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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’m finally done

28 replies

Lolill · 06/01/2026 19:23

I’ve finally for 3rd time left my partner and took my two year old with me this time I am literally done because I falled for his lies again last year in the summer saying he was going to change for our son and cut the drinking and get professional help so he can be a good role model for our son for his future but he’s done none of that!! On the 2nd of January 2026 I left because he got really aggressive with me infront of our son and then in the pub he threatened a man that lives on the same neighbourhood as him and that was also in front of our son. He’s been messaging but I’ve only replied to one message when he asked if our son was ok but other than that I’m not replying and I’ve not spoken to him properly over the phone as I’m really hurt and had enough. If he was to take me to court I’m in the right arnte I to not let him have access to our son cause he can’t even have him on his own because he’s a drinker and also suffers with sleep apnea so he has to kip at some point in the day to catch up on sleep. What can I do ??

OP posts:
blubberball · 06/01/2026 19:32

I'm so sorry you've been in this situation, but well done for doing the right thing by yourself and your son. He would have to go to court to gain some sort of access, which he may or may not have the energy to do. You don't feel safe leaving your young child with him, so you can't at the moment. Focus on your self care, and your ds. Keep contact professional and imagine a judge reading it (because one day they might) anything that needs a response, can just be something like "I'm just thinking of the child" Any venting you need to do, vent to a trusted friend or anonymously online. Do not vent to him. He will likely try to suck you back in to his dysfunction, but stay strong for yourself and your child

Lmnop22 · 06/01/2026 19:30

You can’t deny access entirely because he’s a drinker. You can certainly organise supervised access in a contact centre or supervised in the community by you or a family member/friend. He still has the right to see his son unless there’s a genuine safeguarding concern

zipadeedodah · 06/01/2026 19:27

I think if it goes to court then your ex partner WILL get some sort of access.

Do you think he will bother going down the legal route? A lot of people say they will but then don't bother.