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Husband RANT. Help!

133 replies

hanste123 · 06/01/2026 10:38

Disastrous morning. Something has to change. It is damaging and unhealthy, but I don't know what to do.

USUALLY: i get up first to get myself ready and do school drinks (while kettle is boiling). i wake husband with a cuppa so that he can wake up and get kids ready (I really would wish he would set his alarm, but sometimes that doesn't wake him). He has just started getting involved with the morning school routine (after 6 years of doing it on my own). He gets kids up, gives them breakfast, makes snacks for school and feed dogs (but forgets their medication). Then goes back to bed, I assume to 'wake up'. Once kids have had breakfast I take over, I oversee them getting dressed, teeth and I do their hair (2 girls), whilst finishing getting ready myself. One daughter I suspect is ADHD and really needs a lot of overseeing getting ready. Literally promt every item of clothing and making sure she isn't reading/playing instead. The other daughter sometimes needs physically dressing if tired, but usually she's very good at getting herself ready. Then when it's time to get all their stuff together, put drinks and snacks in bags, get my stuff together, lint roller the kids because we have dogs and get in the car. That busy 10 mins of Chaos is when my husband decides to have a shower. Despite me asking him not to get ready at the last possible minute and to be available to help get kids and stuff in car. and half the time we are waiting for him. I am certain he also has ADHD (which he denies/doesn't believe in) so he is 'time optimistic'. I might be autistic, or at least learnt to live like an autistic person as most of my family is autistic. So my husband and I clash. He likes to be free flowing and relaxed, and I need routine. My approach gets us ready on time and causes him stress (and me stress because I have to nag him). His approach causes me stress because we are late and disorganised. I can't win.

this morning was horrific. He was up late with pain in an injury he won't see a dr about. Not a bad injury but one that probably needs physio and strong pain killers. But still went to golf last night. Regardless, I still expect him to preform if he says he is goin to, much like I have to everyday since the kids were born as I have had no one to lean on or rely on. I still have to get up early and get everything done even when I've had 2 hours sleep due to pain, because I can't trust him tk step up.

so he was up late, i woke him 4 times. (I refused to take over waking the kids because that is a slippery slope to going back to me doing it all). he then got the kids up late. In fact i had to help get the kids up because we were so late and got one of the kids breakfast as the other was still in bed. He'd been 'unable' to get her up.... I was then running late, we were all running late, he went back to bed. He said he wasn't going into work that morning, so I said great, you can be a bit more 'hands on' then in overseeing the kids (instead of shouting 'are you getting dressed' from his bed). The ADHD Child needs someone physically checking on her every 2 mins. What he did instead was to get the ADHD child in bed with him for a cuddle and a chat (a chat I'd already had with her). That felt self indulgent, he liked the cuddle and didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted / needed him to get out of bed and help her actually get ready, not enable her to chill out when we were already behind. I tried to communicate with him what needed to be done and what I needed him to do (based on experience!) I feel that was reasonable and understandable but he doesn't like to be told what to do (demand avoidance I think. And I'm autistic so I'm direct and blunt). He has no emotional regulation and so he just starts telling me to chill out like I'm the one in the wrong for picking up his slack, and then just insults me, until we are arguing and I am insulting him back (not proud of that, but I do feel there is only so much I can take, and I cannot have him insult me and not stick up for myself. Do I teach my girls to accept that behaviour for themselves in the future?). It was horrible horrible morning. Horrible for the kids. I don't know how to be any different, and I don't know if he can be either. Feel like we are ruining our kids lives, feel like stepping into traffic and just leaving them because I hate to think I am hurting them. But doing that would also hurt them.

the history is that my husband has always been shit or minimal at helping with the morning or bedtime routine. Maybe because the ADHD makes him hate routine and always look for fun and have 'time blindness'. Which means I never get to have fun, do all the work, have all the fall out because of the lack of routine. And live a life where I can foresee failure in which he will run headlong into because we need to 'chill out'. He does bring the fun into their lives, there's just no room for fun in mine because of it. I do need to chill out more, but how can I when I find him so stressful, that I have to fight against him, that I have to do more because I cannot rely on him/pick up his slack. How can I chill out when I am plainly asking for help and he just lies in bed, thinking he knows best and doesn't listen. Needless to say we were late, and I was crying all the way into school at the nastiness, stress and helplessness of it. Feel like I am attacked for trying to do what is needed for the family, for trying to get him to do what is needed. What is the solution? I start getting up even earlier and go back to doing it all myself so I don't get the stress or the attacks. And then be bitter and resentful. And be too tired in the evenings to be a wife to him?

