DUMB SHIT People say

I delivered that line with deadpan seriousness once. Terrifying to think the mother thought it was a genuine question 😂

Great clip by Richard Osman about being told the obvious, day after day..
www.facebook.com/share/v/1BurC99rTY/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I was once told “cheer up love, it’s Christmas.”

My friend had died the day before in a car crash.

A distant relative, who was an old bag and no one liked her said to me 3 days after having my 4th DS at 43 . " How are you dear" I replied "pretty tired to be honest" Old bag replied " well that will be all the extra weight you're carrying" ...yeah nothing to do with the 3 day old baby who never ever sleeps 😫

"But isn't it lonely? It just seems selfish."

I'm single and childfree. It's neither.

Oh gosh OP this is one where I didn’t want to read and not reply! I feel you. Acne is the worst. I was a long time sufferer and I still have to work on my skin every single day. I can never go out without make up as I just know the comments I will hear.
Roaccutane (more than one course for me) was truly my saviour. And for me, the light at the end of the tunnel that my skin might get better, was enough to over-ride the depression. I have a family history of depression so I totally get the fear. But the light at the end of the tunnel will keep you ok.

Also, I know you don’t want more recommendations - I hear you - I’ve had them all too!!!! (Stop drinking milk, just wash your face with soap, don’t eat crisps etc etc boring yawn etc!!!!) But this foundation is the best (dermatologist recommended - look it up - I’ve had nhs and private dermatologists too and a Harley Street one put me on to this about 15 years ago). And this stockist in Norwich is brilliant too. (I don’t know her personally just found that she stocked it and cheaper than Harley Street and delivers super quick too). Also get the kabuki brush. It goes on like a dream. So light, you won’t know you wearing it and it’s ‘good’ for your skin and spf. Expensive I know, but honestly I wear it every day and one lasts me at least six months. I wear ‘straw’ and I’m a typically paler skin type with dark brown hair. White British if that helps. I’m only on my second brush in the 15 years too.

https://perfectionskinclinic.co.uk/collections/make-up/products/bpc-mineral-pressed-foundation-powder

https://perfectionskinclinic.co.uk/products/bpc-retractable-kabuki-brush?_pos=3&_sid=aec2505ea&_ss=r

Hope that’s helpful and not more dumb shit. Sorry if it’s not.

My son was a late talker(3 before he spoke single words) in a taxi one day and the taxi driver was trying to speak to him, I said he can’t answer you he’s non verbal.. the taxi driver told me I should try talking to him, that’s what he does with his grandson and he can speak full sentences.

Ahhh that’s great, you know, in the 2 and Half years of his life I’ve never spoken a word to him!🤦🏻‍♀️

This one was said to me when I was 14 - I'm 61 now and it STILL rankles!

In the changing rooms of a jean shop (they had dedicated jean shops back then) in Swansea. The sales assistant threw open the saloon style doors, looked me up and down and said "Not doing much for your short legs are they?"'

And from that day forward I grew a lifelong complex about my short legs!

I have genetic deafness. I’ve been profoundly deaf since my late 20s. I’ve had it all:

’Oh, my grandma’s a bit deaf.’
’We were going to buy you an ear trumpet for your birthday as a joke but we weren’t sure you’d like it.’
’There must be SOMETHING you can do to stop it getting worse. Why are you just accepting it?’
’Oh it doesn’t matter.’ Ad nauseam from people who’ve stopped ME in the street to ask directions when I didn’t hear them the first time.. IF I HAVE THE MANNERS TO TRY TO HELP YOU, YOU CAN FUCKING WELL TAKE THE TROUBLE TO REPEAT WHAT YOU SAID FOR ME.
‘Why don’t you make more effort?’ Well bugger me, I thought I was making an effort, every conversation I have with another person requires me to concentrate like mad, for a start.

Unless you are actually American “Dumb Shit” ruins my day as I hate the sheep like copying of American expressions.

Me in my days when I was considerably more overweight, helping myself to some cake at a buffet.
Woman in line behind me: ‘you don’t look like you need that’.

Thanks love.

Also after a year after getting married and of etc, the plumber coming out to fix something and saying 'why aren't you pregnant yet'? All O could meekly say was 'im trying!'

