Dd17 holiday been turned down from work

OP, I’m sorry that your daughter can’t come on holiday with you. This is going to be our first year without one adult child. One of the kids has an internship so can’t come away, as timings won’t work around the other one’s exams.

It may be a shock to some here, but I have 21 and 22-year-olds who love coming on holiday with us. We all like each other, and they aren’t going to turn down a week or two away! We also pay for them, even though they are working adults; this might shock those who believe at 18 your children should be kicked out never to be seen again ;-)

OP we are just seeing it as a year without a family holiday and we will hopefully make up for it next year. We will do some mini breaks instead.

Try not to let it overwhelm you. Life changes and routines change. It must be extra hard if you are autistic of course.

Read the thread ... she's had October rejected.

I would have thought the fact that she put her requests in asap shows she knew it would be difficult.

If she has has one out of three school holiday requests granted then she would only know if that is unfair by knowing what other were given?

It’s beginning to sound as though she may just be telling you she can’t get the leave. It seems highly coincidental that all the holiday has been declined except the one with her friend..

Can she ask why and note that almost all of her holidays have been denied? I'd suggest she speak to her manaher and explain the sitiation and see what they day. It could be they are prioritising people with kids to have those dates off as they need school holiday dates, so if she explains that she also needs school holiday dates that may help with getting one of them approved perhaps.

I would understand if there was one specific week blocked but three different ones feels unfair - but guess it depends on the nature of her job and what others are doing.

Ha, good point! I should have been clearer, I wondered if she might work in some kind of child care/SEN provision.

I couldn't imagine going on holiday with my parents at 18. Not that I was invited.
Your DD has a steady full time job, she's not a child anymore, welcome to the grown ip world

Do you depend on her for emotional regulation?

MN posters are truly ridiculous with their questions sometimes!

So it opened at 1am and she requested at 1:30am.

Sounds like she was 29minutes too late depending on how many staff asked at the same time or if they have any rules regarding holiday policy for longer standing employees and such.

she put in what three requests and got granted one. The first one of the year technically.

Unless you or rather she knows how they allocate leave then there is no answer anyone can give.

1st come. She was too slow to those who know that it’s like.

Joint time applied. They might cross reference the application and see right these four employees overlap dates. So we need to give each one, one date and gave the first actual date/drew straws or name in a hat.

A reward for 5 years service meaning your slot opens 11:30pm the night before so you get at least one week promised and 20 staff members have that and they made sure every week was August so they got at least one. Who knows.

I would ask her to check that there are no weeks at all during the summer and to find out how these are shared, as to me it would seem unfair if you have one member of staff taking 3 weeks off during this time meaning one person can't take any leave at all, especially if she handed in her request early.

I would also check though that they allow time off in that month. My husband's work don't allow his department time off in September. Is there any possibility she has got it wrong and the reason there isn't any availablity that time is because it's blocked off for everyone?

It doesn't sound like they are being completely unfair and not letting her have school holidays weeks as you do say she has May half term off so it could be argued if there are a lot of staff members that she had May half term and then six other members had one week each over the summer.
My husband's work also only allow one person off at a time, so this might fit in with why she can't get the time off.

Edited to add, sorry I wrongly read it as she was given May half term, not that she also wasn't given that one.
I would definitely be asking the manager about the arrangements for school holidays times and why none of her requests during this time have been authorised.

I assume probably not otherwise she'd be off for the school holidays?

Seems like the kind of workplace where there has to be a certain level of cover at all times (similar to when I worked in retail - needed a certain number of staff present to actually be able to open the store) and she has been placed as lowest priority for school holiday times because she isn't a parent.

Seems very unfair that she put her requests in at the same time as everyone else but hasn't been given even one within the school holidays.

Having to get leave authorised is one of the big drawbacks of the working life. Your daughter just happens to have joined that world a little earlier than most. It's unlikely that, in any given year, she will get all the dates she applies for,

Best plan is to find another job and tell them sge has ore-booked holidays. Resign current job then.

Depends what her job is. Is she a teaching assistant, for example?

Are you sure she's been turned down for all family holiday dates but not for the friend one . Maybe she's being kind and doesn't want to go with the family any more .

She's been denied every single request in school holidays though, despite requesting the dates as soon as possible?

Seems very unfair, and likely that she has not got them due to not having children, even though she still has a family herself who she wants to spend time with.

I'd be looking to leave this workplace asap.

Seriously op, did you expect her to always be able /want to go on holiday with you once she reached adulthood? You need to let her go and treat her like an adult.

The job market for young people is hugely more difficult than it was 10, 20 or even 30 years ago. Our middle grandson (23) was made redundant in May from the job he is fully qualified for because of market downturn. It has taken him nearly 8 months to find another, despite multiple applications and a good number of interviews. OP's daughter would be mad to leave her first job until she has some proper experience to show future employers.

She’s an adult with a FT job. Same as the rest of us who work - some of our leave requests are authorised and some aren’t because there’s no availability.
I get you’re sad and disappointed but this is how it is when people work.
Can you rearrange the holidays to when she can have some leave?

I actually cannot believe what I’m reading 😂. When I worked for a company, my “request” for work was me giving them notice I’d be off. There’s no way in hell I wouldn’t be taking the time regardless of what they said.

shes 17 ffs. Tell her to either call in and self cert, or get signed off with anxiety for a few weeks and go on the holiday. Either that or just find another job. What the actual hell? 😂

I can see why you are upset OP. My family set up is similar to yours. This year is the first year my dd is working also. I don’t think my dd will be allowed time off during summer holidays as many of the people she works with with have children and will need time off to share child care (which is kind of fair).

Your dd has been given time off for one of her requests. It sounds like you go in holidays often? Dd has been lucky that growing up she has been able to experience going away with you. I would still love to be able to take my daughter away with me also, my dd has ASD and doesn’t really have friends to go away with. We have a holiday once a year (in the uk) and possibly one festival a year, I know this year dd may not be able to come unless it’s out of school holiday dates. Luckily my other dd finishes college a couple weeks before schools break up so we will go away then but it will probably be a Friday-Monday so dd only needs to book 2 days off work.

My dd will only likely put in for one holiday this year. If it’s their first year working I think I think it’s more likely to be turned down.

I’d feel the same op. I work in a shop and last year couldn’t get holidays off. Whole family missed out. It really sucks!

She has not been denied every single request.

The dates for her holiday with her friend have been granted.

That's really tough and if others have had their leave agreed, not a lot can be done unless someone will swap with your daughter.
It may be worth her having a conversation with her manager, explain the situation and to ask if there is a way of making this fair for everyone in future years.
Our team, put their requests for leave during school holidays in at the same time. They ask for all of the days they would like and mark 2 of their weeks as their highest priority. Our manager then reviews all of the requests together, agrees the priority weeks first and then tries to be as fair as possible with the other requests, with a bit of negotiation between team members, most people are generally happy.