It has caused alot of bitterness and resentment in the past. Therefore, on and off last year he was better (but on and off isn't reliable, I can't work with that) and since September he has really good. Just today I think, has been horrific, but not unusual.

I need him to 'woman up'. To just do what is needed like a mum does. Get up even though you don't want to, because that is what your family needs. Do what is needed! I need a team mate I can rely on and share the load. K

PS It might sound harsh for me not to allow him slack because he's not sleeping due to pain. But that pain isn't stopping him in any other area of life and he is doing nothing about it. And I'm still expected to do it all if I have no sleep due to pain or kids, or if I'm ill. I'm holding him to the standards u HAVE to live by.

And also, he does often like to give excuses as to why he can't get up to help, much like a child would. And then miraculously that illness that prevented him from getting up, has gone for the rest of the day. He's just sick of mornings. But I doubt he is as sick of it as I am.

what the hell should I do?

OP posts:
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Staringintothevoid616 · 09/01/2026 15:29

If he does have adhd, bossing him around to work you your schedule is probably extraordinarily stressful to him, telling him to do something will probably stop him doing it.

You would drive me bonkers, tbh I have up less than half way through your post.

Both me and my son have adhd, we will sit around for ever in the morning then suddenly leap up, shower and get ready in the last 10 min. My DH gets ready slowly. He thinks we look stressed out, but actually doing it this way is calm for us, adrenaline is our motivator. Trying to get easy without the adrenaline rush, is painful, stressful and disorientating as there seems no point. time blindness manifests in many ways for me the future and past don’t really exist, proximity or remoteness of events are impossible to grasp.

I suggest you need to both do things at your own pace, he’s prob running back to bed to avoid the stress you’re causing him. I know you don’t do this on purpose, it’s just a clash of world views.

Cab he be in charge of your ADHD daughter?? Just keep out and let them get on with it. You will prob think it all looks rushed and stressful. I often sit there in the morning watching You tube etc

alternating days might work so you can do them in your own style.

Givemeausernamepls · 09/01/2026 15:13

Similar to pp I would ignore him in the mornings. I would also split the morning so one person does the whole morning from start to finish including making DC to school. If be happy to do 3 and have 2 off. The important thing on your off day is to remove yourself… go to work early, for a walk / gym / coffee so you don’t get dragged into bailing in out / stressed out by him!

For your child with ADHD, it is important to in-still good morning habits. We have a strict no phones / tv etc policy. When they were younger they had to be completely ready before they could get brekkie (teeth brushed, shoes on!) one of mine suspected ADHD and ASD is militant in the morning and the other ADHD is mr happy go lucky, but since going secondary hates forgetting stuff.

id recommend a visual check list for your DD, you still need to give verbal prompts etc. I remember when mine were at primary if we weren’t down by 8:10 someone was eating a piece of toast on the way to school!

Your ADHD child won’t necessarily want to live with her Dad if you separate. Kids like predictability, support and routines. My exDP is ADD and he’s chaotic…

Gioia1 · 09/01/2026 14:02

The parent/child dynamic you’ve got into will be deadly in the longer term.

So accurate. It’s not uncommon for relationship where one partner has ADHD to have this dynamic.

Contempt steps, you loose attraction, then it’s is just a slippery slop from there to the end.

Comtesse · 09/01/2026 13:24

My DH is shocking in the morning - I do the necessary and leave him out of it as much as possible. No teas in bed, hustling him along, unless we have a plane to catch. He is good at late night stuff though when I crash out, so I think this is ok. It does work better when one person is on mornings - doubling up can be more chaotic and shouty.

Also - If we worked together it would be disastrous for our marriage. Like 100% terminal.

I think you should work independently, particularly if you might earn more. The parent/child dynamic you’ve got into will be deadly in the longer term.

Ihaveoflate · 09/01/2026 12:26

OP, my husband is very similar to yours (though not as bad!) right down to owning his own business because he just couldn't go back to working for someone else.

The way I deal with it is much like @Plankton89 - I just tell him when we're leaving and that's it. I just don't involve myself anymore or comment on any part of his (non existent) routine. I get our daughter to school three days a week and on the days when he does the school run, I still get my daughter ready because it's just better for my own blood pressure!

