Page 19 | DUMB SHIT People say

OneDearFawn · 2026-01-05T21:53:39+00:00

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess. Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit. So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

Bunny44 · 06/01/2026 00:02

Jeanolly · 05/01/2026 23:38

This one was said to me when I was 14 - I'm 61 now and it STILL rankles!

In the changing rooms of a jean shop (they had dedicated jean shops back then) in Swansea. The sales assistant threw open the saloon style doors, looked me up and down and said "Not doing much for your short legs are they?"'

And from that day forward I grew a lifelong complex about my short legs!

I had one a bit like that from a sales assistant who told me my chest was low down... It's a complex that came true post children!

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/01/2026 00:02

QuayshhLawrain · 05/01/2026 23:57

I was 19, and being "chatted up" by a young man in a nightclub. He was getting the impression I wasn't putting much faith in his charm offensive, so he insisted "Come on, let me buy you a drink, I think you're gorgeous - I really like fat girls!" Incredibly, I did not let him buy me a drink...

And you didnt simply lie down and let this prince shag you there and then?! What is WRONG with you woman?!

Beggars belief doesnt it?!

CleaningWoes · 06/01/2026 00:02

My neighbour who has the thickest hair you have ever seen was looking at my peri menopausal thinning hair (not helped by Mounjaro) with great sympathy. Oh she said, I can see your scalp shining through your hair. Yeah thanks for that. She then proceeded to recommend some shampoo that she uses on her already massively thick hair. But oh she said, it's like £30 a bottle and she looked at me with even more sympathy like I'm some cheapo who would never spend money on shampoo. I was raging 😅

ProcrastinatingAlways · 06/01/2026 00:01

I answered the door to a florist whilst holding my two week old baby and he looked down at my protruding stomach and said

‘when’s the baby due?’

😂

Madelinebellpicturemegone · 05/01/2026 23:59

RedFlagsAllOver · 05/01/2026 23:57

Someone said to me the other day oh do you know Sarah works in sainsburys? I said no, they don't really mix with us cleaners. They look down their nose at us. He replied oh that's fair enough.

Right ok 🙄

Aye and they'd be the first to complain if toilets weren't clean etc.
You have my sympathies as my DW is a supermarket cleaner.

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/01/2026 23:59

GarlicBreadStan · 05/01/2026 22:46

"You don't look autistic"

What do autistic people look like? 🤔

Similar said by my childhood friend who is a very experienced primary school teacher:
"My mum just can't believe you are autistic."

I wanted to say, "well that just tells us how little your mum knows about autism'"

And then later, my friend said "I'm pretty sure DC2 has ADHD but I don't want to get them assessed because I think it will disadvantage them to have a label." My heart absolutely sinks when teachers are dismissive about neurodivergence and don't understand the importance of ADHD treatment. Also young people don't see any stigma in it, whereas mature adults, like my friend, do.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 05/01/2026 23:58

A couple I remember - one, just after I'd had a miscarriage (I already had dc1) - "oh don't leave it too long to have another child will you, they won't be close unless you have them close together."

The other one - someone said X and I looked alike. "Oh no they don't, X is really pretty."

Thirdtimeunlucky2025 · 05/01/2026 23:57

He didn’t say it but DBro wrote, hope you have many more to come in my Christmas card (currently having surgery for breast cancer). Also, when DM told him, he rang me up and asked if I was having them both off. 🤦‍♀️

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/01/2026 23:57

Are there twins in the family? This i believe is a polite way of asking about fertility treatment.

In fairness I dont think that this is about fertility treatment. Its well known that twins are more likely in families that already have twins down the maternal line. In my family me and two of my female cousins all got pregnant with twins, sadly only one full set made it, one of mine survived and none of the other cousins did. And there has been at least two sets per generation going back until the late 1800's. My Grandmother told me how annoyed she got when people kept saying it to her when they knew her mother had had twins and this was in the 40's, well before IVF etc!

Original poster

OneDearFawn · 05/01/2026 23:57

HiCandles · 05/01/2026 23:49

In the middle of yet another epic tantrum from 3yo DS, very overstimulated from PIL and others visiting, DH and I frazzled by hosting all weekend plus younger baby too. I said to MIL, any tips, how did you manage your children's tantrums? 4 kids so thought she'd have some experience and wisdom - normally only too keen to share her stories. She responded 'none of mine ever had tantrums, but then it's different these days with you working and him going to nursery'. WTF. Are you seriously trying to make me feel more shit by somehow suggesting tantrums are a modern invention because mums work?! I mean I do get that after nursery in the evening they're tired etc but that wasn't what she meant. It was a judgement on me working and using paid childcare.

