To choose aeroplane seats that a family might need?

Don't overthink it. Book/Reserve what you need. First come first served. But bear in mind you can't have everything perfectly meeting your wishes.

Is the aircraft an Airbus A350 or a Boeing 787?

If it's the latter, then nine-abreast in economy is going to be the long haul flight from hell anyway if you are any wider than a Smurf.

Not sure of the aircraft type but I suspect the grey block just marks a zone divider or bulkhead..the gap is possibly a bit tight for people to use it as a routine cross aisle, but yep, it might be an issue on some flights.

Someone suggested booking 30A/B but those could well be adjacent to an emergency exit so any declared mobility restrictions might mean the OP can't book them.

Cut to the chase...if the OP needs the "good" seats they shouldn't feel guility about booking them.

I have spoken to British Airways and they have arranged extra legroom seats for me which is great and I am very grateful to them for this.

For free?

Don't ask us, ask your dh! If he wants more room because of his height book the 3 seats. If he's happy with a standard seat book the other one

Stay where you are. You might get a family try and be cheeky and request them but stay firm and say no.

Airline I used to work for you had to pay extra for bulkhead seats. I would often get CF passengers asking me to go over and move the people who had paid for the seats and I would tell them they did not have to move, they were welcome to go over and ask them themselves but it was the passengers discretion.

One CF in particular offloaded himself and his 3 wives off an overbooked flight because he didn’t want them sitting next to other men. 🙃Que a long delay and a security search had to be done.

I would never put my babies in a bulkhead bassinet. Never get cleaned and not very safe at all. I once had an passenger arguing with me because I wouldn’t let her put her 3 year old in one.

Is that 'the wall' - I flew BA a few years ago to the States and I booked that seat. There were 2 kids and a mum beside me - but I felt absolutely no guilt because I wasn't doing a long haul cramped. You keep your seats, the airline will accomodoate the baby if needs be.

If the bassinet is not being used people will definitely use that space to walk and cross to the aisle.

Why on earth are they accommodating your whole family in "special" seats though? You should have the seat you need and your DH should sit with your son somewhere else. That's what we do. What if another disabled person needs one of those seats? But hey as long as you all get to sit together and feel like you got an upgrade without paying for the legroom your other family members want, who cares, right?

I don’t understandings OP at all can’t you just pay for extra legroom seats if they are available?

What is the issue if they are available and you can pay?

Pay extra for DH too as he is 6ft 4!

As stated here, this is exactly what happens. We have just been on this plane and they had to do an announcement to tell people to stop doing it. They still were as I was in the seat behind. The family ended up creating a barrier with a blanket!
Would your DS/DH be happy in the seat behind you? I would recommend seats 30A/B or the same on the other side.

Plane seats are pretty much first come first served - you pay for what you want at the price you can afford. You don’t worry about what other people might be doing .
You do sound rather over precious though - the airline has accommodated you as far as they can .. now you might feel “exposed” . I’m sure many people have varied needs physical and mental when flying but most people accept that if you want to go somewhere you have to accept the discomfort for a few hours or you pay up for business class !

book whatever seats you will be most comfortable in. If other people with babies need specific seats, its up to them to sort it.

however, after many long-haul flights, I find the bulkhead seats feel like they have less leg room than regular seats. There is more space for your knees (no seat in front) which is good for DH with long thigh bones. But the bulkhead stops you stretching your toes all the way out in front of you. Normally, I can stretch my feet quite a long way under the seat in front, and in the bulkhead seats I can't. So as a 'average height' person, I always book a regular seat for the most comfort.

Sit where you like. You're not doing anything wrong to do so. Your needs are your needs. No need for the overthinking

I understand you might feel awkward but please don't. It is a necessary accommodation. Enjoy your holiday!

Why don’t you just pay for d/e/f so you can all have leg room?

What is the problem? Extra legroom! You have been accommodated. Both ways !!!!

Your DH being 6 ft 4 has nothing to do with it!

I get the impression from your OP ( even though you veil it in a modicum of contrition) that you want to manipulate the seating even further to accommodate your DH!

I always book (and pay for) those seats... never occurred to me to stuff myself into a less desirable seat in case a family wants what I have booked.

Literally saw a TikTok about this yesterday. I think people walk in that gap to cut across. There was a woman with a bassinet and she had to tell people to stop cutting though but who wants to have to do that? Not me. Sorry if I’ve misunderstood. I also wouldn’t worry about families, I’m one of those with small kids (one with disabilities) but don’t begrudge someone else something that they claimed first or paid for, that’s on me to sort / pay for / be quick with

I have spoken to British Airways and they have arranged extra legroom seats for me which is great and I am very grateful to them for this.

but will I feel too exposed to be able to sleep? And from experience people will walk into me/kick my legs/stand in that space.

Make your mind up, are you grateful or not?!

My mum is disabled, she would be very happy with those seats.

Is this a serious question? You're not less important than "families" (which do not have to include children to be families).

It isn’t a bit where people will stand in. It’s the front of the small economy (WT) cabin immediately behind the small WTP cabin so the only people moving around will be BA staff and any WTP travellers heading to the toilet at the back of the OP’s cabin. So if they need to stand, they’ll do this at the back of OP’s cabin rather than the front. It’s actually a nice relatively quiet little spot the OP has been given.

People shouldn't be able to walk in front of the bulkhead seats so don't worry about that.
The mains drawback is the arm rests are usually fixed and contain the tray tables, so seats are a bit narrower than standard seats.

Take whatever seats you need for your comfort.

I've travelled with baby and the bassinet is next to useless for anything other than additional storage (& this is a common view in travelling with baby forums). It can't be used when baby is awake. Baby can't be in if it the seatbelt sign is on. It is much easier to just have baby asleep on you so you don't disturb them if the seatbelt sign comes on.

Or if you want a special seat for your DH, you (as a family I mean) could pay for one?

You don’t have to sit all in a row either - there’s nothing wrong with choosing either side of an aisle if you both want (in his case) or need (in your case) the extra room.