Patience going with immature friend

I wasn't trying to press you further - I was just replying to another poster who asked.

At the point of JOKING I'd have blocked her forever.
You don't get in the way of a friend's child's future. Unforgivable.

What do your other friends think? She sounds a massive PITA. I'd ditch her after the ridiculous smear comment tbh.
was she pissed at the meal? Shouting out stuff and poking the waiter?
What was the disgusting thing she did recently?

I read to i got to the smear test part, that's enough for me to cut her off.
That's a disgusting thing to say to someone or about anyone.
I'd set up a whole new chat group and make the rest aware that she will not be added to it.

Has the group ever just thought of cutting her off? She sounds so insufferable and you’ve given her enough time to grow up.

You don't need permission to end a friendship with someone you so obviously dislike! It may make things awkward in your friendship group though so be prepared for that.

She sounds autistic.

Why were you continuously updating a group chat from a garden centre? Especially when someone was just mocking you in response.

anyway- autistic or not- you don’t need to be around behaviour like that. Poking the waiter alone would have had me telling her to get her coat. How embarrassing.

Immaturity can actually be a measure of a learning difficulty, so it could be she does. Or she might just do it for affect as she gets attention. Who knows?

But that doesn't mean you have to be her friend or put up with any of it. She isn't your responsibility.

Friendship is supposed to be at least fun.

Does your friend know that this lady thought she had learning difficulties? If not I would bring it up (without mentioning the ladys name!) and tell her that she behaves that immaturely that people assume she has learning difficulties. Just be blunt.
I wouldn’t be friends with someone like that.
unless she does have learning difficulties and her parents just never bothered to get her tested? Have you asked her?

I was going to suggest this. I would bet your other friends are fed up too, how could they not be?

Couldn't be doing with someone like this. She sounds an absolute walloper. Cut her loose.

It sounds like she really might have some sort of difficulties.

I said the other day I was going to the garden centre and they started just repeatedly sending pictures of OAPs to my phone.

This is funny tho.

Is she Sarah Ferguson? Seriously though, you don't need this nonsense. Maybe she's jealous because she's a failure to launch.

Sounds more like autism to me. It’s social cues she seems to be missing, not reading, writing and math skills.

What are her parents like? Do they seem neurodivergent?

But would you say it?

I can imagine saying something like 'oh, DD has learning difficulties and I'm working hard to support her making friends into adulthood' and hoping these new friends I'd just met would bite and say 'oh yes, our friend so-and-so has a LD as it happens'. But I don't think most people would just jump in and say something like what the OP claims her new friend said.

You really don’t need permission. She sounds like someone who is very reluctant to grow up and prefers to stay in teenager mode. Friends should bring something to your life and she clearly isn’t.

This reminds me of my older sister and I really feel for you. It’s so difficult to be around her and it feels like nothing will change. I feel really embarrassed being around her in public so really share your frustration. I don’t have any advice but wanted to send some solidarity!

If she's poking waiters, I really wouldn't be going out for food with her. I've worked in catering; be nice to the waiting staff. We have the last laugh.

I don't know, I think almost everyone would assume a grown woman in a restaurant who pokes the waiter and repeatedly yells out has a learning difficulty of some sort.

I think female friendships can be challenging at this age when everyone is at different life stages. It sounds like as the single one with freedom she has adopted this way of acting as a ‘personality’ perhaps as a defence or coping mechanism to the fact that you and your friends have loved ones such as children and partners that she doesn’t have. I would guess deep down she feels lonely, a sense of grief or very insecure.

Of course none of this is your problem, and especially after the phone calls at college I wouldnt be proactively contacting her. I would be creating some distance.

I guess it’s possible she’s annoying AND has learning difficulties or is ND. I disagree with a PP that living with parents at 40 automatically means ND, but it’s definitely a sign of immaturity and/or codependence, enmeshment etc.

OP have you spoken to other friends in the group about her? I bet they find her really annoying as well. What is your plan to stop being friends if you’re all in a friendship group together? It sounds like you’ve been far patient than I could’ve been and I wouldn’t want to hang out anymore, but excluding her is also a bit mean