Is your family shrinking?

I find it interesting that my dh works in a large investment bank so people are on good wages. In his department the most common option of those with children is to make a choice to have only one, a lot have chosen not to have any. Having multiples is the least common option.

Kind of the other way around! I grew up with 0 first cousins, my kids have 5. My dad's late sister had no kids, my mum's family weren't in England and most of her father's family were murdered in the Holocaust so basically a branch of family is missing. Extended family were almost all descended from my father's grandparents so we didn't see them all that much or know them well.

Both of my siblings have kids, as does my BIL, though doesn't look like SIL is going to have any. But there's a fair amount of cousins about.

My children have no cousins or aunts and uncles on my side (I have two siblings on my side who show zero interest in them and I don't count them as family) and only two cousins on my husbands side but a fabulous Uncle and Aunt.

I don't see it as a negative. It is what it is. We have an enormous social network of close friends, family friends, second cousins etc. We go on holiday with them, days out, get togethers etc. They certainly aren't lacking for anything with a smaller family and I love that we've been able to choose who we are close too and we have such a varied group of people and kids for my children to grow up with. I didn't leave near my extended family or saw them often and because my parents were so social, we never missed out onanything.

Yes my kids have one cousin I had six

Dh has a very small family. I have a large family, lots of cousins due to dm and her 2 siblings. We would all meet ip every weekend for tea at DGPs. Quite often bedlam! But great. We all drifted apart but are now back in contact. My siblings have either 1 or 2 kids, now with gdc arriving. Think most will have 1 or 2 purely down to COL.

Yes each generation is smaller, my granny had 6 siblings, she had 4 children, 6 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.

Not yet, but I do wonder if it will in the future. I have 5 cousins on one side and from them they have had 7 children. I have 3 cousins on the other side and they have 4 children. I am in a sibling group of 4 and between us we have 8 children. So in my generation the family has grown. But the eldest siblings and cousins’ children are now adults themselves and have not had children at the ages their parents did. One cousin’s child has had 2 quite young but there are another 7 aged 25-32 and none of those have yet had children, whereas their parents all had by their age. It could be that they will just have children a bit later than the generation before them. Or maybe they never will. Time will tell.

Absolutely. I have 25 cousins, of which only five of us had children. My own DC don't have any cousins (we never see the handful of second cousins). We don't even have any friends with children as they are all child free by choice, so DC don't know any other children outside of school. Pretty sad really.

DC was the only kid on Xmas day. It was quite boring for her. Of my three closest friends, only one has had children. It's not the norm now.

oh, it's so interesting... Yes, my family is stabilising. There was such huge growth for several generations, and that growth has stopped - but it's bumpy.

My mother was one of 2, next generation is 2 children, then 5 children (expectation would be 4 and 8)
My father was one of 5, next generation 9, then 17

DH's mother was one of 2, next generation 4, then 13
DH's father was one of 2, next generation 4, then, 8

So it kind of depends on how you are counting. If there had been just 2 children per couple in the grandparental generation, then there should be 32 now (and there are 43). But given that there were 11 (one family of 5) you would expect 44.

No families of 5 children since the 1940s (two of 4, three of 3).

I totally disagree. I'm childfree. It's a very definite choice. And yes, I did regard having children as an affliction to be avoided. "Childless" conjures up a sad vision of someone wishing they could have had children. It's a very useful distinction.

My dad was an only child, my mum one of six but she’s the only one who had children- my sister and I. My sister is single and doesn’t want kids. I have one, and he has my boyfriend’s surname. So my family name has fully ended now with me and my sister. My boyfriend is an only child, so our son will have no cousins. Very small family!

We never had really large family gatherings due to family drama (oh the joy), however our family is shrinking, as people are getting older and passing away, and neither my brother or I have had children, and I don't see that changing any time soon. I'm 35 so getting to be too old, and he's a little younger but has never shown any interest in being with anyone at all, or having kids etc. So I'm in for a very lonely old age, as my partner is quite a bit older than me too. Quite depressing really.

Yes.
I'm one of two, as is my partner.
We have two kids but our respective siblings have opted for one each.
I live on a street that used to be primarily young professionals, no kids.
They used to move on to the suburbs once first child on the way- to bigger, family sized houses- presumably to expand family further.
Over recent years, the young professionals have had their one baby and stayed. These houses are small but less of an issue with one kid.
None of them shows any sign of having more children or of leaving the street.
Certainly around here, one child is de rigueur- so we're a bit unfashionable with our two!

