To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

Jesus ..... Of course he should go. What an opportunity! It's a work trip not a holiday

And even if it was a holiday. Great!

My DH used to go away a lot pre covid, and I was often incredibly jealous, and he was having a nice time not just working, but it was part of his job. I also got to go away with my job, not generally quite as glamorous places but…. Sometimes one of us would be able to go along as a plus one, but not often.

ithink you need to work on your feelings and insecurities not limited his choices.

Sorry, after reading a comment above, I too have read a couple of your previous posts.

You should not be getting married. You need to find your self esteem and independence. Once you know you can cope on your own you will be far less likely to accept a poor relationship.

It’s a work trip, YABVU, and if it’s any consolation when I’ve been abroad for work it’s 99% work and very little downtime, these trips are not as glamorous as you might think!

You don't know anybody in real life who is ok with their partner having separate holidays / weekends away with their friends?!

Seriously?!?!

I’ve just read your other threads and wonder if you can use the time alone to think about whether your relationship is actually a positive or negative thing in your life. You may find your mental health improves drastically without a man around who treats you so badly.

I would encourage you to find your independence again. Take up a hobby that you do on your own, spend time with your friends without your partner.

Being reliant on one person for everything isn’t healthy and can become suffocating for that person. Also, whilst I genuinely wish you a long and happy marriage, you never know what curve balls life may throw at you. Being able to function by yourself is really important.

Then you must have extremely overbearing friends or their husbands aren’t very good people and their “lads weekends” are exactly as they sound. Lots of alcohol, drugs, strip clubs, tales of other husbands cheating etc and if that’s the case, more fool them for being married to such men.

Me and my husband have weekends away separately constantly. He has hobbies and enjoys being outdoors and I love travelling with my girlfriends for spas, shopping, sightseeing etc.

We are extremely happy and trust each other 100%. It is a sign of a healthy relationship that you can let each other have lives outside of the relationship.

PS the same principle applies if it is another country.

He will be visiting factories, not the Great Wall of China. It’s a big country. You can still go together.

I would jump at a chance to do a trip with my work like this. 2 weeks is nothing and it would probably never be offered again.

However, my husband would hate me going, like you dont want your husband to go. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, comparing him to colleagues is ridiculous.

I haven't said this to my husband but I find his need to not be alone very suffocating and annoying.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum…I know exactly how you feel. Easier said than done, but try and focus on the positives.

I have been an SAHM in the past but we still took turns at going away.If men go away all the time leaving wives at home thats unfair, but no reason why men can't look after DC.

Kids grown now. DH went away for two weeks to see family. I waved him goodbye.

They’re really not I assure you. It’s quite normal! You see it on here all the time too, usually when the OP stays home with the dcs and doesn’t get the same opportunities.

It’s a perfectly normal human reaction for many reasons. Personally I like dh going off for a couple of days every now and again - two weeks would be too long apart for us though.

I think your unreasonable. My H has had 2 all expensives paid trips one was Cancon the other Hawaii. He went for a month both times. It was absolutely free and all inclusive for him. He loved it and I got on with life at home. I'm happy he had an experience of a lifetime. Although, we didn't have kids at the time. Having kids would have made it harder but I would have still sent him on his merry way. There has been talk about Tanzania in the next year but that will only be 2 weeks.

Sorry about your mum OP. But it could be helpful to be on your own for 2 weeks and discover that nothing bad happens, DP keeps in touch regularly and having him back is wonderful. Quite different from losing a loved one .
If he is likely to behave stupidly and drink too much, you need to talk to him about that separately.

Dh and I have been solo travelling ( along with family trips) for over 30 years. Marriage is not a cage and I am not anyone's keeper.
Best we all get used to being alone on occasion.

Sounds like you need some help around the loss of your mum - I’m so sorry.
You can’t let your grief become an intruder in your soon-to-be marriage. It will become a problem very quickly.

Sending love 🩵

Im going away next week with work- its work but with some fun times likely to happen, in a city me and DH both love. No annual leave taken, no family money used, he is totally fine with it. As should you be

Then, respectfully, most of your friends are a bit odd!

He's going for work not on his holiday so yabvu

Gently, OP, those are your issues, not his. He's going on a business trip, which coincidentally happens to be somewhere he's always wanted to go. Your fear of being alone can't be allowed to compromise a perfectly normal work thing.

I’m really sorry about your mum OP and think maybe it’s more to do with the loss of her than it is about your DP. I wonder if it’s worth having some counselling to help you talk through combatting the feeling of losing an anchor when a parent passes away? It could really help you.

There are clearly other issues besides the trip. I would get some counselling.

Also - MN is the only place where I ever see this kind of attitude of “oh, you’re so needy and unreasonable for being slightly upset that your dh is going off to travel for two weeks”.

In RL I don’t know anyone who’d be happy with this. Most of my friends get pissed off if their dh’s even go on a lads weekend!