DUMB SHIT People say

Of course worryingpis a choice. You choose to worry or you can choose not to. Self control.

I used to get absolutely awful hormonal acne and so many people used to tell me how to fix it. Completely unsolicited as well. Big hugs my friend.

My mum came around at 12pm when I was 10 days post birth. I'd had over 100 stitches due to a very difficult delivery. Dh had gone back to work the day before. My other two kids and myself were still in pyjamas and they were having a carpet picnic (easy for me and fun for them). Anyway my mum comes marching in, flings open the curtains, tells the kids off for not sitting at the table to eat, tells me to not wear pyjamas during the day as its not fair on my husband to come home to (?!) takes my baby out of my arms that I was bottle feeding, sits down, and says to me "Here I'll do that. You can make me a ham sandwich and a coffee." I stood in front of her for a few seconds feeling strangely hurt and disrespected. Then I came to my senses. I took my ds back and stormed off upstairs to feed him in peace. Then I told her to make her own fucking sandwich.

When people aren’t sure ok something so they say, for example “ermmmm I wanna say he had 5 holidays”, but I’m like you are saying! Can’t people say “I think he had 5 holidays”

They cannot understand a bond to any creature outside of their own "pet" definition.

Why they cannot simply stay quiet instead of spouting stupid comments, I don't know.

This didn’t happen to me but my DM. My lovely dad died of cancer in August 2024. My mum has been seeing the same hairdresser for years. Her first time in there she asked how my dad was and my mum said he had passed away. She asked how he died and my mum explained he had had cancer.

So, she proceeded to tell mum all the people she knew had died of cancer also. My poor mum was in tears! She hasn’t been back since and I don’t blame her.

Yep had this too.

Yep 41 and since the age of 38 I have acne. Never had it as a teenager not a single spot. I tried a peel and had a reaction. It left a small burn mark and my cousin decided to tell me the 'truth' about my skin. Her words " I'm sorry but you've fucked your face up. I thought I'd let you know. I mean who the fuck says that to someone who you know is feeling low about their skin. I don't wear makeup never have done. I just dont get the time with 3 kids and 1 of them being epileptic,severely autistic,suffers from migraines and non verbal. This came as a shock to me as she's very obese and often was bullied by the family about her weight and I would talk to her and even got her to go to the gym with me. I was absolutely shocked so I know how you feel. Xx

also boy girl twins and an actual nurse said it to me when I took them for their hip scan!

A friends mum to me: ‘well there was hardly any point in you having a child if you’re putting them in nursery full time’. Coming from a woman who inherited millions, never had to work and had a nanny to ‘help’ her with her own kids.

My nan: ‘oooo have you seen those massive spots on your face?’ - cheers, no, I hadn’t noticed, thanks for letting me know 🙄

Christ on a bike.
Of course the individual words aren’t American!

The day I brought my newborn son home from hospital after having a c section. I hobbled in and my dad was sitting in my kitchen. I mentioned I was hungry and he said 'I think more calories is the LAST thing you need!'

Was in work and an older colleague pointed at another female employee we both worked with, let's call her Brenda. She said 'Brenda is the only good looking member of staff here'. Ohhhhhkay

Also besides the point but there is some controversy about the link between roaccutane and mental health issues.

I was prescribed it many years ago before there was any proposed link and 2 of my DCs have been on it since then - the difference it makes is incredible. The latest consultant I saw was quite dismissive of the mental health concerns and pointed me to this study:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1463189/

If you are on it you get monthly check ups with includes a wellbeing questionnaire so they can quickly stop the dose if you are affected.

I’m blind in one eye.
Asked my manager to make the font bolder and bigger.
She asked.. Have you tried glasses.

I don't blush easily/go red, but I remember having this cunt of a manager in a workplace in the early noughties, and he loved to embarrass people, especially the women. He said to me once, after I had jogged quickly up the steps to the office (as my bus had made me almost late) 'oooh your titties were jiggling about then!' And he was like 😂

I felt embarrassed and angry. (These days I would have reported him for saying this, but younger me took lots of shite at work.) He could see me going red, and said - oooh look everyone BatchCookBabe is going red. All in the chest and neck and everything, like a beetroot.' 😂

Yes, he was a cunt. A prize cunt. Lecherous, ugly in every way, and sly and sneaky. Would throw you under the bus to save his own neck, even if something was his fault.

Assholes. Bless you looking after your sweet old boy💜

Good God. That made my eyes widen 😱

@JillMW · Today 15:59

Oh I had the audacity to let my hair go grey. You would not believe the number of people often complete strangers who approach me to tell me I would look much younger if I dyed my hair.

That is rude. I have to say though, a woman who lives near me is 60, and has had 40-50% grey hair in the 3-4 years I have known her. She has always looked roughly her age, maybe 2-3 years older.

She turned up to the new years day get together at the local pub 5 days ago - with her hair dyed a dark blonde, and I was shocked. She looked 10 years younger. More like 53-54 than 60. So I do think grey hair (on someone under 70) is ageing (sorry.)

However, I would NEVER say so, to anyone. That's the difference. People are entitled to think what they like. They have no right to spout those opinions though, especially if you know it will upset them.

What a nasty thing for that tutor to have said. Bloody fool.

EEEEJITS! People really mean it to, like oh no, I hope it's not a ginge!

I thought we were past all this shite 3 decades ago, or more. Most people I know think ginger is a fab colour for hair, especially as many of them have amazing hair! See attached pics!

The ginger hate is so odd. WTF? 😆 It doesn't make sense.

I don't know why people do this.

One of my A level tutors was generally nice, but one day, while she was talking to our class about the heritability of different eye colours, she ended up mentioning the recessive gene for red hair, and joked that if her adult daughter had picked "the wrong husband", her children could end up with red hair.

People laughed, while the one student with red hair blushed scarlet, but the tutor didn't seem to notice.

I think red hair is beautiful and striking and I don't know why some people not only see it as a negative, but assume everyone else does as well.

I often get strangers making comments about my red face. I find it embarrassing and blush and then they say oh wow it is even worse now!

We have an elderly dog who has gone blind, he has a pram as he obviously.frightened now with his sightloss but still enjoys a quiet stroll out, u have had so many people say how lazy let the dog walk or its a dog not a baby... im just trying to give an old.dog who is otherwise ok a nice quality of life

Sorry it was mumsnet I was on about, not in my real life. Seems like every second person is a qualified armchair therapist on how ND people behave 😉
I didn't elaborate properly so that is on me.

I found your post really interesting and thank you for replying to me. :)

To be honest, your friend doesn't sound very nice so she did you a favour. I hope she treats her patients better!

Did you find friendship with her difficult over the years?

Sometimes, I think (only some) NT people think we have hidden meaning behind our words, like only some NT people do. Like, there is a social dance to hint and elude to things but not actually say it. You can be polite and direct, I find.

Or I am misconstrued in what I say. Also questions are seen as you are questioning them personally or challenging them, when often it is just to understand the situation better.

@housethatbuiltme the name story reminds me of something years ago. I was out with some couple friends, one was pg and had told us she was having a boy. Dh went to the bar and was getting drinks when the conversation turned to names. Our friend had chosen a name and she told us her choice. When dh came back someone piped up 'we were discussing the name X' and dh said ' ha ha imagine the poor fucker with that name'. Everyone was so shocked and embarrassed we all laughed but dh was obviously mortified. They still called the baby that name and we still see them regularly. I still cringe when I think of it. It's actually a very ordinary common name