To not understand how people have an evening.

Mine is out on the line majority of the year (except a rainy day). Air or tumble dry for a few mins in the evening and put away. Hardly ever use the tumble dryer. If I saved it for the weekend and the whole weekend is rainy, i’d have the tumble dryer going all day (you should never leave the house with a dryer on either so i’d be stuck at home instead of enjoying the weekend).

Its been sunny for the past week, had towels in my load today and they were straight onto the towel rail in the bathroom and nice fresh line dried towels tonight. Got it on the line before work/school run. No overloaded washing basket, definately no washing everywhere and no giant pile for the weekend. Its works great for us.

My husband is autistic. It takes him 10x longer to do many domestic tasks than it takes me. Changing the bed, I do it with the grandchildren on a Monday morning. They like to 'help'. Even with a nearly 4 year old and a 2 year old it takes a matter of minutes. The old sheets are thrown down the stairs and put in the machine.My husband wouldn't be able to cope with doing it with children and I can go in the shower, blow dry my short hair , get dressed and he'll still be doing it. Chopping a punnet of strawberries is so unbelievably and impossibly slow that I have to go and do a job in another room. Some people are fast , some are slow. Perhaps you are slow people. My house is very large. It doesn't take an hour and a half to hoover it and I am a meticulous hooverer.

I have 3 children (7, 5 and 2), I do the lions share of parenting/housework, and I’d say I’m wrapping up by 8pm for the evening most nights of the week so I get a couple of hours to myself before bed.

I stack the dishwasher as dishes are used, so it takes a couple of minutes max after dinner to add those dishes. Dishwasher goes on overnight and I unstack it in the morning while DC have breakfast. Then I prep lunches for the next day while DH plays with the DC and gets them bathed. Once I’m done, I help DH. Bedtime is 7pm for the 2 year old (which I usually handle - takes about half an hour), older 2 usually go to bed between 7pm and 7:30pm. Once I’m done putting the toddler down, I’ll usually wash any non-dishwasher dishes; this takes me 30mins max (and only that long if there are also dishes from breakfast/lunch that I haven’t been able to wash earlier in the day). I do laundry during the day, usually put it on first thing and hang up in the afternoon after school.

I will say that I only work part time (3 days per week), but on my “days off” I have my 2 and 5 year old home as well (my 5yo is starting school this year so it’ll only be the 2yo now). I also run my own business, so I do often end up working a little on my non-work days. I’m hoping I’ll get more time for housework on those days now that I’ll only have 1 DC at home.

I have three kids and work full time and I wouldn’t spend my evenings doing this. I think it’s so important to have wind down time and time for yourself or as a couple. The person not putting the kids to bed does straightening up, dishwasher etc. Washing gets done on the weekend or a quick load put on in the morning. Yes my house isnt immaculate but i’d say it’s pretty clean and tidy most of the time. OP you need to claim back your time!!

It sounds like you hoover once a week, why not just do it at the weekend and top up where needed on week nights?

This is utterly bizarre. I have a 12 and 4 year old and do all of this every evening and they are both sorted by 6:30pm. Do the dishes as you go along when cooking so all you have left is the plates to chuck in the dishwasher. And I do literally nothing in the morning as I leave for work at 5am.

I go to yoga once a week so not particularly sweaty to be fair. They just go in the laundry basket. Dc play sports but have multiple kits and the timing of their sports (one on a Friday and one on a Wednesday) means they are not sitting there all week.

They are not particularly muddy/smelly kits though. Ds plays rugby so after a match it can be messy enough so I will wash them straight away then yes. So it’s never too pressing.

Everyone has a laundry basket. DS’s is in his bedroom, DD’s is in her en-suite. Ours is in our bedroom. They get brought down on a Friday night or Saturday morning.

I wash the bedding once in a blue moon when I think it needs doing. It doesn’t seem to be doing us any harm. I do a wash load every other day. We have a cleaner once per fortnight.

Yes, definitely this. Just get a roll of cheap baking paper and tear some off every time. This is what I do. Cleaner and makes your chips crispier

Our kids are 8 and 14, we both work full-time and we have an evening and have done for years.

I got home with youngest at 5.30. DH was wfh and finished at 6. We both cooked dinner, ready at 6.30. Dishwasher was already filled with stuff from the day. Wash load was put on in the morning so I just had to put it in the dryer. Ate by 7, cleaned up by 7.30. At 7.30 our youngest will do spellings, times table rock stars and piano practice while older one does homework. Youngest will have a quick shower at 8, read with us and in bed by 8.30. Oldest will stay in her room until bed at 10. Me and DH will chill and watch TV firm 8.30 til 10.

16-18 years old aren’t children!

Anyway, last time I looked, bringing up children didn’t mean being their servant. It’s about teaching them life skills that prepare them for adulthood, not doing everything for them.

All teens should absolutely be doing chores.

Do your kids/you do any sports?

I batch cook by just cooking double now and again so I can freeze it.

I don’t wash ALL bedding every week. There is no need. Unless anyone has been sick or sweaty etc. I wash them in rotation. But I can fit the DCs in one wash with clothing yeah.
I have all light grey towels so they can go with lights or darks.
I do one whites/lights and one dark wash.

