Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
Frequency · 07/01/2026 00:50

patooties · 07/01/2026 00:48

And this is why reasonable people - with a reasonable view (and a real life set of 👀) cannot ever engage in these conversations. They become a pissing competition where those in real need invite you to adopt their disabilities/ children and walk in their shoes etc.
The issue is the blaggers - that we know and see living their lives. They are the ones that cause suspicion.

The zero percent fraud rate is the DWP's own figures. One would hope the people who award the claims know more about the rate of fraud than schoolyard gossips who see someone do two school pick-ups a day and decide they understand that person's physical and mental health conditions better than the medical experts who assessed them and had access to their medical records.

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:50

patooties · 07/01/2026 00:40

Nobody is saying that they shouldn’t. I’m certainly not, but if you see people, living a reasonably functional life (including dog walks, holidays, school runs, super market shopping etc etc on the almost daily ) basically everything but ‘work’ due to their bad back or MH you cannot stop people drawing conclusions- that maybe, they’ve over egged. (No I’m not a medical practitioner, no I don’t assess, no I don’t have access to their medical records- I do however have multiple examples in real life and professionally who I feel might fall into that category- and no, I’ve not grassed)

PIP is not an out of work benefit.

patooties · 07/01/2026 00:48

Frequency · 07/01/2026 00:43

Medical evidence is also needed. It's not just a case of filling in a form. The fraud rate for PIP is 0% despite everyone and their dog knowing at least 11 people who rock climb for a hobby but get £3m a week in PIP payments and 7 free Teslas a year.

And this is why reasonable people - with a reasonable view (and a real life set of 👀) cannot ever engage in these conversations. They become a pissing competition where those in real need invite you to adopt their disabilities/ children and walk in their shoes etc.
The issue is the blaggers - that we know and see living their lives. They are the ones that cause suspicion.

Catpuss66 · 07/01/2026 00:47

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

How do you know what problems they encounter? Do you live with them? Some conditions are worse 4 out of 7 days the other days they are able to do a bit more. Disability isn’t just a static thing it ebbs & flows.

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:46

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 00:40

Yep, and we all see the multiple ‘guides’ on the internet on how to complete the assessment forms so that decisions go in the favour of the claimant. Tribunals can only make decisions on the information put in front of them. And let’s not kid ourselves that every application they see is a genuine version.

If you apply for a job, you surely look up the best way to word things that expresses your strengths and describes your experience.
If your CV just said "I am good at managing", then you wont get anywhere. So you look up what terms and words to use.

Applying for PIP is the same. You need to word things in a way that expresses how difficult you find things. There are guide on how to do this as it is really hard.

Applying for PIP is especially hard, as people applying have to basically look into how shit things are. If they have a disabled child, a child that they love dearly and brings so much love and light to their lives... they have to write down how shit their life is, and how they can't manage things their peers find piss easy. That is so fucking hard, and a lot of parents applying for DLA take fucking ages to fill the forms in because they basically have to say how bad things are, and in the mean time try to live their kid's best life.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 00:45

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 00:40

Yep, and we all see the multiple ‘guides’ on the internet on how to complete the assessment forms so that decisions go in the favour of the claimant. Tribunals can only make decisions on the information put in front of them. And let’s not kid ourselves that every application they see is a genuine version.

Tribunals have medical experts on the panel who specialise in the conditions being claimed for. Do you think they don’t require robust evidence, not just hearsay written on a form?

14HoursToSaveTheEarth · 07/01/2026 00:44

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:37

I suppose sat on my whether I was being fair to them and society at large really. Please don’t call them a scumbag. They aren’t. Right, really off to bed now.

???????

I never used that term so please don't suggest that I did. In fact, I think you will find I was entirely on your family member's side.

Wow

Frequency · 07/01/2026 00:43

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 00:40

Yep, and we all see the multiple ‘guides’ on the internet on how to complete the assessment forms so that decisions go in the favour of the claimant. Tribunals can only make decisions on the information put in front of them. And let’s not kid ourselves that every application they see is a genuine version.

