To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

Each to their own, but I would divorce a man who had an issue with me going away for any reason, even for two weeks. Assuming childcare wasn't an issue. I simply can't live with or respect a possessive, clingy person..

The idea that those of us who go away without our partners dislike them is from the 50s!

Why wouldn't you want the person you love to have a wonderful experience? Even if it means you aren't there to share it? Would you be that selfish?

I'm going to Japan with work later this year. Both DH and DS are super jealous but also really excited for me to have the opportunity to visit a new and exciting country. Imagine turning down that opportunity because your partner doesn't want to be left alone for a couple of weeks.

You find it wild that in my circle of friends I only know of one who’d probably be ok with a two week non mandatory trip?

I find that wild!

you sound like fun 😂

And ridiculous if you translate "hen weekend" (or stag do) by a weekend of pure debauchery. They can be anything you want

Being on MN is unnecessary too, why are you wasting valuable time on a gossip forum?

I can cope perfectly fine on my own for two weeks - I still wouldn’t want him to go. He wouldn’t want to leave me and the dc’s for two weeks either.

Not all marriages/people are the same and that’s ok!

That’s wild that you think someone going on a non-mandatory trip means they don’t like their partner!! It means nothing of the sort, but it does mean you have serious issues with insecurity.

I said I don’t know anyone who’d be happy with their dp doing away for two weeks if it wasn’t necessary. Especially if it was a destination we’d spoken about visiting together.

That's a selfish attitude though and very childish.

Unless there is a backstory of you having 3 small kids or a newborn then yes you’re being unreasonable. You can be gutted for you but don’t hold him back on this opportunity!

If you mean hen weekends associated with weddings then yes they are equally unnecessary and ridiculous.

Although I don't think they generally emulate the disgusting levels of behaviour typical of most stag dos.

Then your friends are odd.
And anyway, a works trip is hardly the same as a lads weekend away.

Both me and DH travel for work and neither of us would dream of kicking up a fuss as we recognise how lucky we are.
An adult should be able to cope for a couple of weeks on their own and if you can't then I think you've got bigger issues.

if one is sulking or forbidding the other to ever go away for weekends, or even holidays and refuse to ever be left alone, I doubt it.

Pretty sure you can not want to go for a two week holiday without your spouse and still have very fulfilling and interesting lives and other people to talk to..

Strange take!

YABVVVU. My wife travels a couple of times for business each year, to many places I'd love to go, I tell her to extend and spend an extra weekend visiting. If you can afford it, now may be a great time to do the holiday if he can stay an extra couple of weeks, and you can fly out, but the company pays for his flights. If you do that, be careful with his insurance. He'll need one policy to cover the whole trip and can't easily split the work part and personal part.

I said I don’t know anyone who’d be happy with their dp doing away for two weeks if it wasn’t necessary. Especially if it was a destination we’d spoken about visiting together.

I can actually think of one friend who probably wouldn’t mind but she doesn’t like her dp and they shouldn’t really be together!

wow

and your friends' partners are still with them? Who can live such a claustrophobic life? And stick with people so uninteresting they don't do anything on their own - what do they have to talk about?

Agree!

But you said "I don't know ANYONE in RL who would be ok with this" (as in, their partner / husband going on a work trip).

That cannot be true??

Maybe the assistant manager has small kids and doesn’t want to leave his wife without help for 2 weeks for a non essential trip. That’s reasonable. But assuming you’re not in this situation then you are being massively unreasonable begrudging him this opportunity. Presumably this doesn’t affect your plans to go together?

And one further pathetic for not being able to be on my own for two weeks? It’s a wonder how long distance couple cope.

The assistant manager is a bit lame if he can't cope with two weeks away from his wife. I'd say the same if it was a husband. Suspect it's an excuse because he just doesn't want to go to China or wherever it really is, but given that your DP does really want to go there, it's a no-brainer to bite their hand off and go on the trip. If it's somewhere he's interested in, it's not like he'll not want to go back again with you. It's pretty insecure to feel upset about this and not pleased for him. If you don't trust him that's another matter and shouldn't be getting married, but if you do trust him then you should be able to support each other's interests - including trips away as they come up - not be joined at the hip for eternity.

If you genuinely love him, why would you want to limit his opportunities and experiences. If you love someone, you are not selfish, you want the best for them.

I'm afraid you are being v unreasonable. It is a work trip and they are rarely as glamorous as they sound. I quite regularly have to travel for work and in many respects it can be fun, in reality it involves a lot of networking & showing face. DP has come with me a couple of times pre-kids and the whole family once recently but that is actually even more of a juggle as you are having to do your work and be mindful of that fact that your DP/family are with you and want to see you and can feel even more stretched and stressed.

It sounds like you have been through quite a difficult time recently. I think you need to take this as an opportunity to learn to give yourself and bit of independence and not be so reliant on someone else for your happiness which is not a very healthy way to live IMHO.

I was going to say that you were BU, and that you obviously don’t trust him.

BUT….

Then I read your other posts. And I still think you’re BU, but ONLY because you should be looking forward to the peace and be glad to be rid of him!
He’s not good to you at all, he doesn’t seem to give you any thought whatsoever (Christmas presents a case in point) and doesn’t care about you (thinks you should do all the chores because you have no job atm).
Why are you still marrying him? He won’t change. I don’t know how old you are, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life being treated like this?!
A marriage should be a partnership, where both partners work towards the same goal - making each other happy. He clearly is not, and is not prepared to be, doing this.
I didn’t see if you have children, but if yes, think what both of your behaviours are teaching them about what a healthy relationship should look like.
If not -please don’t have them.
Everyone has a value that they are worth and he quite simply cannot afford you. And you deserve someone who can.
I wish you all the best xx

where do you stand on women who go on hen weekends?

I would call any man having a problem with their partner going alone with friends abusive frankly. Even if they have children!

The assistant manager has declined he doesn’t want to live his wife for that long

She might have health problems or a very good reason, but otherwise he's completely ridiculous😂 (or very clever to use an excuse because he can't be arsed to go, which is fair enough)

OP, of course you are BU

You are not even married yet and you already resent if your partner is away, and this time it's a boring work do? Will he not be allowed to go on holiday with friends without you sulking at home in the future? What about your holidays without him?

You need to work on yourself before you make it very unpleasant in the long term