I have found in life when you tell certain people what's happening especially if it's negative, they tell you about someone else they know who is going through the same thing. Then they give you the other person's story or half arsed version, and don't really listen to you anyhow. Like they swoop in and dominate what should be your story. It's made me very reluctant to open up. Examples:
When my Mum had cancer. How's your Mum. Me: up and down, she is on chemo at the moment etc. Other person: my aunts friend is the same.... (long anecdote about someone we don't know)
Surely if we are going to allow ourselves a conversation about the impact of cancer it should be my turn.

Similarly when I had a miscarriage, two of my friends on different occasions were like 'Snap' and told me about a sister and colleague.

Other dumb examples from strangers:
Ooh twins, are they identical (boy/girl)
Are there twins in the family? This i believe is a polite way of asking about fertility treatment.
Is he sleeping? Me: no, not much. Stranger: have you tried X? X being the most obvious thing like a dummy or music.

Years ago, I was working but had been accepted to do a degree course. I told a colleague who was around my age, and she kept telling me that her friend did that degree and that she couldn't find a job and that it wasn't possible to get a job with that degree and on and on it went. Every time I spoke to her she would harp back to how the degree wasn't much use. Even the university I was going to (a respectably, Russel Group) came into disrupted, as her friend went to a different one but the lecturer had written the textbook and I just wasn't going to get that standard where I was going. Ad it happened, that degree set me up for a great career! I did go on to get a more specific qualification but I learned touch from my undergraduate and went on travel a lot with my job and have a great life! I could never understand why anyone would try to piss on my parade so much.

I'm childfree not by choice - the amount of people who ask me as part of small talk if I have kids, then when I reply no say "You're lucky, you can have mine!" or "I don't blame you!"
They have no idea why I am childfree or what my journey has been. It's so insensitive.

A couple of years into my son starting school another school mum who I was reasonably friendly with, let's say Kim - kindly disclosed to me that Karen, another school mum who I didn't know that well thought I 'always looked tired and fed up'. She went on...'Karen said you look absolutely knackered every time she sees you'. I was gobsmacked she'd told me they'd essentially been bitching about me but also as it goes I'm a nurse that works night shifts and frequently do the school run when I've been up all night or in the afternoon when I've had about 3/4hrs sleep then had to get up for the school run so I am fucking knackered as it goes and I don't really need you arse holes making me feel shit for pointing it out to me thank you very much!!

"Oh, you look tired" - my mum every time I see her. I then realised she says it to everyone she speaks too. I think she thinks it sounds caring? I've tried to explain to her that people might find it upsetting but she doesn't get it. Now shes getting on and her memory is a little funny I'll get told I look tired every 30 minutes or so

I have rosacea and during a flare up, my cheeks and nose are very red. I can disguise it with make up, but one day my cousin called round early in the morning before I put my concealer on and before she even said hello, said Your nose is bright red!
Not terrible, but so annoying and inconsiderate, as she knows full well that I have this condition.

I know! Why do folk do that? Why do they think you want to know that?

I had lost 2 stone after some major heart surgery. Really struggled with MH and couldn’t eat or sleep. MiL saw me take a second biscuit and said “are you aiming to put all that weight back on?” This was after she’d told me “Well you had it to lose!”

This is my absolute bugbear. I HATE being told I look tired (unless I’m just about to fall asleep). Why do people say it? It’s just saying you look sh*t.

I was holding my newborn identical twin daughters when a man who I didn’t know (was a friend of a friend) told me how he always had a fantasy of a threesome with twins!

Our local priest told me when I was about 12 that I had the shortest neck he'd ever seen, like WTF.

The amount of dumb stuff I've had said to me since having miscarriages is ridiculous. People obviously just don't know what to say and get it wrong but I'd rather they just said nothing.

• maybe that one was a boy and next time you'll get a girl (i didn't have a preference)
• don't leave too big an age gap, you want them to be friends (they knew I'd had a miscarriage recently)
• breastfeeding causes miscarriages (I breastfed at the time and was still breastfeeding)
• it'll be different when you've got 2 kids (they know I've been unsuccessful in having a 2nd so far)

I'm sorry you were made to feel like crap about your appearance. I never wear any makeup so I've had a fair few comments around that over the years too. People are rude but unfortunately I think many just speak without thinking it through.