Medical evidence is also needed. It's not just a case of filling in a form. The fraud rate for PIP is 0% despite everyone and their dog knowing at least 11 people who rock climb for a hobby but get £3m a week in PIP payments and 7 free Teslas a year.

FlexiSadie · 07/01/2026 00:43

🍪Where's the biscuit gone?!

80DaysAroundTheLounge · 07/01/2026 00:41

OhDear111 · 06/01/2026 23:20

@nzeire We are all paying for people lying. It has to be called out. This is because it takes away from deserving people and we then see assumptions made that everyone is cheating. If you can supply evidence op, do it.

They can sometimes walk miles is not enough reason to 'dob them in'. Let the assessors do their jobs. She should mind her own business and stop being vindictive.

patooties · 07/01/2026 00:40

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:29

The disabled people who perk up for a social event are often in pain and in bed for days after the event.

Disabled people are allowed to have a life, and they are allowed to have good days, and they should feel able to go out and have a life without judgemental cunts thinking they must be taking the piss because they left their house and had the audacity to have a good time.

Nobody is saying that they shouldn’t. I’m certainly not, but if you see people, living a reasonably functional life (including dog walks, holidays, school runs, super market shopping etc etc on the almost daily ) basically everything but ‘work’ due to their bad back or MH you cannot stop people drawing conclusions- that maybe, they’ve over egged. (No I’m not a medical practitioner, no I don’t assess, no I don’t have access to their medical records- I do however have multiple examples in real life and professionally who I feel might fall into that category- and no, I’ve not grassed)

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 00:40

Frannieisnthappy · 07/01/2026 00:22

A qualified tribunal has found this person deserving based on evidence provided.

How have you reached the comclusion that they are taking away from others?

Yep, and we all see the multiple ‘guides’ on the internet on how to complete the assessment forms so that decisions go in the favour of the claimant. Tribunals can only make decisions on the information put in front of them. And let’s not kid ourselves that every application they see is a genuine version.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 00:39

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:37

I suppose sat on my whether I was being fair to them and society at large really. Please don’t call them a scumbag. They aren’t. Right, really off to bed now.

I don’t think that poster used the word scumbag, I did, and I was being sarcastic.

Dragonsfoot · 07/01/2026 00:37

14HoursToSaveTheEarth · 07/01/2026 00:30

Sat on it for years? I suspect stewed over it for years is closer to the mark. And it sounds like you've taken the time to look into what level of disability corresponds to what level of benefit which is a level of interest bordering on stalkerish. How on earth do you know what level of challenges they face behind closed doors?

Someone a long time ago said something about letting he (or she) without sin cast the first stone. Have you never done anything in your life that you would not want revealing to anyone? If not, hush up and leave them be.

Edited

I suppose sat on my whether I was being fair to them and society at large really. Please don’t call them a scumbag. They aren’t. Right, really off to bed now.

OP posts:
Bathingnow · 07/01/2026 00:36

Regardless of whether they're entitled the benefit or not, how tf does someone feel more loyalty to the taxman than to their own family?

MO0N · 07/01/2026 00:35

Of course the genuine claimants are in the majority but that doesn't mean it isnt easy to game the system.

shhblackbag · 07/01/2026 00:35

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:29

The disabled people who perk up for a social event are often in pain and in bed for days after the event.

Disabled people are allowed to have a life, and they are allowed to have good days, and they should feel able to go out and have a life without judgemental cunts thinking they must be taking the piss because they left their house and had the audacity to have a good time.

Thank you!

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 00:35

Snugglemonkey · 07/01/2026 00:15

The process is daunting enough without your own family members wishing you ill. I have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia. I am only 45, but often get around my house bum shuffling like a toddler. I have to conserve my energy for masking so my children are not upset by it.

