To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

What do you mean? My XH regularly went on business trips that involved him being abroad for four to six weeks.

Mumsnet is a fictional place where everyone portrays a version of themselves that in reality does not exist. I wouldn't be happy with this nor would anyone I know be happy with this. If it was really important then it would be a different matter but really important trips are not 2 weeks long or optional. This sounds like a reward for high performing branches....

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be privately disappointed (even a bit sad) that you won’t be going to China for the first time together if that was planned for a couple of years time.

You would be being unreasonable to voice it.

I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you need to guard against attempting to control him out of fear of losing him, as this is likely to backfire. Most healthy people don’t want to be with someone who attempts to keep them always at their side. I think you should try to build a bigger network and not put so much pressure on him to be your whole world.

eta: I only just read the other comments (I had the OPs posts and some others but not the most recent PPs). I apologise if I have taken this situation at face value and I am not aware of the whole picture of your relationship. Maybe seeking counselling would help - if this man is not nice, it would benefit you to acknowledge that and let him go.

This, everyone.

She is also in a very vulnerable place mentally.

I know you shouldn’t have to, but I would urge those being so harsh to the OP to have a look at her other posts.
She is NOT in a healthy relationship, and this man is not nice.

Yabu, i travel with work and sometimes I tack a couple days at the start/end - why would you not want your partner to have an amazing opportunity like that?? Him going on an expenses paid business trip does not prevent you both from going in the future. You sound needy, clingy and jealous. If someone else genuinely isnt going because they dont want to be away from their wife that says something about their relationship tbh, how petty and sad

It is two weeks, not two years. You sound very needy.

but my partner had zero issues saying he would go. (why wouldn't he?)

Posters are just reading the OP and replying based on the OP, not projecting or dramatizing

YABVU

I am glad you’ve not shared how you feel with him because if you had he may reconsider the relationship and marriage (I know I would).

You are individuals and it’s fine for him to go and enjoy himself without you.

You need to live your own life OP.
I know couples who regularly do separate holidays.
Its not healthy for your happiness to come from 1 person.

Work on your mental health and being independent. It's not great that you have made your partner the centre of your world to the point you can't stomach two weeks without him.

I'm not commenting on whether OP should feel X, Y or Z about the trip or not. I'm commenting on poster's acting as though OP wants to stop him going or is being outwardly negative about it to him. They are also directly framing women or men who prefer to stay home with their partners rather than go on solo travel as needy and clingy and co-dependent. One does not equal the other.

OP said plainly that she has not mentioned it to her partner and that she has told him she is happy for him. She hasn't done anything wrong, and she's entitled to feel upset if it makes her upset – especially since she says she's feeling very vulnerable after losing her mother, when her wedding is looming no less.

The dramatic, hyperbolic posts on how unreasonable she is to have any of these feeling far far outweigh those handling her feelings with care and understanding.

It's MN all over, and it's tiresome.

It's not China. She's changed the destination and other details.

Come on now, you aren't tied at the hip! Don't be controlling.

If you have time and extra cash, why don't you plan to go somewhere as well at the same time.

Maybe he's international drug lord or an incognito spy or goes to euro clubs wearing women's underwear. No point filling in the gaps with fiction.

I am married with 3 kids and my husband is heading to the World Cup for 2 weeks without me. Being married doesn’t mean we are glued to each other. By the sounds of it you don’t have kids, so no ties to staying home on your own struggling from that aspect. I’d say his assistant manager is a fool for not going. With kindness I’d say you need to work on your self esteem or your reliance to being attached to your partner and feeling ‘alone’ for 14 days.

Why have you framed this as a holiday? It’s a business trip.

YABVU. Are you saying if the situation were reversed, you wouldn’t go? Insanity!

At least you haven’t told him so you haven’t made a holy show of yourself.

Have you had any bereavement counselling? That might help you to feel more confident and resilient and more like yourself?

No one is dramatising, the OP is not telling the friend in passing, oh I'll miss him

she's starting a thread on MN about how "upset" she is at the idea and that she will be stuck here.

People go on their own all the time, for work, for hobbies. It becomes pretty much unavoidable when you have kids unless you have a live-in nanny, one of you need to stay home with them.

Not keeping some independent life once you marry or get into a serious relationship is unhealthy, and dangerous - how do you cope when you become single again, or the other one become unwilling or uninterested in travelling ever again.

I somehow missed your update.

I’m sorry you have gone through a huge loss OP. However you really need to try to gain back that independence you once had and enjoyed.

Life is for the living as a couple and as individuals.

It’s a great business trip and it’s two weeks not two months. YABVU.

Seeing as he’s getting free flights and you’ve always wanted to go, could he extend his trip at the end and you join him for a holiday? Would be a great way to see this location for half the travel cost! I think most companies would be happy to do this.

Or maybe this colleague has a track history of infidelity in work trips.

the majority of my hols last year were without my DP. It didn’t even occur to me he would be lonely, I’m sure he enjoyed the time with himself. I always do when he’s away.

I agree (as long as he was using his own money).

Hes a bit silly when he’s drunk and careless.

What does this refer to?

Ps when I say they are gross it’s because they smell and smoking indoors is normal there etc, this is from lived experience having been there with work, not anything racist against Chinese people themselves, just to clarify