Thinking of divorcing to protect his inheritance

Have you heard of writing a will? Never heard such a bunch of nonsense in my entire life 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hmm yeah!

Have you seen a mental health specialist? A solicitor will get this sorted out for you in 3 weeks. The issue is not with inheritance, it's you and your bizarre notions which are not healthy.

Like another has said - what are you on about ?

Has your husband said he wants a divorce ? Have you ever added up what a house wife is worth ?

I thought you were going to say that your FIL had always disapproved of you, and that, nearing the time of his demise, had acquired a sudden, overpowering conviction that, “I would have my son be a beggar in the street before I ever let my earthly treasure fall into the hands of that woman!” And I imagined your DH had said, “And I would rather us live as hoboes under a bridge than ever forsake the hand of my beloved OP!” And then Noble Op, with a soft look at her DH that said more about Woman’s capacity for the truest, most sacred form of Love than any of our best 100 sonnets could, said, “Oh no, my Darling. I could not bear to be the instrument by which you were separated from your Birthright! Let us welcome the cruel axe of Destiny, and smile into each other’s eyes as it severs us, and move into a pair of semis.” Reader, she divorced him.

Not sure if you’d be into this kind of thing but I listened to an “abundance” meditation every day for 21 days from an abundance course by Deepak Chopra. It’s supposed to help you to feel more open to abundance and my mum said she noticed a big (positive) difference in my mentality at the time. I think you need to open yourself to abundance and feel grateful rather than guilty. (And sod his parents’ rude comments about gold digging. It’s downright sexist. Bringing up three children is a huge job and you doing most of the leg work there means that your DH has been able to work as hard as he has.)

This is truly a weird way to completely F yourself over.

My married friends inherited a lot from her side of the family.They’ve helped their kids but are now busy spending the money together, mostly on travelling the world. They have world cruises, they’ve bought a swanky motorhome, which they tour Europe with.

Neither of them ever considered that the money was just hers.

Get a grip OP and enjoy whatever is to come.

You can have a post nuptial agreement drafted, this covers situations like this ( if they really need dealing with at all). PM me.

This is such a nonsense post as I feel
you may have made it up, which, if true, is aweful as there are people who reach out on this forum with real concerns hoping for insight.

There are enough problems in life without making more for yourself.

Leave things as they are.

I think you are overthinking this! My husband has a trust fund and I said, (in front of my MIL) that if we ever fell out of love then I wouldn’t take any of his inheritance, but, if he cheats on me I’ll take half! My MIL laughed and said ‘fair enough’! Obviously this is tongue in cheek but my point is that you would have the opportunity to make these decisions when it came to divorce proceedings, you wouldn’t be forced to take his money.

It’s great being married to someone you love, being divorced wouldn’t be the same.

I agree with this post. It sounds like you ruminate these thoughts in your head until you think they are rational. They are not rational. You sound critically over anxious to even be having these thoughts in the first place. Your DH can make a will. If he left you wealthy you don't have to remarry. Maybe talk to your DH to let him know these strange and silly thoughts you are having.

OP, I'm a solicitor and whilst I obviously can't advise you, I can categorically tell you do not need to get divorced to protect DH's inheritance. There are a plethora of very common structures used in Wills to get around this exact issue of spouse 1 dying first and ensuring that spouse 2 is still supported but doesn't give all the money to the tennis coach. I implore you to see a proper solicitor and put sensible Wills in place.

Reading this I feel you may be looking for a get out card, I feel you hold slight resentment and now before arguments come about you want to leave a loving relationship? It can't be that solid if divorce has entered your thoughts, I think you need to consider why you are in such a tis because throwing away 21 years over money is pathetic, do a will that puts in place who should get what and when, I'd say there's more to this story then being told :( poor guy thinks he's winning and the wife wants to do over because she don't want the money 🤷🥴 I'd say you need to sit and really speak about it all because it will just breakdown and cause more resentment between you and the kids will be effected, no one can divorce and live in same house without it effecting the emotional needs and feelings what's the point ! 🫣

@Changeofnameforprivacy

Well done! Great, insightful, reflections.

It was just a shock. Enjoy the change of circumstances and all that comes with it. It sounds like you’ve earned it! For better and for worse, not just for worse! Enjoy the better too!

Lean on support. Maybe consider some therapy?

I think if I were your DH, I would feel upset and insulted if you suggested divorce for these reasons. Don’t let the PILs get under your skin so much that you put your relationship in jeopardy. If you feel that the balance of power in the relationship will change in a negative way because of the money, talk to him about this.
Your husband has done an amazing deal. He’ll be feeling really excited about it. Celebrate with him. Don’t ruin it for him but throwing the marriage under the bus.

stop stressing over impressing his parents with your martyrdom. You have made a very valid contribution and supported him to be in this situation. To leave would be madness. Fuck what they think!

Are you secretly sick of your husband and looking for an excuse to leave him? 😂

If you tell DH you want a divorce for the reasons you’ve outlined, it’s so beyond belief he will think you are having an affair and want to make sure you get half the assets before you leave him. He won’t trust you again.

Imagine if he came to you with the same story you’d be on here asking if we thought he had another woman and we’d all be saying yes!!

I understand where you’re coming from to a degree, OP.

I used to earn comparatively to DH, but after having our first baby dropped to part time. My career progression has paused, whereas DH has been promoted a couple of times plus has his own side business - he earns significantly more than I do. We now have 3 children and I do the lions share of the parenting and housework, so I contribute in a tonne of ways (but unpaid).

DH’s family is a lot more well off than mine. This has become abundantly clear of late, as my MIL is sadly battling stage 4 brain cancer and the oncologist’s preferred treatment is no longer an option. There have been a lot of discussions surrounding wills and inheritance of late. Her estate will be worth over 2mil, leaving DH and his 3 sisters with at least $500k each. This would also make the 4 of them the sole inheritors of their grandfather’s estate when he passes (around a million) and their great aunt’s when she passes (1.5 to 2mil). On the other hand, my mum’s estate will be lucky to be 500k and I don’t expect to see anything at all from my dad (my step mum is younger than him so I’d expect him to pass first, and they also have 2 children together who will understandably be her priority - they’re both teenagers, whereas my sisters and I are all adults with children of our own).

It’s not about the money - of course, we would prefer all of these people to remain alive and well - but the reality is that they won’t be here forever and their estates will be inherited by children/grandchildren. DH has mentioned a few things regarding his mum’s will and, to be honest, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s not my money and I feel like I should have no say. If we ever split, I’d like to think I’d not lay claim to any of that money (although it becomes harder when DH wants it to go towards a house - I’d still be helping pay off that mortgage/doing all housework). And if DH ever passed, I’d put the money aside for our DC.

What an odd post!

Of course you should get the money as you can then pass it on to your kids.

If he died he would want you to have it. Just dont remarry!

It's way more likely (statistically) that he'll buggar off with someone than you so stay married and protect yourself, fgs!

But what if the grandchildren divorce and half the money goes to their spouses and out of the family 😵‍💫. OP stop overthinking!

You’ve given this man 20 years of experience your life, three kids, dinner cooked, a home kept and love - these are meant to be the most important things to a man. You’ve earned your keep. When you married, you took vows. You’re a family and a team.
Don’t even think about divorce! You haven’t even had the inheritance yet. And if you do, and DP shares that with you, accept it. Unless you’re planning to split up because you don’t want to be with him any more.

So you want to get divorced so your husband can keep the money in case you get divorced?
This makes no sense. If you do get divorced in the future just don’t take the money, you are not compelled to take 50/50 you can negotiate any settlement you want.
Just enjoy the money and see where life takes you.