Noone has any idea what lengths I go to to look "normal". Not even dp.

I could never go for Pip or the like. I could not stand any kind of scrutiny. Because of attitudes like yours.

Why are you comparing your situation to OPs relative? Totally different scenarios…

ShowMeTheSea · 07/01/2026 00:33

TheSalvadorsStickbymebaby · 07/01/2026 00:14

And money is no substitute for being healthy and pain free and able.👍

I completely agree, it baffles me when people get jealous or resent how much others get when it comes to stuff like disability benefits

"Wah, they get too much!" 🙄
No amount of money would make me want to swap and not have full health.

14HoursToSaveTheEarth · 07/01/2026 00:30

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:26

Nothing. Probably a load of guilt if anything came of it. More an issue of remaining silent and I suppose social duty. Have sat on it for years. No I don’t think they should never go out but higher rate is for people with major mobility problems which impact their daily life which they simply don’t have.

Sat on it for years? I suspect stewed over it for years is closer to the mark. And it sounds like you've taken the time to look into what level of disability corresponds to what level of benefit which is a level of interest bordering on stalkerish. How on earth do you know what level of challenges they face behind closed doors?

Someone a long time ago said something about letting he (or she) without sin cast the first stone. Have you never done anything in your life that you would not want revealing to anyone? If not, hush up and leave them be.

Lotsnlotsoflove · 07/01/2026 00:29

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

That's not your business.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 00:29

You do realise that you don’t need be to a complete invalid who sits in a corner rocking back and forth to get PIP. PiP is there to help people live as full a life as possible, people are still entitled to enjoy themselves, have long walks when and if they are able to do so, exercise their own autonomy and independence as much as they can. I know, what a shocker!! What a fucking liberty, eh?

Out of interest, how long has your criminal scumbag of a relative been claiming? And why haven’t you expressed your disgust by reporting them at ONCE instead of slagging them off and writing ill intended threads online? Aren’t you withholding information if you don’t? That’s a crime in itself 🤣

If you feel that they can do all the things you say they can but still get PIP, and you yourself have similar problems but don’t get it, then why don’t you put in your own application? It seems that it’s the fact that you don’t claim that is making you resentful.

UserFront242 · 07/01/2026 00:29

patooties · 07/01/2026 00:25

You’ve not realised that every single person who claims pip / motability and sickness benefits is pure as the driven snow yet have you OP?

The reason the proposed cuts to the benefits will be harsh - but not as badly received as Government might have first thought due to the fact that everyone knows a blagger - or someone who appears to be one. In every playground of every school - there is one who appears to be able to perk themselves up for a daily school run / karaoke down the pub / the school disco / shopping down the town centre but can’t walk more than 3 steps when it comes to their claim…

this will be unpopular- but I don’t mind. Those people , who walk among us, make genuine claimants be viewed with suspicion.

The disabled people who perk up for a social event are often in pain and in bed for days after the event.

Disabled people are allowed to have a life, and they are allowed to have good days, and they should feel able to go out and have a life without judgemental cunts thinking they must be taking the piss because they left their house and had the audacity to have a good time.

patooties · 07/01/2026 00:25

You’ve not realised that every single person who claims pip / motability and sickness benefits is pure as the driven snow yet have you OP?

The reason the proposed cuts to the benefits will be harsh - but not as badly received as Government might have first thought due to the fact that everyone knows a blagger - or someone who appears to be one. In every playground of every school - there is one who appears to be able to perk themselves up for a daily school run / karaoke down the pub / the school disco / shopping down the town centre but can’t walk more than 3 steps when it comes to their claim…

this will be unpopular- but I don’t mind. Those people , who walk among us, make genuine claimants be viewed with suspicion.

ticklyfeet · 07/01/2026 00:24

ilovesooty · 07/01/2026 00:16

So have you discussed it with the relative in question or just chuntered behind their back?

Apologies, I responded after you with exactly the same thoughts.