Towels fit easily in one load for the house 4x shower towels and 3x hand towels.

Bedding I can get both kids singles in one load.

I do about 4 loads a week for 4 of us.

I'd focus on doing what you can to get dinner earlier where possible, so if you are home first you start dinner ready for a soon as your husband comes home and vice versa. Easy meals or slow cooker for the nights neither is home early. Possibly even something in the oven the 12 year old can switch on easily after a bit of practice? Younger dc would probably eat quicker earlier if they are not as tired.

Get yourself some baking paper sheets for the baking trays then there’s no soaking and scrubbing.

So you manage to wash all the bedding for all the beds in one load? All the towels for the whole house as well? Then darks, lights, etc...they all go in one of two loads with the bedding and towels?

We have dog towels as well, and in this kind of weather they need washing every day or so, so even with a few in rotation there's a lot of washing.

Pasta is quick, cheap, filling and versatile. I do at least one pasta dish a week. Tonight it was creamy sausage pasta which I did with broccoli. Used just one pot and one frying pan.
The good thing about pasta is that if you make enough, you can often have the leftovers cold in a lunchbox, so that's the lunch for tomorrow sorted too. Just bung it in a Tupperware and put a bit of fruit and a yoghurt with it.

I batch cook whenever I'm cooking something that can be frozen. I just do double/triple amounts and pot up the bits for the freezer while I'm clearing up.

So in a sense, it does kind of magically happen here. I make a curry on a day I have time, two or three boxes go in the freezer. I make pasta sauce or lasagne on a WFH day (I slow cook the sauce, takes 15 minutes to put together then simmers all afternoon), two or three boxes go in the freezer. And so on.

Plus DH has gym kit, work uniform - no judgement of others but this thread highlights that everyone has a different idea of what is essential every day e.g. I give the bathrooms a wipe over every day (not a full clean) but sink and toilet (boys!). Others might do that once a week. We all have our different ‘every day jobs’ we cant go to bed without doing.

I dont mind not having evenings sat down as always enjoy the weekends and make the most of them (still have to do some boring jobs ofcourse). I aim for as much house stuff done as possible in the week. When our kids go to uni (scary not that many years left), will just have to catch up on the last 18 years of tv 🤣

Oh no, both of ours are in bed by 7pm and we’re in front of the tv. I put laundry in the machine very last thing at night and put it on a delay to be finished when I wake ups so I can then put it in the dryer before I head out on school run. Put it all away when I come home. Dishwasher is unpacked while making breakfast, washing up is done as we are cooking so all that needs doing once we sit down is put plates in dishwasher. Packed lunches are made in the morning as a team effort. It sounds like you’re trying to load to much into the evenings… just spread it out throughout the day. It does mean you’re sort of slowly always doing stuff but it does give you the evening off. And once you’re in the habit of doing those things, it hardly feels like work at all, just sort of the routine.

Single mom to a son with complex special needs.

Here are my tips as someone with adhd who is at the hospital with her son everyday.

1. Clean while you cook. If somethings in the oven you vacuum, wipe cabinets, clean up then. Wash the pots the second you are done cooking. It should take less than 5 minutes. I do it before we sit down to eat.
2. I put the washer on in the morning. Dry when I come home. Fold and away after dinner. Takes about 10 minutes max. I do a load a day because I have extra laundry due to his needs.
3. I wipe down my bathroom while I brush my teeth in the morning and the main bathroom while I brush my teeth at night. I deep clean it once a week but it’s always in good shape.
4. kitchen gets wiped down after dishes are in the dishwasher and garbage emptied when I take the dog for a walk.
5. I have a bath or shower right away after laundry is away and put on pajamas and get ready for the night. It helps me settle in and feel like I have more time to myself. Phone goes away, yoga mat out, I stretch and read and decompress. I find being intentional with my free time makes me feel more rested.
6. Make a check list of your daily and weekly cleaning. I pick a task each day that takes roughly 20 minutes. I am too tired at night to do too much cleaning so I wake up 30 minutes earlier each day and dust, or clean windows, mirrors, bathroom, floors. Whatever is on my list that day. I find it gives me a boost in the morning and I listen to an audiobook so it’s relaxing and feels mediative. I also workout and do other morning routine things but I have found adding 20 minutes to my morning of cleaning means I relax more at night and on the weekend.

It sounds like you are frittering your time away on useless stuff, like posting on MN, worrying about stuff like To not understand how people have an evening.

When you posted this at 22.29. This was your evening.

I have evenings because I have a second job and have to work them.

Sorry, I have committed the mumsnet crime of not RTFT as it's so long, so this is probably repeating what others have said but my kids are the exact same ages as yours and my 8yo is already n her PJs with teeth brushed and ready to go to bed and it's only 6:45pm. She's having her 15 minutes playtime right now and will be sent upstairs at 7pm sharp. Some nights, if I can get away with it, she goes at 6:40ish. I could not be doing with an 8:30pm bedtime, but she is a particularly full-on child and needs a lot of attention so we need that time apart.

I would suggest dinner time a lot earlier. Ours is 5-5:30. Starting cooking dinner at 6:30 fills me with dread for a school night!