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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
Frannieisnthappy · 07/01/2026 00:22

OhDear111 · 06/01/2026 23:20

@nzeire We are all paying for people lying. It has to be called out. This is because it takes away from deserving people and we then see assumptions made that everyone is cheating. If you can supply evidence op, do it.

A qualified tribunal has found this person deserving based on evidence provided.

How have you reached the comclusion that they are taking away from others?

Original poster
Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:21

I think overall that’s a ‘no’, so I’ll sail off content that what I have done so far (nothing) was the morally right thing to do. Goodnight. Thanks for your help to those who haven’t called me disgusting for wondering whether I was doing right or wrong.

OP posts:
Iceshine · 07/01/2026 00:21

Its funny to me anyone can claim benefits any benefits have kids for money, refuse to work full time just to get UC, or have topups from UC etc ect.

The moment anyone man woman or child says i get pip its wrong and they dont need it because they can do this that and the other.
Its not easy to get its bloody hard.

As i said above thats why i dont tell a soul its between me and the DWP only.
I have my review in 2028.
To look at me you would think i dont need it but you dont live in my world, or my body.

ticklyfeet · 07/01/2026 00:21

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:14

ah well. It’s the fraud element we discuss not the money.

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You stated you see this person regularly. Did you at any time think to have discussion with this person regarding your concerns about them committing fraud? Or was this just discussed with others behind their back?

Frequency · 07/01/2026 00:17

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:14

ah well. It’s the fraud element we discuss not the money.

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You don't know what medical evidence your relative presented, but you do know it was fraudulent?

That makes perfect sense. Your relative is lucky to have such a supportive family.

FlowerUser · 07/01/2026 00:17

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:03

I’m a ‘her’ am I? I’m absolutely not bashing the benefit. I think it’s great for people who can’t walk miles, can’t lug furniture, can’t do heavy gardening can’t dress themselves and do domestic activities. They can.

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Except they have occasional falls. Which is terrifying because a fall can lead to serious injury. They probably can't predict when they might fall, or they may get very tired after walking a long way and be more likely to fall.

Until my recent surgery which has given me a limp and a lot of pain, which hopefully will improve over time, you would not know from watching me walk that I have severe osteoarthritis. I'm fine on the day when I'm walking, but if I take more than 1,000 steps, I get extremely tired and I can't walk without pain the following day. I have a blue badge so I don't have to walk far and I take taxis or drive rather than use public transport. I might be eligible for PIP but I haven't applied.

So because I take care of myself and park close to shops and sit down a lot, I mostly look fine and don't look disabled. The blue badge allows me to take care of myself.

You say you know someone, but you don't always. You can't see the pain, fatigue or anxiety that having their condition gives them and that they might be hiding from you.

And if you have something similar, why don't you apply for PIP? Envy is not a good look on anyone.

ilovesooty · 07/01/2026 00:16

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:14

ah well. It’s the fraud element we discuss not the money.

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So have you discussed it with the relative in question or just chuntered behind their back?

researchers3 · 07/01/2026 00:15

Denbyregency · 07/01/2026 00:06

Have you thought of becoming a pip assessor?

Quite.

Snugglemonkey · 07/01/2026 00:15

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:43

Thanks. I am not angry. Possibly a little sanctimonious though! I do know the ins and outs and I do know the process.

The process is daunting enough without your own family members wishing you ill. I have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia. I am only 45, but often get around my house bum shuffling like a toddler. I have to conserve my energy for masking so my children are not upset by it.

Noone has any idea what lengths I go to to look "normal". Not even dp.

I could never go for Pip or the like. I could not stand any kind of scrutiny. Because of attitudes like yours.

Original poster
Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:14

ticklyfeet · 07/01/2026 00:12

”Most of the family think it wasn’t appropriate.” Why do you and the family think it was APPROPRIATE to be discussing someone’s financial arrangements?
This is exactly why people should not be discussing their finances with anyone.

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ah well. It’s the fraud element we discuss not the money.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 07/01/2026 00:14

For goodness sake, stay out of. Not having to worry about finances does wonders for health but in your relative's case, it's fragile, could not take knocks.

Don't judge.

I wish people would keep quiet about the benefits they receive, people just don't understand.

TheSalvadorsStickbymebaby · 07/01/2026 00:14

Iceshine · 07/01/2026 00:09

This is why i tell NO ONE i get pip.

And money is no substitute for being healthy and pain free and able.👍

MO0N · 07/01/2026 00:14

Blame the game, not the player.

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:13

Iceshine · 07/01/2026 00:09

This is why i tell NO ONE i get pip.

Literally the best advice anyone on PIP could have. Don't tell anyone.

researchers3 · 07/01/2026 00:12

Iceshine · 07/01/2026 00:09

This is why i tell NO ONE i get pip.

Yeah, i dont blame you!

ticklyfeet · 07/01/2026 00:12

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:22

Fair enough. I see them regularly. I do know the ins and outs and they live a pretty normal life really. Yes, morally torn. Most of the family think it wasn’t appropriate.

”Most of the family think it wasn’t appropriate.” Why do you and the family think it was APPROPRIATE to be discussing someone’s financial arrangements?
This is exactly why people should not be discussing their finances with anyone.

researchers3 · 07/01/2026 00:12

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

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'Proportionality' is not your call to make.

You honestly sound unhinged.

Mind your own business. What on earth is going on (or not) in your own life that this is such a concern for you?

Frequency · 07/01/2026 00:11

Hellohowareyou112 · 06/01/2026 23:55

I’m going to go against the grain here… if I was capable of walking miles and decorating my own home I wouldn’t dream of claiming benefits. Society will only work when people only claim benefits that they need. Someone that can do those things could do a job, maybe not every job, but there would be jobs they could do.
I think I’d find it difficult reporting a relative, but it does sound like they could work from what you say

PIP is not an out-of-work benefit. You canwork FT and still qualify. If you're going to judge people you know nothing about, at least educate yourself on the topic you are judging them on.

Iceshine · 07/01/2026 00:09

This is why i tell NO ONE i get pip.

Anyahyacinth · 07/01/2026 00:08

Denbyregency · 07/01/2026 00:06

Have you thought of becoming a pip assessor?

😂 fabulous ..they know how this relative copes through the night that they only fall a few times a year …they’d have an impressive rejection rate ..presumably all those terminally ill people who are denied it

ShowMeTheSea · 07/01/2026 00:07

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

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Are you them?!
No. So you haven't a clue what they go through.
They do have health problems
So leave them alone then! FFS

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:07

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:03

I’m a ‘her’ am I? I’m absolutely not bashing the benefit. I think it’s great for people who can’t walk miles, can’t lug furniture, can’t do heavy gardening can’t dress themselves and do domestic activities. They can.

Show quote history

Fucking hell, the vast vast majority of posters on here are women, so if I have mis-gendered you then accept my apologies, but that is a distraction from the real issue here.

I know people on PIP who do all those things, but they can't do them all of the time... safely, repeatedly and reliably.

JustCabbaggeLooking · 07/01/2026 00:06

ByKeenBlueHelper · 07/01/2026 00:05

Leave them along FGS they clearly have proven enough are you jealous

I think he might be.

Denbyregency · 07/01/2026 00:06

Have you thought of becoming a pip assessor?

ByKeenBlueHelper · 07/01/2026 00:05

Leave them along FGS they clearly have proven enough are you jealous