I have 2 first cousins and a sister, my daughter is an only with none.

My father had 1 first cousin, my mother 5.

Despite small families, we stay in touch. I was at a cousin in Australia's wedding - who I know reasonably well and probably see at 10 year intervals but is seen more often by other family members. We worked out that our actual relationship is that our great grandmothers were sisters! There have been lots of only children in the interim generations, and so cousins are more like sisters.

There was 28 of us at my family Christmas meal , a couplw more will be arriving this year and possibly a few more in the coming years but that's not a given. After that I imagine it may start shrinking

Yes ours is getting very small.

i have 5 cousins. My cousins do have a few children but we don't see them as we all live miles/countries apart.

my husband also has 5 cousins (he's the youngest) and none of them have gone on to have any children (mostly through choice, some because of circumstances) and they're all female in their mid 40s now so not likely to happen.

mine and my husbands siblings have also not had children and again don't think they will now either.

so our children are the only kids in the immediate family on both our sides. Makes me quite sad for our children that they won't have a large family around them growing up. I spent quite a bit of time with my cousins growing up. My husband thinks it's irrelevant and his cousins haven't added anything meaningful to his life so he doesn't really see it as a big deal 🤷🏼‍♀️

We were part of a set of 13 cousins growing up. I have two siblings, one has three children, the other has four and I am soon have have eight children. I realise that we are very much the exception. So many of the people I grew up with socially have chosen not to have children. Those who have mostly stopped at one or two. Most of the people I work with only have one child, if they have any at all.

Depends how you look at it. My children have only one sibling each whereas I had four siblings but on the flip side, I had eight cousins, my children have eight cousins.
My husband’s side is similar, two siblings, whereas, again, our children have only one sibling each but he had eight cousins, same as our children again.
I suppose from my mother’s perspective, the family is getting larger. Both her parents were only children so no aunts, uncles or cousins, then my mum was one of four, but only her and one other had children.
Family occasions have the potential to get wildly out of control every time which makes me very happy. I love that our children are growing up with so many aunts, uncles and cousins. We’re also lucky enough to have reasonable circles of friends who may as well be family, so there’s that too.

I think on average people will have smaller families as birth rates are declining due to cost of living and childcare. More women work so have a career rather that stay home to have kids. A lot of my friends only had one child. There will be exceptions but looks like it’s going that way.

Yes. DH and I both have siblings and cousins all approaching or are in our 40s, but we are the only ones with kids. Poor DC have no cousins and are unlikely to in the near future.

Our parents plus their siblings (previous generation) = 11
Their children (my generation) = 6 (2 of them unlikely to have kids)
Our children (next generation, my DC) = 2

Quite depressed for my DC looking at that. No family. SEN too so they actually need family to look out for them. I hope it’ll happen for my sibling who is mid 40s but they just ended a long relationship.

we were talking about this at Christmas.
We had 14 on Christmas day and 15 on Boxing Day. (not quite everyone was there)
Grandparents x 2
3 adult children and spouses (that's me and my brothers)
8 full grown grandchildren.
Just waiting for the great grandchildren generation to kick in.

When I was little I had just 2 cousins, so now it is much bigger.

But that is my side of the family. I realise that both my SIL have now either no family left or very tiny family and very few at the granchildren level, 0 cousins on one side and 2 cousins for the other.
It was quite a shock ot realise that.
On my dh side the family is also large, again 3 adult kids plus spouses and 8 grandchildren, almost all grown up. Sadly no more grandparents though

My family line ends with my brother who isn’t married.
Ww2 lost many of the male side and those that had children had daughters except my grandparents. Besides myself and brother my father’s brother had daughters.

My husband’s parents were only child again WW2 taking away their parents from further siblings. He was one of five and there are only two grandsons carrying the family name. There are seven grandchildren.
Our son has a son. They want more children but so far it has been a roller coaster of disappointment and miscarriage for my darling daughter in law.
His cousin lives abroad and his son doesn’t carry the family name.

Our family has definitely got smaller. In the early 90s we would have birthday parties/christenings with nearly 100 family members in attendance. Now it would be more like 20. I have 7 cousins in their 30s/40s and 4 don't have children, and my siblings don't have children either.

I have 1 sibling and we seem to have bucked the trend in having 4 & 3 each. For a few years at the primary school we were the only family with more than 2 children in the whole school and in our eldest's class I noted that there were only 5 other families with either one older or younger sibling. A lot of only children (out of a class of 32)!

By the time our youngest was at school, there were a handful of families with 3, 4 & 5 children.