To not understand how people have an evening.

We have our own business and both work from home. Admittedly we have more time than those who work outside the house but the only daytime task is loading the dishwasher which wouldn't be necessary if we weren't in.

Ironing a jumper or a t-shirt is just making work for the sake of it.

My DD wears a pinafore to school so even if her polo shirt was crinkled (which they are all non-iron and crease free anyway) you wouldn't see it.

I think you need to lower your standards OP. Also the kids are old enough to help, so give them some of the tasks.

Exactly 😁

You must both do a lot of faffing around, rather than just get the jobs done. The hoovering was an anomaly as only once a week,

so whilst your husband is cooking dinner, what do you do normally? Doing rhe dishes and wiping down shouldn’t take so long either,

im afraid I also can’t work out what you’re both spending several hours a night doing each, you’re basically saying between you both you have 6-8 hours of labour each night.

We have an evening, at least one child does an activity 4 of 5 weekdays and we’re both runners. I don’t get from your list of how you do things why you don’t. The things you list are both of you for an hour at the absolute max and they includes a huge amount of faffing.

Well, perhaps 5 secondary shirts plus a jumper - plus two adults’ clothes for the week. It adds up!

'I have a proper evening most days. Every morning I empty the dishwasher, put some clean washing away, load the dishwasher throughout the day, after tea tidy up properly & wipe worktops, dishwasher on, tidy up living room, then head upstairs to put toddler to bed, come back down to a nice clean house ready for some time to myself :)'

So you are not working!

We go to bed about 12 get up at 7 kids get up at same time.1 younger child bed by 9 other about 10-10:30

Outside of school uniform what do most kids wear? Mine wear sports stuff that dries in 5 mins and doesn’t need ironing.
2 of my dc still at school - their tank tops genuinely don’t need ironing so at absolute maximum that is 10prs trousers and 10shirts each week. Really doesn’t take that much time if they have been shaken out properly after washing and dried properly.

The other thing I picked up on OP is that you said you’d struggle to follow a recipe while doing other chores alongside… are you cooking new dishes every night? I’ve cooked most of the things we eat so often that I could do it blindfolded! So I can easily unload the dishwasher etc while cooking. I’m only following recipes if I’m cooking something special or new, which wouldn’t happen on a school night!

I think it’s just a matter of what we are willing to make time for. I have to iron. It’s non negotiable for me. I don’t iron sports clothing(it doesn’t need it) I don’t iron towels, tea towels or duvets but I will iron the pillow covers. I iron uniforms and put work clothing, jumpers T-shirts etc.

The ops dc are 8 and 12. They are perfectly capable of putting their own clothes away. How much ironing do kids of that age produce? Not much

Washing up... doesn't take that long its only what we just used and we just rinse before putting in the dishwasher

Prepping lunches... literally never done this, we make food as we need it not way in advance

Putting washer on... thats a day task (noisy) and takes literally 1 minute tops, you stick it in and switch it on

Unloading dishwasher... once again a 5 minute task at max

I don't get why people are martyrs about this stuff. The truth is most 'dreaded' jobs that people make a huge fuss over actually only take a minute or two to do in reality. They only become 'overwhelming' if you don't do them and they pile up but if your not doing them then you have even more time. You listed about 10 minutes worth of housework how are you making that an all night extravaganza?

And yes we go to bed around eleven to midnight-ish after spending 3-4 hours relaxing and enjoying each other company.

I never iron anything. Who has time for that? My husband is in charge of laundry, he puts everything in a basket once it's dry and sometimes gets round to putting it away, other times we just go and get what we need out of the basket when we need it.

God I would love to work 15 hours per week!! 😂😂

The OP only works 15 hours a week though so loads of those chores can be done on her non working days.

I've only got one child, but this is how we get an evening:

• We unload the dishwasher in the morning while the kettle is boiling - takes 10 mins tops (much less tbh) - DH does this as he's up first
• I don't make lunches as DS tends to have school dinners, but on the odd occasion that I do, I do them in the morning - again, only takes a couple of minutes, depending on what you're making I guess? Sandwiches or similar are quick, if I'm chopping up carrots or something that also is only a few mins
• We eat around 6/6.30 and we're usually done by 7 at the latest.
• We load the dishwasher as we go throughout the day (and while cooking) - so after dinner, the plates we've been using get put in and then it's ready to be turned on (and DS clears the table and puts plates in the dishwasher while me/DH sort out leftovers etc)
• DH washes up any pans etc that don't go in. He tends to put anything that needs to soak in the sink before sitting down to eat so its easy to clean (but we're talking usually a couple of pans and one tray)
• I take DS up to get ready for bed around 8.30. DH tidies up downstairs
• We both sit down and watch TV from around 9
• We do have a cleaner, but when we didn't, things like hoovering were done at the weekend unless something had been spilt etc. DH will run the hoover/mop around downstairs if needed while I'm taking DS up to bed.
• Washing gets done during the day (I do work from home, so that is easier - but again, when I didn't, we'd put it in the morning, set it to finish when we got home and then tumble/hang up - in the summer, put on overnight so it can be hung out when we get up).

