To think being a mother is a constant worry.

It is entirely normal.

I can never understand the MN attitude of distancing yourself from your kids at 18...... You will always worry about your kids, always.

We rang our respective mothers all our lives when we went abroad to say we arrived safely, and when we arrived back. We phoned when we left them, to say we got back safely. Still in our 50's and they in their 90's.

Our kids message too when they are away from their homes, not doing their normal routines.

DH and I have never not spoken to each other every day when we are at work, or away. Odd for some, normal for us.

You are not alone…I am driving myself round the bend at the moment worrying about my kids. It’s particularly bad with my youngest son who is nearly 18 and very sociable and popular..which is great …but he’s started going out a lot to parties..getting lifts with friends who are starting to pass their driving tests and get cars…learning to drive himself. I catastrophise constantly when he’s out…hes going to get alcohol poisoning…stagger into road drunk , die in a car crash, get abducted….mugged…
i wasn’t as bad with my older 2 so i think it’s definitely the menopause affecting me. I am a single parent so haven’t got a partner to share my worries and talk me down. I just feel this is my life now. Im trying so hard not to be over-protective and encourage him to live his best life but really i just want to wrap him in cotton wool and never let him go …its so tiring and the anxiety does get me down. I dont know what the answer is…the only thing that helps me is a vague belief in fate and if something is going to happen it will so no point worrying about it and trying to live in the moment,

I always worry. My mum worries about me. I don’t think it’s avoidable.

‘Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it first seems’ - Bel Mooney says that quite a lot.

I work out how to cope with the worst case scenario. (That reassures me as I know it is very unlikely.)

However, I can’t cope with Switzerland and am avoiding the news as a result.

I find it much harder now they are older teens, driving causes me all sorts of anxiety. I can't sleep till their home. I have become so anxious in the last 5 years. It is definitely not normal.

It never stops - I actually think it's easier when they are younger as you know where they are and what they are doing all of the time!

Same. Having kids is a huge responsibility. Anyone who thought about it long and hard enough probably wouldn't have them! Not much point worrying unnecessarily AFTER you already have children though as there's nothing you can do because bad stuff does happen in life. It's why I never took the risk.

Yanbu. One has food allergies so everything is a worry.

My mum always said this when I was younger and she still does. It's true 😅😳😢

Yep I think being a mother means worry is a pretty constant companion 😔 mine are all adults now and I still worry and have sleepless nights. I think in some ways it's harder as they get older because they will make their own decisions and mistakes and you can't always make things better for them. They say you're only ever as happy as your least happy child and I think that's true.

This is one of the reasons I chose not to have children. I am a worrier and I would have been eaten alive by anxiety.

One trick I have learned is when you feel yourself catastrophizing, rather than thinking “what if” change it to “even if”. It gives you some control back.

I hate to say it but it never goes away my eldest is 40!

It’s reassuring to me that I’m not the only one feeling like this, I’ve felt abnormal for so long re my anxiety and particularly being a parent- it actually helps to know others have the same struggles.

I have a young adult and a teen and feel the same. I try very hard not to be over protective but anxiety is something I’ve struggled with my whole life and it probably has affected my parenting to a degree (I’m not proud of that). I’m also peri so definitely finding that a contributing factor. My brain automatically jumps to worse case scenario and I have to work hard at rationalising. Sometimes I do want to be by myself on a tropical beach somewhere with no one to worry about. Doesn’t help that I have elderly parents to worry about too.

I’m trying hard to make some changes though, I might try the book too…

I worry all the time too

I don't have any special tricks, I just tell myself firmly not to be daft. Seems to work!

Same here

I am constantly worrying about something regarding the kids

Oh they forgot their folder for school...

Oh what happens if they fall into deep water (lots before they were competent swimmers)...

Oh what if DD has another anaphylactic shock...

Etc etc

Yep I feel the same I'm so worried about them

And what will happen to them.
They are both vulnerable in different ways

Same with me I have 3 teen dds one that has autism and I worry constantly about them and their futures. I had a colleague that said to me once that you are only ever as happy as your least happy child and I think, for me, that is so true. You are so emotionally entwined with them it can be hard to get perspective on it

My son (9) has gone to bed tonight upset about going to school tomorrow. Loves school so nothing to get upset about but is upset the holidays are over and about a particular project they'll be studying this term. So now ive come to bed early upset because I listened to him for 5 minutes and then said we've had a lovely holiday but you're going to just have to get on with it, it won't be as bad as you're thinking and its too late now and I'm tired. I think I should have listened more I suppose but I feel so tired as work's rough. I've tried to go back in but hes asleep 😴

I agree I often think I wouldn't have had children if I had known how.mich worry would be involved.

It's awful when they have health problems to add to it all.

I know what you mean about the fire deaths, can't imagine what the families are going through. Those youngsters just out celebrating new year.

And the week before Christmas a teenager crashed and died on the M1 near us. I became consumed by this and how his family must be feeling and this added to more worry about dd driving to work.

I feel devastating worry about mine and am going to have to try CBT to deal with it. It is worsened by the fact that one of them does have some challenging health issues.

The hideous deaths in Switzerland have really preyed on my mind over the past few days - so often it seems as though horror is out there just waiting to knock on your door. Those poor parents, and beautiful young people, such tragedy. (One of the kids who died looked so very like one of my sons that it’s really thrown me.)

I do sometimes fell that had I known the burden of worry, I might not have chosen to have children at all. Maybe I am a CBT emergency 😬.

OH, I can SO relate to this.... and mine is an adult.

I hear you and it's drives me crazy the amount I worry.
Also peri meno so maybe linked.

Ooof, I feel you. Mine are 15 and 17 and the eldest is also type 1 diabetic and I worry so much about him and how he will be when he moves out. I hate the constant worrying.