I have a group of about 5 friends who have all been friends for 20 years plus.
One of them has always been immature but over the past year it has for some reason really started to grate on me. We all turned 40 this year. The more the group grows up and moves to new stages of life the worse this one friend gets, but this week they did something that disgusted me so much I no longer know if I want to continue the friendship.
Examples of behaviour, but this behaviour is constant:
. We have a group chat for general catch up/ meet up arrangements/ kids birthday reminders etc. They text all day on chat then gets annoyed when people don't respond because we are at work.
. Whenever a serious conversation is being had ie: another friend was having some cells removed after a smear test and this friend in between our conversation with the others was saying things like 'ewwww you have to let someone up your vagina'
. Whenever anyone reaches a landmark- buying a house/ having a kid/ getting a promotion they change the subject back to themselves and start saying we are all conformists.
. I said the other day I was going to the garden centre and they started just repeatedly sending pictures of OAPs to my phone.
. Another one of our group befriended a single mum from school and bought her out for dinner and when she got home text my friend a genuinely lovely message saying how amazing it is we have a friend with learning difficulties, it gives her hope for her daughter. The immature friend has no learning difficulties.
. Had a tantrum two of the girls in the group went for drinks together and didn't invite the rest of us.
. I just took my youngest daughter to college open day and said friend spent the entirety of it texting me saying she needed urgent help until I left the room to call her and she went JOKING and hung up.
Typing this out it sounds insane, but it has unfortunately been normalised over 20 plus years, until now.
They live at home still, have a job which they keep being offered promotions in but won't take.
Half of the people that meet this person find them endearing in an entertaining way as it's like having a bouncy toddler around, the other half ask how we are friends.
This week she had a tantrum at a family members funeral because she wanted to cut a cake early, resulting in her mum crying.
I guess I'm looking for permission to end the friendship without sounding like a jumped up cow but I have had enough. I want to live my adult life with my adult friends.