To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

Hi my lovely. You will get everyone telling you you are unreasonable for not wanting your partner to go on an exciting and important business trip. And you are unreasonable for that.

But if you are the poster I recall from other threads you are really struggling with your health at the moment and your partner is not being at all kind or supportive. If that’s right and I have remembered you correctly (you have a pretty user name) then that’s the real issue. Don’t focus on the business trip. Focus on your own wellbeing. It may be that you would be better out of this relationship. That’s for you to decide obviously.

I really wish you well.

Very odd that all the others have chosen not to go on this trip. Why is it even optional if it’s for business?

I understand where you’re coming from OP.

I know for a fact my dh wouldn’t want to do this and I wouldn’t want to go away for two weeks without him either but he runs his own business and we could afford a trip like this together so a bit different.

You feel how you feel.

I think you’re being ridiculous.
Also, if I knew you IRL, I could probably identify you from this post, if it is indeed kitchens he works in

Don’t be daft it’s free, just be glad that he doesn’t have to go overseas with work all the time mine did it with no discernible pattern for a decade. It’s a one off. Both DH and I visit relatives overseas without each other.

It’s a business trip, not a jolly. It’s only two weeks. My husband regularly works away globally for 2 weeks at a time. Yes he gets some free time, but essentially he’s still at work. Business trips are not all they’re cracked up to be.

He’s not going on holiday it’s a work trip, sure he will get some free time to explore but that is different to choosing to holiday without you.

As for his colleague not wanting to go that’s fine too, I wouldn’t want to go to China and would make an excuse not to go.

my dh has been to Las Vegas x 2, New York, Lisbon, Barcelona, Hawaii without me with work, he stays in fancy hotels, fed the nicest of foods and is lucky if he gets an hour to himself a day, mostly he sees one conference room after the other with an evening meal spent networking, certainly not what I would class as a holiday

A bit needy?

Be supportive (rather than ridiculous).

It would be a total waste not to go. What a brilliant opportunity for him. I can understand a slight amount of envy, but i would hate to be in a relationship where my partner or I wouldn’t do something like that because we didn’t want to leave the other one.

Oh I didn’t think she’d tag along for the whole thing. I was more thinking they could fly out together a week early and then she comes home and he does the work part. That’s how my husband and I got to go to India and Japan - we tagged a holiday into the beginning or end of his working time and for the free flight.

He’s not using annual leave or household money if it’s a business trip, so there isn’t that issue. It’s a great opportunity for him. It’s a couple of weeks - arrange to spend time with your friends if you think you’ll be lonely. It’s fine to be a bit jealous, but don’t make him feel guilty for jumping at a business trip which could lead to enhancing his career. As others have said, China is a huge country, it’s not going to spoil the two of you visiting again for a holiday in the future and taking it in together.

Agree YABU

As others have said, it’s not a holiday is it. He will be working. What a great opportunity for him.

I would take this opportunity to reflect on your own life at this point and your dependence on him. You’re not ‘stuck here’, you can do anything you want.

Not quite 2 weeks but i’m buggering off for later this year for 4 nights without my DH and kids. My DH is going abroad later to see football. Live your life.

I think what youre feeling is not jealousy or anger that he is going, but sadness that you;re not going too. Completely natural and normal, but keep supporting him, its a great opportunity and China is not going anywhere....you will still get there together. In fact you may find that he comes back filled with so much enthusiasm for what he's experienced, that the two of you ramp up your effprts to get there and experience it together/

I would think my husband was pathetic if he couldn't leave me for two weeks, especially for a free trip.
YANBU. You can go again.

Then her partner will be on here complaining about how his intended rubbed his face in with it her YOLO holiday whilst he traipsed round looking at kitchen production factories for a fortnight.

Its not a holiday, and you can still go together, he might find some good places to take you - yabu

I'd be annoyed if my husband turned that down and we have 3 very young kids - it's not a jolly but hopefully he'll get the chance to see some bits and bobs and if for what ever reason you don't make it in a few years he's done it for (almost) free! If you do I'm sure he'll come back with some top travelling tips!

Do you have kids?

If not, why not look on it as your chance to have one last hurrah of having the house completely to yourself for two weeks before you get married?

It’s a business trip to a place that’s expensive to get to. I’d bite my bosses arm off!

I'd be super excited for DH if he got this opportunity, and genuinely gutted if he decided to decline!

I'm surprised everyone else has declined, very strange. You're being totally unreasonable.

Can you go along? Paying for one flight instead of two? I used to tag along on my husband’s work trips sometimes as then we could afford to see more places.

It’s normal to feel a bit envious of your partner if it’s somewhere you’ve both wanted to go, but this is a business trip and aren’t you happy for him that he gets to go somewhere nice? Your holiday together will be completely different (unless you both like to spend your holidays looking at kitchen manufacturing plants?!), and definitely still something to look forward to.