You seem to be creating a lot of additional work for yourself. That is fine if you want to spend most of your evening on chores.

We're always washing up, prepping lunches, putting washing on, unloading dishwasher, until at least 10pm at night.

These should take less than half an hour.

Washing up and loading the dishwasher (10 mins max) - washing up should be limited to one or two large pans left to dry. Any items of crockery that doesn't go in the dishwasher should be replaced with items that go in a dishwasher.

Unloading dishwasher, lunches (5 mins) - the older children can do this.

Putting washing on (5 mins) and unloading and folding washing (10 mins).

They tidied their rooms whilst I hoovered, wiped the kitchen floor and swept out the fire. That took about 1.5 hours for me with a small break in between.

A quck sweep and wipe of the kitchen floor can be done in five minutes last thing every evening.

Do you really need to hoover on a weeknight? Who/what is creating the dirt?
Would asking everyone to only eat at the kitchen table help? Would asking everyone to remove their shoes in the hallway help?

Do you really need to sweep a fire? Having a fire is not only creating additional work and dirt, it also adds significantly to your family's risk of lung cancer.

I usually don't have an evening as kids to clubs on most night but on nights they don't i make dinner, wash up around 6.30/7.
Washing is done during the day while i am working at home or if not will do while making dinner. Packed lunch made in mornings.
10 year old goes to bed around 9 and 14 year old stays up but i watch tv for an hour or so after youngest in bed.

I do my two loads in a Saturday morning and this time of the year they go in the dryer. I will fold everything that I don’t iron and give them to the relevant person to put away in their bedroom etc. The ironing is done at some point on sat evening or Sunday morning while I watch tv or something. Whichever is least busy. And again given to each person to put away. Family of 4.

Just to clarify our routine (children 14, 12, 10) - husband and I both work FT in quite senior roles and I have 1hr commute. I come in around 7pm (him around 6pm), and at least one of children have got sports clubs most evening. So one of us will go round collecting child/ren from clubs, whilst the other makes dinner. We sit down to dinner together about 8pm, then after that there is still an hours worth of time chatting to the children or reviewing parts of their homework (eg helping to test them on something they have learnt etc). Hence they are in bed by 9/ 9.30pm, and only then can we start with everything else which has to be done.
At weekends, we prioritise exercise and especially time with the children.

I don’t love this criticism of ‘inefficiency’ or ‘faffing’ - this stuff comes more readily to some people
than others, whose strengths might lie in other areas. But I can see that some tips can be helpful and I agree with a PP that a cordless hoover (we have a Hettie) can be a gamechanger. And although I try and avoid using the tumble dryer for environmental reasons I am increasingly doing so for socks and pants as hanging all this stuff out is soul-destroying and that compromise has helped.

But also on laundry, I note no one is mentioning the time it takes to put washing away and iron where necessary. I don’t love using the quick wash function more than necessary and there is no way we’d manage to get all our laundry done on one day at the weekend if everyone (family of 4) wants clean bedding and towels on a regular basis, never mind clothes. Some of the ‘systems’ above also seem to depend on running appliances while asleep or out - I do do that with the washing machine and dishwasher when I have to but it’s best avoided from a fire safety perspective (tumble dryer is an obvious no no).

Totally agree. Mine are up till about 9pm but then there is all the clean up and prepping, and also all the life admin to do as well!
The result of this for us is that we go to bed about midnight, as evening starts around 10/10.30pm.....I am trying to change it by going to bed earlier (my new year's resolution), but it is hard to make it happen exactly for the reason you said.

Why are you hoovering the whole house every day or even more than once it a week? It cannot need it so often.

The other reason I really like my slow cooker is that while it’s obviously a slower way to cook it’s very much ‘set it up and forget about it while you do other things’. For example we had a load of apples (seriously loads of the bloody things) so I spent half an hour peeling, coring and chopping them all, some went into the freezer just like that for using in pies and crumbles, the rest went into the slow cooker with a couple of tablespoons of this kerrygold flavoured butter and a teaspoon of cornflour on low. I left it for a couple of hours while we went out and did something else and came home to a vat of apple compote to use as a quick dessert with custard or on top of porridge for breakfast. So saving time on future days.

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/320974446

Other days I oil and salt a load of baking potatoes and stick them in there on low, can leave them for 6- 8 hrs and they’ll be perfectly soft in the middle and just need 15 minutes in a hot oven to get a crispy skin. They can be frozen and taken out one morning to defrost for dinner so perfect for a quick future comfort meal. Or scoop and mash the innards and freeze that so you have frozen mash that can just be microwaved from frozen and used as a side one night.