Dd17 holiday been turned down from work

God what a way to live. Why are some companies so shit to work for.

I'm not being negative. I'm pointing out that dd is now an adult in an adult working environment. These are the realities of adult working. DD can either 1) accept it 2) have a polite and professional discussion with her management about annual leave allocation or 3) leave her job. If I was her mum I would be encouraging her to not factor my emotional booboos into this decison making as hard as this might be. She should be starting to carve out her own life now and advocate for herself (which might also mean advocating for herself against an overbaring parent...) Fantastic if she still can and will go on the family holday but chances are it's no longer a priority

No it isn’t! It is not ok. And it would absolutely not be an employer I would be willing to sacrifice my time for. It works both ways.
Having children is not a free pass to ride roughshod over everyone else and parents would do well to remember that. After all they may well be the ones in the OP’s shoes in years to come.

Honestly I think they’re bullying her and taking advantage as she’s young and they don’t think she’ll fight back.

I’d recommend she start looking for another job this one doesn’t sound like somewhere she would want to be long term.

who goes away in Febuary away?

Plenty of people do but I would also say someone who wants their teenage DD to go on holiday with them after having all other times declined

Unpaid leave ? X

You don't have to 'hate' your family at 18 to no longer want to go on holiday with them.

What a black and white (histrionic) way of thinking.

Was she late getting her request in? I think she should push back on at least one of those holidays or look for a new job. It isn't her responsibility to balance staff availability so that people with school age children get preferential treatment.

I wonder if she perhaps wants to stay at home and not join the holidays and felt a bit mean letting you down on the bookings.

It's discrimination based on need, which is perfectly fair.

As it's a UK holiday, could you book it so it includes the August bank holiday, so she could join you for a long weekend?

The only holiday approved are the term time ones planned with friends.

Not every 18 years old hate their family.

I'm guessing there are a lot of parents with young children at her work who also want those times off, and tbh, they take priority since their kids won't be at school and need caretaking.

That's how it goes. I haven't had a holiday with both my kids together for many years now. It's sad, but the wheel of life's seasons keeps moving on.

Why so negative? OP had already said that her daughter wants to come. Not all 17 year olds are keen to escape family holiday.
Presumably she's new to this job and more established colleagues had already bagged the school holidays. There's no need to be so unpleasant. The girl is still learning the ropes.

Did the leave window open for everyone on 1 Jan or did some people have priority/leave already booked in? Can she join you for a weekend/possibly extend to a long weekend in Cornwall? It sounds shit for her to be unable to book any leave weeks to spend with her family if that is what she wants to do. Presumably it is equally shit for anyone else who wants to take leave over the school holidays - those with school aged DC or partners who are teachers. Have her colleagues found any ways around this for the future? Can she appeal the October half term refusal?

Can she not come down to join you for the weekends? Maybe she could ask for a Friday or Monday off? I get being upset that she can't get the whole time off but it's just how it is when you're working, especially when young and working with parents who can only go away during the school holidays.

Has she explained to her employer why she has asked for school holidays?

It sounds like people may have already pre-booked their holidays before the 1st January, is she sure that is the earliest she could book?

You'd be surprised, lots of people go skiing in February.

Oh no that is so shit OP. Does she know why it was all turned down? How does she feel about it?

I think you still should take the others away, presumably as she's older she's been on more holidays than them over the years and who knows, they might not be able to go away when they're her age either.

Could you do a couple of weekends away with her, maybe one in June and one in September or something?

Having children should absolutely not prioritise you for holiday choices. You chose to have them it’s not everyone else’s job to suffer as a result! God the entitlement of parents!

If I was her I would be asking why none of my requests had been accepted and if no solution could be reached I would be moving jobs. It’s shit the way some employers behave

Im currently in the same life phase OP and it does come as a bit of a shock - not sure why some posters are being snippy. It’s a sign that you love your daughter and like spending time with her and it’s the end of an era.

what I’ve done is book a couple of long weekends over the year within an hour away one in a cabin with a hot tub and one caravan but with extra bedroom by the beach so that hopefully my older 2 can come along for the weekend even if it’s after work on the Friday and then can go back Sunday evening. Plus with the extra room they can bring their BF/GF or a friend.

They still enjoy my company but would they sacrifice a weeks holiday for somewhere they don’t want to go? I’m not sure anymore.

Let’s start with the basics - you absolutely definitely take at least one of your usual holidays with your other dc, they still count and it’s not their fault their big sister is older and has a job. So book that in, then talk to your oldest dd about how she feels and what she wants. Encourage her to see if there’s other leave time she can take and spend doing something she likes, it’s her first year of work and lots to adjust to. Not being able to take your traditional family holidays seems quite common for first year employed if she’s in a competitive industry, you’re supposed to be busy proving yourself, plus they probably prioritise proven staff and parents for the school holidays.

All these are going to be high demand times, unfortunately. A lot of people without kids also go for winter sun deals in Feb, as it's cheaper than over Christmas/New Year. Parents can also take up to 4 weeks unpaid leave a year on top of their annual leave allowance, some parents in my place in non patient facing roles take the entire summer holidays off and those without children or like me who have older ones have to cover long periods of short staffing. It sucks, but I have to remember, I benefited from more flexibility when mine were wee. I don't know what line of work your DD is in, but in mine (healthcare) there are minimum cover requirements and they can only allow a certain number of people to be off at a time.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this before you were ready to do summer holidays without your eldest, it likely will feel disappointing if you weren't expecting it.

Perhaps she could make the case to her employers that if she's had to work all the school holidays this year, she could have priority for time off next year to go away with her family?

I don't know the op is mentioning holidays i assumed plural, and then she might want to keep some holidays for herself but saying to her mun that A L was refused.

Week in Cornwall are you there over a weekend? She could work through her lunch on the Friday, leaving at 4 and start the drive down surely? Depending on where you are in the country she might be able to get a train and someone pick her late evening from the station. She then gets all Saturday with you and leaves mid afternoon on the Sunday. Obviously if you live in the North this wouldn't work.

That’s adulting for her.