I would recommend just being really boundaried and letting him get on with it. I would also leave the business and get a job elsewhere. If I had to work with my DH, we would either be divorced or one of us would be in prison for manslaughter.

DelphiniumBlue · 08/01/2026 23:35

If you want him to be responsible for the mornings, or at least some of them, take yourself out of the equation- book an early gym / swim session or something, but let him deal with getting the kids ready and out without you picking up the slack/ telling him what to do and how to do it. Let him mess up if that’s what it takes.
Or you do the mornings but let him take on evening responsibilities. Again, take yourself out.
I think I’d be tempted to get myself a different job so that your lives have some separation.
If both your DDs are at school, they can get themselves dressed . If he wants to lie in bed shouting instructions at them, and then be late, let him do that. But don’t be in the house to get annoyed by it.

FusionChefGeoff · 08/01/2026 21:42

On another more practical point - I’m guessing when he goes back to bed he’s doom scrolling whilst barking orders?????

At the very least can you suggest he leaves his phone downstairs and doesn’t pick it up until everyone is in the car???

Ohthatsabitshit · 08/01/2026 18:25

Gioia1 · 08/01/2026 18:12

@Ohthatsabitshit
It’s okay for you to disagree with me.

Well that’s a relief 😂

Gioia1 · 08/01/2026 18:12

@Ohthatsabitshit
It’s okay for you to disagree with me.

Dontdisrepectme · 08/01/2026 14:36

Notgonnalieaboutthis · 08/01/2026 11:16

I’m sure it’s bloody hard, not disputing that at all, but it seems so many more people are claiming to have this . How do they all manage to get diagnosed? Private companies? The NHS waiting lists for a neurodivergent diagnosis in our part of the UK are two years.

Show quote history

I got diagnosed private (paid for by me as no one told me about right to choose) but the Clinical psychologist was legitimate and had a wealth of qualifications in mental health. My own GP checked him out, to make sure it was legit for me. Also they had the GP data sharing which not all do, so I could have transferred medication (if I chose to be medicated) to the ownership of my GP.

I had to go private as I'd been waiting 2 and a half years, to be told I would waiting nearly another 5 on the NHS waiting list. Again, no one ever told me about right to choose. I needed some help as my symptoms were getting worse with age and I needed adjustments at work. This has helped tremendously.

I also had all of my school (from primary to high school) reports as evidence plus a letter from a neurologist talking of suspected neurodivergence, before you start thinking private isn't legitimate to make a diagnosis.

Notgonnalieaboutthis · 08/01/2026 11:16

ADHDwifeHP · 08/01/2026 08:11

ADHD is a registered disability under the equality act 2010. And it is so for a reason but the support adults in particular get in non existent unless they fight for it in a systematic way (very hard for someone with poor executive function) or pay for it privately (which is eye wateringly expensive).

I think there are so many posts about it because a lot of people are really struggling with a disability that is underestimated by so much of our society.

My husband relies on me for a lot of support and it’s taken us 15 years to get to a good place. I’ve had to accept some things I’d rather not but nothing that makes my life a misery.

I looked deeply into the stats in 2018 when we were make or break … a quick google gave me these:

Key Statistics & Findings:

  • Divorce Rates: Some studies suggest divorce rates in ADHD-affected marriages can be nearly twice that of the general population, though younger couples might not show significant differences.
  • Marital Satisfaction: Adults with ADHD and their partners report lower marital satisfaction.
  • Spousal Burden: Up to 96% of spouses report their partner's ADHD symptoms make household/childcare management harder, with most taking on more responsibility.
  • Marital Turmoil: 38% of ADHD individuals in one study reported their marriage had nearly ended, and 22% considered divorce, highlighting frequent conflict

It’s bloody hard.

Show quote history

I’m sure it’s bloody hard, not disputing that at all, but it seems so many more people are claiming to have this . How do they all manage to get diagnosed? Private companies? The NHS waiting lists for a neurodivergent diagnosis in our part of the UK are two years.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 08/01/2026 11:09

hanste123 · 06/01/2026 10:54

Thank you! I needed to hear that my stress is reasonable. I know I'm not perfect, but I give all I am and have into trying to make life work. But it is affecting my relationship with my kids, and their stress levels.

he won't get accessed. He knows what I think. But he doesn't believe in it and was massively offended (which is offensive to me as most of mg family are neurodivergent, even suicidal with it). He thinks everyone should be treated as individuals not as labels (which they should but we don't live in an ideal world). He also doesn't believe in medication - if it can be helped.

