sound like they could work from what you say

Anyahyacinth · 06/01/2026 23:54

They fall and can’t dress themselves and you begrudge them? Wow just wow

when do you want to do away with next……weekends, sick leave, pensions?

Article in the Guardian today £800 million owed to HMRC by recruitment firms going bust and reopening with same directors over and over and people are being conned into attacking each other, Starbucks, Costa etc..not paying any tax on billions in profits - someone getting help because they are disabled is how you want to address our problems? What employer would employ someone who falls without some difficulty? Can’t dress easily etc..

UserFront242 · 06/01/2026 23:54

PandoraSocks · 06/01/2026 23:53

As he approached retirement age he made a miraculous recovery

Why did he stop pretending at that point?

It is bullshit, because if you are on PIP before retirement age, you still get it once you reach retirement age.

Penelope23145 · 06/01/2026 23:54

PandoraSocks · 06/01/2026 23:53

As he approached retirement age he made a miraculous recovery

Why did he stop pretending at that point?

I was wondering this as he could have continued claiming PIP into retirement?

NotThisAgain1987 · 06/01/2026 23:54

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

I really, truly, in the core of my being hope you become disabled and have some one scruntenise you they way you have your relative.

Disabled people are allowed to socialise and do fun things and doesn't matter how Rottweiler esq an advocate is if the evidence isn't there it isnt there.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 06/01/2026 23:53

ilovesooty · 06/01/2026 23:50

I always wonder whether people like you are prepared to tell their relatives to their faces that they think they're receiving unfair benefits and they are thinking of reporting them.

No chance.

They'll be the type of MNetter who sits there shaking and crying because someone's knocked at their door and they weren't expecting them.

Penelope23145 · 06/01/2026 23:53

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:52

No, like I say see them regularly. Know how life is lived. They walk far and wide on a regular basis. Occasional falls maybe a few times a year. No mobility aids. Live a pretty normal life. Life is not restricted by mobility.

Then that seems bizarre how they got enhanced mobility awarded unless awarded based on the other mobility descriptor. I guess maybe if having falls and always being at risk of that they are considered not to be able to mobilise reliably?

PandoraSocks · 06/01/2026 23:53

bert3400 · 06/01/2026 23:51

My X husband was on disability benefits for years (20+) ...he was unemployed, then suddenly got a back condition and was classified as disabled. He got the highest rate of benefits. He fooled everyone. In 20+ years he decorated our adult sons houses numerous times, up ladders, full decorating...never outside the house As he approached retirement age he made a miraculous recovery...fit a a fucking fiddle. I would never ever begrudge a genuine claimant but don't be fooled...some people know how to work the system 🤔

As he approached retirement age he made a miraculous recovery

Why did he stop pretending at that point?