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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family holiday when pregnant

37 replies

MamaPlantlove · 06/01/2026 13:55

AIBU to not want to go on a family holiday with 2 kids when I’ll be 7 months pregnant??

DH is getting arsey that I’m not thrilled at his suggestion of doing an abroad holiday with our 2.5 year old son and his 10 year old daughter. I’ll be around 7 months pregnant at the time he’s suggesting it (needs to be in the school holidays).

As much as DH says he’ll plan it…..the prep and planning will fall on me. I KNOW that I’ll be the one dealing with a rowdy toddler at airports, transfers, flights etc because the responsibility naturally falls into me&toddler and DH&stepdaughter.

DH thinks a holiday would be entirely sunshine and rainbows. I’m visualising running after the toddler around a slippery pool while I’m the size of a beach ball, sweating like a pig and feeling gross in swimwear. Pregnancy with toddler was fine health wise but I felt NOTHING like myself and I know how I’ll feel time around but with added stress of another child.

I have suggested to him that we do a centerparks/haven or similar instead but he’s adamant he wants a “proper holiday with the kids” before new baby arrives.

HELP am I being unreasonable xx

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaPlantlove · 06/01/2026 14:21

MostlyHappyMummy · 06/01/2026 14:17

I would either:

  • Suggest he goes with older 2. Don't book or plan anything to do with holiday.
  • say no
  • don't book or plan anything - will he do anything, so will holiday even happen?
He sounds lazy (going on you saying you'd have to do all planning and running around after toddler) and selfish (ignoring that you'll be heavily pregnant)

Haha funnily enough I did suggest he goes with the kids and I have a relaxing time at my parents… shockingly that idea didn’t take off 🧐

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaPlantlove · 06/01/2026 14:19

Onlyontuesday · 06/01/2026 14:15

You could suggest a cheap(ish) week in a caravan and then once baby is here in October half term/Xmas/February have your 'main' holiday then?

I do think it's a bit unfair on the 10yo for her to miss a holiday. I think state your boundaries now.. but actually stick to them. Tell him he needs to do the booking legwork and don't step in. Tell him if you go you won't be managing airport tantrums etc, and be prepared to step back and wait for him to take a lead.

The 10yo dos have multiple holidays with her mum every year, essentially we’d be working around her existing holiday schedule, she ain’t missing out😅 we’ve only ever done caravan/staycation holidays as a family so I think that’s the best idea. And can still be a lovely holiday!

OP posts:
MostlyHappyMummy · 06/01/2026 14:17

I would either:

  • Suggest he goes with older 2. Don't book or plan anything to do with holiday.
  • say no
  • don't book or plan anything - will he do anything, so will holiday even happen?
He sounds lazy (going on you saying you'd have to do all planning and running around after toddler) and selfish (ignoring that you'll be heavily pregnant)
Original poster
MamaPlantlove · 06/01/2026 14:16

Whyarepeople · 06/01/2026 14:09

I think you're right to be concerned. I may be reading too much into it but in your shoes it would bother me that DH wasn't listening to the issues and just assuming everything will be fine. I think you need to be clear with him that you're not going to be railroaded, it's not a good idea and it's not happening.

Oh it bothers me that I feel he’s minimising my concerns when literally carrying his child, absolutely. He’s very easy going compared to me, very much like “it’s a lovely relaxing family holiday🙂” while I’m seeing exactlyyy what it would really be like.

OP posts:
Onlyontuesday · 06/01/2026 14:15

You could suggest a cheap(ish) week in a caravan and then once baby is here in October half term/Xmas/February have your 'main' holiday then?

I do think it's a bit unfair on the 10yo for her to miss a holiday. I think state your boundaries now.. but actually stick to them. Tell him he needs to do the booking legwork and don't step in. Tell him if you go you won't be managing airport tantrums etc, and be prepared to step back and wait for him to take a lead.

Shittyyear2025 · 06/01/2026 14:15

Yeah, you're probably not going to be able to fly in your 7th month. That'll stop him moaning.

OnlyAfterwards · 06/01/2026 14:14

You don't have to come up with reasons. You don't want to, so don't.

Lennonjingles · 06/01/2026 14:12

Certain airlines won’t take you after 26 pregnant on your return, not the date you go. Personally I wouldn’t have wanted to go at 7 months, I couldn’t walk too far, so the thought of getting to the airport and walking to the departure gate would be beyond my limit.

Whyarepeople · 06/01/2026 14:09

I think you're right to be concerned. I may be reading too much into it but in your shoes it would bother me that DH wasn't listening to the issues and just assuming everything will be fine. I think you need to be clear with him that you're not going to be railroaded, it's not a good idea and it's not happening.

Maray1967 · 06/01/2026 14:09

Just say no. I wouldn’t have gone on a holiday like that at 7 months when I knew I’d have to parent the toddler while he deals with a ten year old. Not a chance.

Original poster
MamaPlantlove · 06/01/2026 14:04

Whyarepeople · 06/01/2026 13:57

YANBU. Is it possible to go at an earlier stage? Even then I wouldn't be keen but it could be a compromise. If not, then going it's a definite no to going on planes etc at 7 months pregnant.

That’s the only time we COULD realistically go before babies due. Working around stepdaughters school holidays and a holiday she’s already got booked with her mum.
Even going during 2nd trimester I’d be wary and it stresses me out to be planning something so far in advance with no idea how this pregnancy is going to pan out

OP posts:
Whyarepeople · 06/01/2026 13:57

YANBU. Is it possible to go at an earlier stage? Even then I wouldn't be keen but it could be a compromise. If not, then going it's a definite no to going on planes etc at 7 months pregnant.