I got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult 2/3 of my way through my life. I've been taking ADHD meds for six months. By everyone's accounts, I have gone from an insufferable arsehole half the time to being calm, non argumentative, patient and all round nicer to be around. Get him assessed anyway.

Fridgetapas · 08/01/2026 10:55

Yeah this has to change as it’s so unfair on you and your girls. I think you had two options:

  1. Divorce him as he’s so bloody selfish and lazy and be a single parent.
  2. Just be like a single parent anyway and do the whole routine by yourself and leave on the dot and if he’s still in bed it’s his own selfish fault.

I like option one as basically they are both the same but with option one you don’t have this useless person hanging around your house.
No point nagging and stressing trying to change people. He’s made his bed and now he can lie in it.

SweetnsourNZ · 08/01/2026 09:23

If he's having a lie in with a cup of tea in bed he's not waking properly. He should get up and jump in the shower and then come down for cup of tea/breakfast. Who makes the bed? He could make the bed after his shower before coming down, then he wouldn't want to get back in it. Is it worth preparing snacks at night? This routine isn't working for you or the children and personally I would rather do one extra job such as getting children's breakfast than go through this. He can do something extra later in the day.

ADHDwifeHP · 08/01/2026 08:11

Notgonnalieaboutthis · 08/01/2026 01:06

He needs to get out of bed every morning and stay out of bed, like all grown ups do. No excuses. How does he hold down a job? Totally insufferable.

Why is ADHD mentioned on so many MN posts in the last few months?

ADHD is a registered disability under the equality act 2010. And it is so for a reason but the support adults in particular get in non existent unless they fight for it in a systematic way (very hard for someone with poor executive function) or pay for it privately (which is eye wateringly expensive).

I think there are so many posts about it because a lot of people are really struggling with a disability that is underestimated by so much of our society.

My husband relies on me for a lot of support and it’s taken us 15 years to get to a good place. I’ve had to accept some things I’d rather not but nothing that makes my life a misery.

I looked deeply into the stats in 2018 when we were make or break … a quick google gave me these:

Key Statistics & Findings:

  • Divorce Rates: Some studies suggest divorce rates in ADHD-affected marriages can be nearly twice that of the general population, though younger couples might not show significant differences.
  • Marital Satisfaction: Adults with ADHD and their partners report lower marital satisfaction.
  • Spousal Burden: Up to 96% of spouses report their partner's ADHD symptoms make household/childcare management harder, with most taking on more responsibility.
  • Marital Turmoil: 38% of ADHD individuals in one study reported their marriage had nearly ended, and 22% considered divorce, highlighting frequent conflict

It’s bloody hard.

TheOccupier · 08/01/2026 07:45

Get up earlier, set multiple alarms that can't be reached from the bed, and make sure you get up and go to the bathroom when the first one goes off. Also open curtains and windows and turn lights on. Stop bringing him tea.

Or just LTB. I don't know why women tolerate men like this. Is this what you want your daughters to think marriage looks like?

LucyLoo1972 · 08/01/2026 02:08

hanste123 · 06/01/2026 10:38

Disastrous morning. Something has to change. It is damaging and unhealthy, but I don't know what to do.

USUALLY: i get up first to get myself ready and do school drinks (while kettle is boiling). i wake husband with a cuppa so that he can wake up and get kids ready (I really would wish he would set his alarm, but sometimes that doesn't wake him). He has just started getting involved with the morning school routine (after 6 years of doing it on my own). He gets kids up, gives them breakfast, makes snacks for school and feed dogs (but forgets their medication). Then goes back to bed, I assume to 'wake up'. Once kids have had breakfast I take over, I oversee them getting dressed, teeth and I do their hair (2 girls), whilst finishing getting ready myself. One daughter I suspect is ADHD and really needs a lot of overseeing getting ready. Literally promt every item of clothing and making sure she isn't reading/playing instead. The other daughter sometimes needs physically dressing if tired, but usually she's very good at getting herself ready. Then when it's time to get all their stuff together, put drinks and snacks in bags, get my stuff together, lint roller the kids because we have dogs and get in the car. That busy 10 mins of Chaos is when my husband decides to have a shower. Despite me asking him not to get ready at the last possible minute and to be available to help get kids and stuff in car. and half the time we are waiting for him. I am certain he also has ADHD (which he denies/doesn't believe in) so he is 'time optimistic'. I might be autistic, or at least learnt to live like an autistic person as most of my family is autistic. So my husband and I clash. He likes to be free flowing and relaxed, and I need routine. My approach gets us ready on time and causes him stress (and me stress because I have to nag him). His approach causes me stress because we are late and disorganised. I can't win.

