Dd17 holiday been turned down from work

Are you saying he would leave his job and let the rest of the team down if a holiday request was refused??
Even if it's only 9 hours a week he still needs to understand and appreciate the responsibility of having job.

Why are you making extreme comments about people's family relationships? Unless you've had a complicated relationship with a family member that has deep seated issues, I'd keep yourself quiet on it. If you find websites with forums for people who have relatives with such as borderline personality disorder, you'll understand what people go through. Maybe consider having respect for people who go no or low contact because they've had a child hood of being beaten black and blue or sexually abused! Your comment is a disgrace and uncalled for!

I'm saying it probably feels a bit embarrassing to have to go to work and ask for the most awkward times off because your mum wants you to go on holiday in the school holidays with her!

If this was ds1 (also almost 18) then to be honest he's probably just call in sick and/or tell them to like it or lump it.

But he's doing A Levels atm and his job is 9 hours a week in a cafe. He works hard when he's there, enjoys the pocket money but he would absolutely not prioritise it over a holiday! He'd just get another pub/shop/cafe job instead.

If this is your DD's 'proper' FT job though there's really not much you can do other than change dates or go without her.

I'd start by trying to be as flexible as you can and seeing if you can find out what dates she could actually book.

theres literally not one week avaible from the start of July until start of September, so we are not able to book a summer holiday with her.

she’s asked for October half term off as we were going to go America for the first time but that hasn’t been accepted either.

she asked for a few days during Easter and again, that has been turned down.

there isn’t any other school holidays that she can book off.

I don't think her employer sounds reasonable rejecting so many requests. She should query this. By law they have to allow her to take her statutory holiday (5.6 weeks)... is there actually any time when she CAN take leave?!

Oh womp womp 😂

I couldn’t care less, truly.

Embarrassing? WTF? Why would a 17 yo wanting to go for some family holiday be embarrassing?

Not everyone hates their family and goes low contact at the first opportunity.

A 17 yo could easily be good mate with her 15 yo sibling. Or, she might be even helping with childcare in her family.
We don't know whether it was booked up before she submitted it, or whether someone decided she doesn't deserve it.

I just see so many posters suggesting she just quietly accepts it, I'm suggesting to at least ask and advocate for herself.

It's fine to feel hormonally emotional and useful to acknowledge it. The OP is sad about her daughter not holidaying with the family. After 18 years of a child being central to your world, their reaching adulthood is an extraordinary reality shift, expected or not. I felt so bereft I wanted to go to bed and weep forever when I became an empty nester. Realising peri-menopausal hormones were compounding my emotions, was very helpful. And then life moves on and the next phase of the relationship becomes normal.

It’s full time, she qualified last year, 8am -5pm Monday to fridayb

I did. There’s not a thing they can do about it. The trick is to get signed off with anxiety or stress then a holiday is the perfect thing to help 👌 that means you can relax knowing you can post on social media. So not I’m not a bit dumb. I always did this and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d leave my job before I had leave dictated to me.

My 26 year old daughter still comes away….

What did you expect to happen when she was an adult? She works, so has restrictions. You have to start coming to terms with the fact that she is grown up now.

Can I ask why you said you are hormonal and emotional? Is it because you’re a woman? Because when a man is upset about something, he doesn’t say it’s because he is hormonal. Why are you continuing that nonsense? You can just be upset without saying it’s hormones… our feelings are real, normal feelings. We aren’t all slaves to hormones and it’s stupid thing to say.

She's nearly 18. She probably won't be going on holiday with you much longer so you have to adjust to that idea.

The problem is you get enough people off as it is during school holidays, companies can't sustain non parents wanting to be off at the same time. You've got be practical about it and for this young woman it's better for her to have the ability to travel outside of school holidays as it gives her far better prices for going away with her mates. It's unfair of her mother to put her in a position where she is expected to compete with colleagues who are parents for time off in the school holidays.

Are you a bit dumb? You ask for leave and get it knocked back and magically get ill on the same dates! You think the employerr wouldn't see through that! And you think you could pull that stunt time and again?

Wow.

Thats a shocking attitude to have.

When you sign a contract, you understand AND AGREE that sometimes (in the care industry for example) you might not get the time off to want because of business needs.

YOU DONT book a holiday until you have chosen what week you want off and it has been approved…. only time that’s different, is if you start a new job and already have a holiday booked.

This is really bad advice and sets a precedent that is “okay” to lie to your employer. It’s not and if they’re found out, it’s gross misconduct and can result in dismissal.

But child free adults aren't usually going on holiday with mummy and being asked to cater for mummy's young school child. What's stopping mum from paying the fines to take the youngest out of school rather than putting her daughter in an embarrassing position at work.
Where did you draw the line in terms of staff resource and how much strain you put on the rest of the staff! You might be "all about me" but a company can't think like that, they have to think about the company and remaining staff being able to function. If it's booked up, it's booked up! They aren't refusing for the fun of it, there's obviously lots of staff already booked off across all the school holidays.

Yes. One not term-time, and zero from those that would allow her to spend time with her family- woth no alternative which would allow her the same available.

Parents aren't the only one with families.

I still don't see an issue - she doesn't ask for whole school holidays. She didn't get even one week to spend it with her school-aged family members. It's not an unreasonable ask and a good employer would be fine with that.
Yes, she isn't a mother - and so what? Parents aren't the only one who have a family.