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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is your family shrinking?

234 replies

sunshine244 · 06/01/2026 07:54

I know there's a trend for people to have fewer kids currently, and am curious is others are finding similar patterns.

My kids only have one cousin despite them having 4 sets of aunts and uncles in their 40s. There's not likely to be any more children due to circumstances/age.

My own 6 cousins (40s-50s) have only had 4 children in total, and again it is unlikely there will be more.

Family gatherings are a lot quieter than when I was a child!

OP posts:
zurigo · 06/01/2026 12:48

Yes, our family is shrinking. I'm one of two and had two cousins. DH is one of two and had one cousin. Neither of our siblings have had DC, so our DC have no cousins at all.

Crunchymum · 06/01/2026 12:45

My family has exploded!

I have 3 first cousins, my kids have 19 first cousins and counting.

My parents had one sibling each (1 had 2 DC and the other had 1 DC). I have 3 siblings, DP has 6. Not that it matters but all are full siblings. So very big families who have almost all gone on to have multiple kids themselves.

pitterypattery00 · 06/01/2026 12:44

Maternal gran - 2 children, 4 grandchildren, 3 great-grandchildren

Paternal gran - 6 children, 17 grandchildren, 35 ish great grandchildren, 2 great great grandchildren

So maternal side of family has already started to shrink and I think the paternal side will (as I don't think the 35 great grandchildren will have 70 children between them given many are already adults)

MavisBarrel · 06/01/2026 12:42

I had more than 10 cousins growing up. DH had none. His parents were both only children.
My 2 DC have no cousins, neither my or DHs siblings had children.
Extended family meet ups are very sparse but DH has a group of old friends who are our equivalent we do multi generational get togethers with them sometimes and it’s like my old family gatherings but more fun !

ThisTicklishFatball · 06/01/2026 12:37

Not in my family’s case, and I’m including every branch from both maternal and paternal lines.

Family doesn’t always gather for celebrations, as everyone has their own life and some live far away. But we always try to make the effort to reunite. Seeing everyone at least once a year can be tough and doesn’t always happen, but whether the gathering is big or small, it’s always fun.

I have two children, while my siblings, who are in their late 20s to early 30s, don’t have any yet—maybe they never will, I’m not sure. My cousins have between two and four, my parents had four, my grandparents had nine, my great-grandparents also had nine, my great-great-grandparents had ten, and so on.

We’re all from farming stock, so older generations had plenty of children, while younger ones tend to have up to four.

Farming families once had large households to ensure plenty of help for the demanding work, with everyone pitching in. But times have changed—government policies, taxes, financial pressures, and the rising cost of living have led to smaller families. Adding to that, today’s culture often views farming negatively, so many younger people choose different careers and move away from farm life, though there’s still some fresh young blood joining in.

Howdoistopthecatshoutingatme · 06/01/2026 12:21

No.

What is sad is that families are becoming disjointed despite their sizes.

I have quite an extended family (my grandparents came from huge families and my parents have 11 siblings between them) and I may have 21 cousins but I'm not 100% sure. I know one of those has a child but I couldnt tell you anything else about any of them. I havent even met some of them! I suspect their are lots of children.

My youngest brother has 2 children but I haven't had any contact with him in years. I couldnt even tell you where he lives.

So in theory I have a huge family. In reality, I could walk past 99% of them in the street and not know who they were so my family is actually my parents and older brother and his partner (no children), plus my husbands small family, most of whom only see each other at Christmas. His cousins have no children.

FlyingApple · 06/01/2026 12:20

I only had 3 cousins, my children have 11 cousins.

Ohcrap082024 · 06/01/2026 12:13

Yes. I had 6 cousins on my dad’s side and 8 cousins on my mum’s side.

My dc have 2 cousins.

Both my parents also had more cousins than I did. It’s generational shrinkage.

Dragonflytamer · 06/01/2026 12:12

Yeap. I had 21 cousins, my kids have 6.

troppibambini6 · 06/01/2026 12:08

I’m an only child I have one cousin who I fell out with years ago. Dh is one of 3 brothers but they only one to have children so our children have no cousins.
We have six children. The eldest has two children so when we all get together it’s lovely. I hope the younger five have children they all say they want them when they are older but who knows.