this morning was horrific. He was up late with pain in an injury he won't see a dr about. Not a bad injury but one that probably needs physio and strong pain killers. But still went to golf last night. Regardless, I still expect him to preform if he says he is goin to, much like I have to everyday since the kids were born as I have had no one to lean on or rely on. I still have to get up early and get everything done even when I've had 2 hours sleep due to pain, because I can't trust him tk step up.

so he was up late, i woke him 4 times. (I refused to take over waking the kids because that is a slippery slope to going back to me doing it all). he then got the kids up late. In fact i had to help get the kids up because we were so late and got one of the kids breakfast as the other was still in bed. He'd been 'unable' to get her up.... I was then running late, we were all running late, he went back to bed. He said he wasn't going into work that morning, so I said great, you can be a bit more 'hands on' then in overseeing the kids (instead of shouting 'are you getting dressed' from his bed). The ADHD Child needs someone physically checking on her every 2 mins. What he did instead was to get the ADHD child in bed with him for a cuddle and a chat (a chat I'd already had with her). That felt self indulgent, he liked the cuddle and didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted / needed him to get out of bed and help her actually get ready, not enable her to chill out when we were already behind. I tried to communicate with him what needed to be done and what I needed him to do (based on experience!) I feel that was reasonable and understandable but he doesn't like to be told what to do (demand avoidance I think. And I'm autistic so I'm direct and blunt). He has no emotional regulation and so he just starts telling me to chill out like I'm the one in the wrong for picking up his slack, and then just insults me, until we are arguing and I am insulting him back (not proud of that, but I do feel there is only so much I can take, and I cannot have him insult me and not stick up for myself. Do I teach my girls to accept that behaviour for themselves in the future?). It was horrible horrible morning. Horrible for the kids. I don't know how to be any different, and I don't know if he can be either. Feel like we are ruining our kids lives, feel like stepping into traffic and just leaving them because I hate to think I am hurting them. But doing that would also hurt them.

the history is that my husband has always been shit or minimal at helping with the morning or bedtime routine. Maybe because the ADHD makes him hate routine and always look for fun and have 'time blindness'. Which means I never get to have fun, do all the work, have all the fall out because of the lack of routine. And live a life where I can foresee failure in which he will run headlong into because we need to 'chill out'. He does bring the fun into their lives, there's just no room for fun in mine because of it. I do need to chill out more, but how can I when I find him so stressful, that I have to fight against him, that I have to do more because I cannot rely on him/pick up his slack. How can I chill out when I am plainly asking for help and he just lies in bed, thinking he knows best and doesn't listen. Needless to say we were late, and I was crying all the way into school at the nastiness, stress and helplessness of it. Feel like I am attacked for trying to do what is needed for the family, for trying to get him to do what is needed. What is the solution? I start getting up even earlier and go back to doing it all myself so I don't get the stress or the attacks. And then be bitter and resentful. And be too tired in the evenings to be a wife to him?

It has caused alot of bitterness and resentment in the past. Therefore, on and off last year he was better (but on and off isn't reliable, I can't work with that) and since September he has really good. Just today I think, has been horrific, but not unusual.

I need him to 'woman up'. To just do what is needed like a mum does. Get up even though you don't want to, because that is what your family needs. Do what is needed! I need a team mate I can rely on and share the load. K

PS It might sound harsh for me not to allow him slack because he's not sleeping due to pain. But that pain isn't stopping him in any other area of life and he is doing nothing about it. And I'm still expected to do it all if I have no sleep due to pain or kids, or if I'm ill. I'm holding him to the standards u HAVE to live by.

And also, he does often like to give excuses as to why he can't get up to help, much like a child would. And then miraculously that illness that prevented him from getting up, has gone for the rest of the day. He's just sick of mornings. But I doubt he is as sick of it as I am.

what the hell should I do?

