To feel like I can’t do this anymore?

I can't even answer this rationally after you said he has collected 6 working dogs. Who the fuck does he think is? A member of the aristocracy or maybe David Beckham? You really need to put your foot down regarding your needs, your boundaries and the reality of being a '3 business entrepreneur'. I can actually speak from experience minus the 6 dogs - as a dog lover I'd enjoy that right now, but when time is short and kids are young, they come first. I am divorced largely due to this scenario, and am very much 'less is more' when it comes to young family and working all hours if it can be helped. I hope you don't get to this point, OP.

Sell the dogs. They're not pets, they're working dogs, and they need to be worked, not just walked. He's not working them, so sell them to someone who will actually use them. Same with the ponies - tell the kids that they either care for their own ponies responsibly, or they go on Horsequest next week.

Tell DH that you're putting an ad out for a secretary. Get yourself a good iron supplement, and it might be worth seeing your GP in case you need B12 injections or something.

I know its easy for me to sit here and dictate. But honestly your husband sounds horrible and your kids sound lazy. If you drop dead from exhaustion, they're going to have to manage, aren't they?

SIX working cockers??????

SIX????

FFS.

Do you have access to the bank accounts OP? Because if you’re not going to leave and divorce him (I would) I’d start buying help in.

This has nailed it for he - he sees you as an accessory - all of these acroutements are simply symbols of his ‘success’ - and it’s your job to keep it all rolling. He couldn’t care less about your needs because he doesn’t see you as a human being in your own right. You’re a household appliance.

What a miserable life.

What’s keeping you there?

I think you need to leave him.
Money doesn't equal happiness.
There is no amount of money you could make that will make things less stressful because he's addicted to work.
He doesn't know how to just be.
It doesn't matter how many ponies the kids have if they aren't spending quality time with him. It doesn't matter how nice your house is if you're collapsing from stress.
Would it not be better to live more modestly but feel happier?
You could do that if you left him. Focus on your own career and happiness. You dont need all these things you have. You need actual support.
Either a husband who is actually there or the freedom to take time for yourself because you aren't constantly working for a husband who is never there.
If he wont listen to you you do need to separate.
Hes unlikely to change and he will frame it all as your fault whether you stay or go..
So you may as well go.
It sounds like you are a capable person who make things work alone.
You dont need these expensive things. It's not bringing you joy. Swap them for time.

My god, just reading your posts are making me tired!

You need to leave ASAP. You will be an absolutely ace single mum because your responsibilities will be about one tenth of what you're doing now!

No it’s not right. And not sustainable. And the older you get the harder life is in terms of energy.
I’m quite burnt out and don’t have as much on as you op. You need staff to help.

I agree you have to be tough on him. I also understand because you are living a privileged life, people are less sympathetic towards you. He can afford a dog walker, start with that. If the kids have motorbikes and ponies then they are old enough to pull their weight too. They should be doing more chores and minding their animals at a minimum.

Just leave. All of it. Take the kids. Wait until he’s home one weekend and have the car packed ready. The second he walks through the door you leave. You turn off your phone and you disappear for a full week minimum. Preferably a month. No contact at all. Nothing. He will have no idea until he loves it. And if he thinks you’re coming back after a week he’ll just leave it. A month and he’ll have to make changes, put systems in place. You don’t do a single thing except pack the car. No meals in the freezer. No full fridge. Zip. No dog and pony guilt. Just go.

What's happening isn't fair and he's taking advantage of you. He is doing exactly what he wants and he's using you to enable him. You begin by saying he's successful. Well maybe but only because you pick up the slack. I bet he's having a great time, living his best life swanning around whilst you are put upon and poorly. So you have to put a stop to it. Give him a month's notice and tell him you are going back to your proper job.

Make a list of everything you do, tell him that it can’t continue this way.
If he doesn’t step up to help and still expects you to do 101 things then tell him he needs to employ a cleaner, a dog walker and someone to do the ironing. Tell him to contact an agency to get staff, that he has a month and that’s your notice to stop doing that too.

It’s great he wants to provide but at what cost? And let’s face it, he is not able to work like he is because you are doing the 101 things

Being a working parent isn’t easy, let alone with the addition of dogs (& working dogs at that!) and ponies!. Your DH needs to step up, or if he genuinely doesn’t have time, then pay someone to help.

Shooting probably.

This is in no way tackling the key issues but just as an easy win....order the following and start taking them straight away to tackle your low iron:
-Spatone
-Vitabiotics iron
You should soon start to physically pick up at least.

This is unsustainable. I’m intrigued as to what your daily routine looks like and how you fit everything in. You only live once OP. I hope you can find some strength to make some changes/divorce as this doesn’t sound enjoyable.

So many questions - why does he need these dogs? Why is he always in another country? What is the business? Is it actually worthwhile if you also have to work full time? It's easy to say perhaps, but I just would not accept this.

First, the dogs need to go to good homes, then he should come back to be part of the family. I would just be thinking of striking out alone/with kids if not... But I know it can't be that simple. (I would imagine...?)

Also what's the point in having the 6 dogs in kennels at home if he's never there with them? What's he using them for? I don't understand.

You are a married single parent.

His work was making him ill so he transferred a load of it onto you and it's made and is making you ill. This isn't working obviously. For all that you have the price is too high. I hope you find a way to a happier life OP. Best of luck.

I love dogs but looking after 6 working spaniels is a PT job in itself. I would have to say that I simply can’t look after or walk them and he will have to come up with a solution.

OP my jaw hit the floor when I read 6 working spaniels, I had 1 working cocker and he ran me ragged! And ponies too? Lord.

This is clearly unsustainable. It's no good having "all this" - houses cars, ponies etc - if you're too knackered to enjoy it. It sounds like he does the "business" work he wants to, on a schedule that suits him, with lots of time away from the house & kids & pets, and you're left to pick up everything else.

Make a list of all your responsibilities and everything you do in a day/week. So kids. Pets. Housekeeping. Business admin role. And whatever else. Something needs to be outsourced - eg could you have a cleaner/dog walker/au pair/give up the admin role etc. If he says you can't afford it, then what is all this work for??

Have you seen your GP for your anaemia? Have a check up too. It sounds like you're being worked into another breakdown.

The first thing you need to do is get your anaemia sorted out, so that you start to feel better.
Then tell DH that he needs to get on with recruiting a secretary, a recruitment agency will be able to organise that.

Advertise for someone to deal with the dogs and ponies. When does he work these working Cockers?

I think if he really cared about you, he would not be putting all of the work of family, dogs etc on you as well as you working in his business. If you really don't want to do this any more, only you can bring about change. Do you want to leave? You need to get legal advice and see where you stand financially in the first instance.

He’s a shit business man, he takes on more work than the people working for his companies have capacity for, and has no back up or contingency in place for when they leave or are sick. What would be supposed to happen if you were both in an accident tomorrow?