Notthisagainyouidiot · 06/01/2026 11:59

Yes my mother was 1 of 6. Of her and her siblings they had 1, 3 (only brother, 2 marriages) 2, 2,1,0. Of that group of 9 cousins 4 of us have no children.

MossAndLeaves · 06/01/2026 11:58

@thecatneuterer
Its akin to people saying "im self coupled" instead of saying "im happily single". Just a needless fluffy description to make up when theres already a real word for it.

TheToteBagLady · 06/01/2026 11:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Peachandpassionfruit · 06/01/2026 11:56

Yes. I have 14 cousins, my son has 3. None of DH’s four siblings have children and three of them are unlikely to.

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 06/01/2026 11:55

I have 5 cousins - DH 4 - though not really close or seen much of them in our lives.

Our DC have two - one they've met few times one they still haven't met despite me trying to arrange.

I had two uncles - one either side saw rarely - DH had 4 - though one died before he was born - saw one regaularly.

Mine have an aunt and a Uncle who've made little to no effort with our kids.

My kids seem quite close - closer than me an my siblings at this age.

There weren't that many big gatherings in our families but it was when I met second cousins and great Aunts - mostly remember it being wedding anniversaries.

Last one would have been Dad funeral and it was just Mum and us kids and 4 older grandkids and freinds and neigbours- everyone else realtive wise was too old to travel or had little to do with my parents.

HorrorAndHaagenDazs · 06/01/2026 11:52

Excluding partner and her kids who i do consider family, my blood family is only me and my dad. It does feel small.

RebeccaRedhat · 06/01/2026 11:51

My children have 4 sets of aunties and uncles and 8 cousins, however my brother and his partner don't have children and never will. I have 3 kids so hopefully they will have a couple each.
I have around 20 cousins and my dad was from a big family, and most of them have 3/4 children!

PrettyDamnCosmic · 06/01/2026 11:48

It's unsurprising that we have fewer cousins as for the last fifty years the birth rate in the UK has been below the 2.1 per woman necessary to maintain the population. It's the same throughout the West. It's the main reason that immigration has been so necessary & with an increasingly elderly population will remain so.

LatteLady · 06/01/2026 11:46

I have 40 cousins on my mother's side as she was the eldest of 12... and one of my cousins went on to have 10 girls. My father was brought up as the youngest of eight but that is slightly misleading as his eldest sister was actually his mother.

Sadly, I am the last of my parents' line as neither I or my siblings have had children and the family is scattered to the four corners of the globe... our last mega party was a golden wedding celebration where there were over 100 people all blood related having a whale of a time!

billiongulls · 06/01/2026 11:43

My ds has 26 first cousins, I'm not quite sure how many I had, certainly more than this. But I'm one of 6 and dh is one of 9.

wishingonastar101 · 06/01/2026 11:41

100% - I have 9 cousins and my kids have 2 cousins.

pitterypattery00 · 06/01/2026 11:39

My dad was one of 6 and I have many cousins on that side (now aged early 40s to late 60s). We have had around 35 children between us (only 2 didn't have children). But I think the next generation is where things will start to shrink - the 'children' are aged from 5 to 35, with most now adults. So far there has only been 2 children born in the next generation. Obviously there will be more over time, but I wouldn't be surprised if the average number of children is below 1.

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 06/01/2026 11:38

My Dad only had one brother but my uncle had 4 kids and I have 2 DBs, my cousins had lots of children too (but they're all in their 50s and 60s and I'm early 40s) we were never close with Dads side of the family. My Mum's 2 DBs never had kids, one was due to infertility the other due to never settling down with a SO.

Out of my brothers one has had 1 DC and the other has had 2 DCs. My DH has 2 sisters but only one has 2 DCs and I think the other sister probably won't have DC now. I have one DC but a mixture of not trying for a family till 37 years old (out of choice, got together with DH quite young) and then covid/COL meant we stopped at 1. I'm 43 now and probably could afford another but the age gap feels too big and I feel too old to do the baby years again. I feel there was a window and we unfortunately missed it. I also worry about baby health especially since I'm a bit older, my DC has ADHD and we would probably struggle if we had another child with complex needs. Xx

X123x321X · 06/01/2026 11:34

There was only one son in each generation on my father's side for well over 100 years. There are also fertility problems in the female line, and I have one cousin related to him. The family name will be gone when the current generation dies.

Am805463 · 06/01/2026 11:30

No, my kids have 27 cousins.