Decision taken from me about dangerous driving

Some people think their "good" driving makes them invincible.... so an accident will never happen to them. But accidents can happen to anyone, any time, any where. Its luck rather than judgement from the driver in the OP that means there wasn't an accident.

A child in the boot?!??

OP you are not wrong- totally agree

I’m not pretending anything, that comment and a couple of others (although one can’t be found now, as one of your posts have justifiably been deleted), were very poor taste.

Or are you saying they were also badly worded?

Not sure why you added the laughing emoji, again poor taste in my opinion.

Well this is obviously what I said 😂

I literally can’t believe anyone is pretending they thought otherwise.

Mind-bogglingly stupid attitude.

This is not ok. I have a friend i dont trust taking my kids as she is unsafe in a car. Not as in her driving but as in her seat situation. She has turned up at my house on more then one occasion with 6 kids in a car that only sits 5 people and she has no safety for her 3yr old son who takes his arms out of his straps. Iv stressed and stressed my opinions and she always has excuses. So my kids don't stay at her house and if we go anywhere together we take my car. I have a 14 seater bus.

I wouldn't mind this, if it was a short drive in a safe area- I guess I think the odds of anything bad happening are vanishingly low. I am putting my view on here because it's the kind of thing that people like me often keep quiet about because it is so shocking to so many people, not to mention illegal.

I am old and grew up in a different era, as did my kids...
Still, I wouldn't drive another person's child without proper seatbelt, etc, unless the parent and the child were both explicitly fine with it.

It actually drives me mental when people do this sort of thing. Change plans after agreement and put you in a position where it’s then hard to say no.

i have a friend who did this exact same thing, although I didn’t find out for a couple of weeks (11 year old didn’t think to mention it). The risk was relatively low given the roads involved but I was annoyed anyway. We used to lift share all the time but now I just make excuses and say we’ll sort ourselves (I’m not usually arsed about lift sharing anyway - I prefer to drop off and pick up my own kids so I know all is well).

Car insurance is invalidated if the number of passengers is greater than the number of seats. So if your daughter were involved in an accident, the driver would not be insured if anything happened to her.

You are right to object and to protect your child.

Yanbu.
If she insisted on having a seat belt to herself, it sounds as if your dd was more sensible than the adult. Not sure what 12 year old me would have done in that situation.

I thought if the others in the car were minors it was the responsibility of the driver to ensure they were belted correctly.

It would definitely be the responsibility of the driver not to drive with more occupants that the car is legally allowed to carry. She would also have invalidated her insurance. In an accident my guess is the insurance company would pay out to third party claims, but not for any damage to to the car, or personal injury for the driver.

Shame she didn't get stopped by the police. I don't think they would have been impressed. They wouldn't have let her continue so may have called you to collect her.

Well we will have to agree to disagree then.

Over capacity issues start with over capacity, the risk of accidents increase with the amount of over capacity, but nevertheless over capacity is not allowed for safety reasons.

There are two interpretations. I see that statement as being that the similarity is really nothing. Not the over capacity.

Literally the only similarity is over capacity. Which is really nothing.

She’s saying over capacity is really nothing! Clearly!

WTF!!!!

She’s not. She (I assume she, sorry) is saying that the only similarity between the two cases is the over capacity, and that is not a massive similarity. Not that the over capacity itself isn’t an issue.

7 kids compared to 4 is a big difference.

It’s not you. Would never do this and I don’t know anyone else who would (but clearly you thought that too.)
I know of some parents who are slack around seatbelt wearing but just never. Never with my own kids and definitely not with anyone else’s either.

Over capacity is not “really nothing”, it’s more noise, more moving around because they’re not comfortable, more distraction, more bodies to fly about in the event of an accident.

The more bodies in the car, the worse an accident is, clearly seven is worse than four, but four is still
wrong.

How can you say that over capacity is really nothing?

It would have been an absolute no from me I would have collected or asked another parent. But I appreciate it’s hard when you are on the spot.
I had a similar situation when my tiny dd was about 8, she still needed a booster so when she was invited on a trip to nearest city for a friend’s birthday I took the booster when I dropped her off at friends house. (I didn’t want to assume they had one as bday girl was several inches taller and might not use one) When dd got home that evening she told me she was in the back of the car on her booster as was the bday girls younger sisters. The bday girl and two other friends were in the boot!! No belts, this was on the moterway too. Lesson learnt always check the seating arrangements if your child is being transported.

Dear god, you must’ve been petrified! Did you say anything when she reached your house?

OP, you are right to feel how you feel!

We had that 360 app at one time on our sons phone, and he was seen being driven at over 80 miles an hour, home on our winding country roads by the mother cf the party boy.
He won’t be going with them again.

You are not unreasonable OP

I learned a long time ago just to insist on driving both ways and being a willing taxi for any bystanders. I don’t rest until they’re home and won’t drink if they’re out in case I have to get in the car for an emergency, so I may as well just drive and be done with it (DH feels the same). But I am definitely uptight. And so is DH, fortunately. LOL

I would never let this person look after my child again. And would make sure my daughter had a way to contact me as this could have been avoided if she had a way to get in touch with you.

id never ever do this and would never forgive someone for doing this to my child. I’m not intense about everything but I have very strong feelings about car safety. I would find it impossible to get past this honestly. I hope you never allow this person to drive your child again.