Whenever I get a rare hour to myself and start doing something I genuinely enjoy (reading, painting my nails, watching something just for me), my husband suddenly decides that now is the time for “a quick chat”.
It’s never urgent. It’s not a crisis. It’s just commentary — something he’s read, something he’s thinking about, or a “have you got a minute?” that somehow turns into 20.
If I say I’m in the middle of something, he looks a bit wounded and says he just wanted to talk to me, which then makes me feel unreasonable for wanting to finish what I’m doing.
If I don’t stop and engage, he later tells me I was being “distant” or “snappy”, even though I’d said at the time I was busy and would talk later.
What bothers me isn’t the talking — it’s the assumption that whatever I’m doing is automatically less important and should be paused. Especially as I would never interrupt him when he’s absorbed in something unless it really mattered.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is a boundaries/respect issue rather than just me being antisocial? Or is this just normal couple stuff and I need to relax?