DUMB SHIT People say

I was at the dentist ( big NHS practice in a rather deprived town a few miles from where I live), discussed my treatment options with the dentist who proceeded to poke around in my mouth. Dental nurse pipes up to ask me what I do for a living, always a bit of an awkward question trying to explain my patchy portfolio career without oversharing various life ups and downs. When I tell her my practical non professional part time job ( that I enjoy ) she is surprised - “ oh I didn’t expect you to say that, you seemed very intelligent when talking to the dentist, we don’t get a lot of that round here”
Not sure whether to be more offended on behalf of myself or the local residents I could only splutter that “ I come from a family of doctors. “ which seemed to satisfy her but made me cringe afterwards.
Kept thinking of better ripostes all the way home.

oh how awful. Don't let her drag you down.
I had Thyroid surgery to remove a lump they thought was cancer, thankfully it was not cancer and I caught Pneumonia from the surgery. On my first day back in the office the first person I saw noticed my neck wound and said oh how disgusting, you should cover that so we can't see it. It's making me feel sick. I didn't even know what to say so just went to my desk, fuming.

Gosh, how rude

Someone recently told me their forehead would look like mine if they didn't have botox. 😆

Wtf that is beyond disturbing

Fuck me, there's a hard drive that needs checked.

4 weeks after having my DD someone asked me when the baby was due. I said I’d already had it and they informed me I still looked pregnant 🤦🏽‍♀️

My dad today said my eldest daughter was 'granny raised' I said my mum had her one day a week when I went back to work !! Anyway, it annoyed me because they refused to help at all when I had my second child which was fine but don't pretend you raised my kids I went without and did it myself.

3 months after my lovely husband died of a heart attack i was at friends daughters gender reveal party. Known him over 40 years been at many family parties with my husband and children. His mum turned to me and said ..oh I hear whats it died, are you over it now?. I was speechless and just walked away. People have said many dumb things to me about him over the last year but that was the worst.

I found out when my daughter was 6 days old i needed to have a prophylactic mastectomy. I had established BF so asked consultant the maximum period i could hold off surgery to continue to feed and they agreed to 4.5 months but needed to be done urgently thereafter. I went to see the HV at 4 months and explained the whole situation and to get advice on weaning onto a bottle - her exact words ‘well what a shame you wont breastfeed until 6 months as we do recommend BF exclusively until then & we dont give advice on bottles’ this was almost 14 years ago and to this day i dont know how i did collapse on the floor in floods of tears, i left the clinic visibly shaken

When I was heavily pregnant I was entering a restaurant with two people i didn't know well. The woman shouted "wide load coming through". She had no children at the time. I wonder if she reflected on her behaviour when she went on to have them.

“oh you’re having twins?! I would have shot my self in the head if I were having twins!”

”My Nan was a twin, her twin died at birth” (told to me as I was an anxious mess during my high risk twin pregnancy)

Brilliant answer! I take my hat off to you!

I don't think women really get as much stick as men for being ginger. Not sure why.

Aged 39 and pregnant with my first an obstetrician/gynaecologist stated that I "presumably had help with this", meaning I couldn't possibly be pregnant at my advanced age without fertility treatment. I said "well, my husband was involved..."

I don't think it is unfair to say that being of normal size is more attractive than being obese. Would 'more attractive' be better wording? FYI would say the same about someone who was underweight gaining weight.

I couldn’t give two hoots either way about Chris Moyles but saying some people ‘get attractive’ when they lose weight is really not a nice thing to say.

It’s awful isn’t it? Different thing but I was consistently told how charming and what good company my sister was. By family friends and other family members. It’s hard to shake off and it’s made me paranoid about my personality.

Whatever the issue making the comparison of one child over the other or favouring one is so terribly harmful. I would say it’s worse for the one being unfavourably compared but that’s probably because it’s my experience! It destroys your self confidence.

I think I’d have to take them aside and have a stern word really.

Even my husband is constantly telling me one of our adult children is such a laugh and everyone tells him what great company he is. I know it’s because he’s basking in the reflected glory but I always push back on it. My other son may not be as charismatic but he absolutely blossoms when someone praises him or shows an interest in him. He also works incredibly hard at things.

Incidentally my charming, gorgeous older sister has glided through life in many ways and people have always looked after her. But eventually many people get fed up with her because she doesn’t make the effort with them as she’s never had to.

Ugh this is awful! And as you say, it’s not good for either of them.

I may have a similar situation with mine (too early to tell with youngest), first child inherited mine and DH’s best features. He has my husband’s gorgeous hair and it gets commented on all the time, a family friend even said, “it’s such a shame, that hair is wasted on a boy” 🙄. Too early to tell yet with second but I am worried they’ll inherit my boring hair, I’m not fussed myself but I know people will make comments/comparisons.

Red hair runs in my family and I'm absolutely gutted that a)I don't have it and b) neither of my children have it. Ginger hair is gorgeous!

I get the definite impression that a gap between the front teeth is seen as a sign of beauty in France.

When having a moisture mask applied at a spa I was told I had a "very three dimensional face". Which I think is code for "you've got a massive conk"

People can be thoughtless pricks. I'm so sorry for your loss 💐💐

The dictionary definition: Dumb: stupid. : showing a lack of intelligence. asking dumb questions.

It's not offensive It's accurate..was it you that asked her the offensive dumb questions?

Definitely! Avoid anything body and face related and compliment on clothes, style etc
It’s hard as on the weight loss threads SO many people feel sad that no-one is saying anything to them about their losses. I say they will definitely be noticing but don’t want to say anything.