I had a husband like this - no kids though - and I ended up having a psychotic break from stress that cost me everythign I had ever worked for and left me with disabilities becasue he was so so incompetent that he made life so impossible. I had unresolved childhood trauma which my psychologist says is the reason I pout up with that shit for so long that it broke me

Notgonnalieaboutthis · 08/01/2026 01:06

He needs to get out of bed every morning and stay out of bed, like all grown ups do. No excuses. How does he hold down a job? Totally insufferable.

Why is ADHD mentioned on so many MN posts in the last few months?

AmpleSwan · 08/01/2026 00:50

Given that he is already a rubbish Disney Dad what do you gain by staying with him. Btw your girls will understand and see things differently when they are grown as an adult I fully see that my strict, worrier of a mum was holding is all togethor due to my fathers inability to manage.

whynotwhatknot · 08/01/2026 00:19

whasts the [popint of these men honestly

hes playing you hes in pain diddums then miracously can go out an do what he wants once the kids areout-funny that

patooties · 08/01/2026 00:08

What does he bring to the party?

Goinggreymammy · 07/01/2026 23:29

Another vote for totally ignoring your husband in the mornings. I do. Mine is no help at all in the mornings (if he is even awake) and trying to manage him to be helpful is just more stressful.

But.... your morning routine sounds very complicated and stressful. I have 3Dc, one with ASD but also undiagnosed ADHD. Similar to yours in terms of forgetting to get dressed, constant monitoring etc. What I do is have the kids in a sort of linear onward routine that leads to the front door.
I get up and don't leave my room until I am ready myself. I mostly shower night before so 10/15 mins. Then I wake kids around 7:00/7:10 on my way to the kitchen. They have to get up and get dressed while I put out breakfast stuff. I do have to go up and make sure they are actually up and dressing etc a few times, but mostly all down by 7:30/40. Finished eating by 8:00.
I dont allow my AuDHD child back upstairs again as he would just get distracted. We have an extra set toothbrushes in kitchen cupboard. Lunch boxes ready in fridge, I do them when I'm cleaning up after dinner. They do teeth, put lunch in bag, shoes, coat and out the door by 8:15.
It's not foolproof and yes it does all fall on me but I'm playing to my strength which is organisation. My DH is good at other things.
I think you should tweak your routine and leave your DH out of it. My kids are 12, 10, 7 but we have had same morning routine since they were babies almost... only difference is I had to stay upstairs and physically had to help them dress.

Goinggreymammy · 07/01/2026 23:29

Another vote for totally ignoring your husband in the mornings. I do. Mine is no help at all in the mornings (if he is even awake) and trying to manage him to be helpful is just more stressful.

But.... your morning routine sounds very complicated and stressful. I have 3Dc, one with ASD but also undiagnosed ADHD. Similar to yours in terms of forgetting to get dressed, constant monitoring etc. What I do is have the kids in a sort of linear onward routine that leads to the front door.
I get up and don't leave my room until I am ready myself. I mostly shower night before so 10/15 mins. Then I wake kids around 7:00/7:10 on my way to the kitchen. They have to get up and get dressed while I put out breakfast stuff. I do have to go up and make sure they are actually up and dressing etc a few times, but mostly all down by 7:30/40. Finished eating by 8:00.
I dont allow my AuDHD child back upstairs again as he would just get distracted. We have an extra set toothbrushes in kitchen cupboard. Lunch boxes ready in fridge, I do them when I'm cleaning up after dinner. They do teeth, put lunch in bag, shoes, coat and out the door by 8:15.
It's not foolproof and yes it does all fall on me but I'm playing to my strength which is organisation. My DH is good at other things.
I think you should tweak your routine and leave your DH out of it. My kids are 12, 10, 7 but we have had same morning routine since they were babies almost... only difference is I had to stay upstairs and physically had to help them dress.

Dietday · 07/01/2026 23:25

Lotsnlotsoflove · 07/01/2026 22:41

I don’t agree - it’s not ideal and I resent that but it’s clear the kids love having us both around. I have a stepchild too, who is massively affected by her parents’ separation and having seen the emotional fallout of that I would not put my children through it unless things were a lot worse.

Show quote history

The OP wants to walk into traffic....eh I think she's there.