Normally, ohhh too keen to share a story. I can tell you have an interesting MIL. She was triple threat attacking. You work, they tantrum and they go to nursery. My mum didn’t work and she’s like hats off to all these women who are juggling everything now as I barely could remember to finish eastenders omnibus shed tape and pick you kids up at finishing time.

OP posts:

QuayshhLawrain · 05/01/2026 23:57

I was 19, and being "chatted up" by a young man in a nightclub. He was getting the impression I wasn't putting much faith in his charm offensive, so he insisted "Come on, let me buy you a drink, I think you're gorgeous - I really like fat girls!" Incredibly, I did not let him buy me a drink...

NotThisAgain1987 · 05/01/2026 23:57

Minty25 · 05/01/2026 23:17

I have to deal with a lot of older people as part of my job. many are well into their mid- late nineties. Many have a few mobility problems/ arthiritis heart problems etc. . So many times they say to me " I never ever thought I'd end up like this ". I honestly want to ask them well what did you think you'd be like if you lived to a great age, did you just think you would carry on doing ten mile hikes forever and nipping up the stairs like a twenty year old ? Of course I don't and I probably am just being mean but everytime I hear it I just think what on earth did they expect ?

Perhaps some reflective practice would be helpful her we, it's unlikely they thought that they'd stay completely mobile, but there's a massive difference between knowing mobility will change and actually experiencing that debilitating cha Ng getting. Have a little compassion.

RedFlagsAllOver · 05/01/2026 23:57

Someone said to me the other day oh do you know Sarah works in sainsburys? I said no, they don't really mix with us cleaners. They look down their nose at us. He replied oh that's fair enough.

Right ok 🙄

ProcrastinatingAlways · 05/01/2026 23:57

honeyfox · 05/01/2026 23:22

Our local priest told me when I was about 12 that I had the shortest neck he'd ever seen, like WTF.

That’s funny!

sleepwouldbenice · 05/01/2026 23:55

Sorry for all the crap comments you have had

The Mumsnet classic line “did you mean to be so rude?” Springs to mind….

StillHoldingOn · 05/01/2026 23:54

'You don't look malnourished ' from a medical professional when I told him about my recent eating disorder diagnosis.

batsh1ttery · 05/01/2026 23:51

Stranger (older lady) at a bus stop talking about baby DD: “Awww, is she yours?”
Me “Yes”
Stranger “Oh! Well you just look at her beautiful little face and then you look at yours… you just wouldn’t put them together would you?”
I was speechless and 22 years old.

reversegear · 05/01/2026 23:50

Dumb shit people say to me, I have 2 Bernese mountain dogs.. the first thing people ask is is Bermese, St. Bernard etc and I’m always kind and let them know.

Then they light up with the one piece of information they know ..

”oh they don’t live long do they”

My DH has to stop me from saying that’s correct and then asking so when are you going to die?

Fancy telling a pet owner the one horrid fact they are already fully aware of. Idiots.

HiCandles · 05/01/2026 23:49

In the middle of yet another epic tantrum from 3yo DS, very overstimulated from PIL and others visiting, DH and I frazzled by hosting all weekend plus younger baby too. I said to MIL, any tips, how did you manage your children's tantrums? 4 kids so thought she'd have some experience and wisdom - normally only too keen to share her stories. She responded 'none of mine ever had tantrums, but then it's different these days with you working and him going to nursery'. WTF. Are you seriously trying to make me feel more shit by somehow suggesting tantrums are a modern invention because mums work?! I mean I do get that after nursery in the evening they're tired etc but that wasn't what she meant. It was a judgement on me working and using paid childcare.

Original poster

OneDearFawn · 05/01/2026 23:48

BootsandCatss · 05/01/2026 23:39

My son was a late talker(3 before he spoke single words) in a taxi one day and the taxi driver was trying to speak to him, I said he can’t answer you he’s non verbal.. the taxi driver told me I should try talking to him, that’s what he does with his grandson and he can speak full sentences.

Ahhh that’s great, you know, in the 2 and Half years of his life I’ve never spoken a word to him!🤦🏻‍♀️

Like that had never occurred to you to try, I despair!

OP posts:

Original poster

OneDearFawn · 05/01/2026 23:47

jwoo23 · 05/01/2026 23:40

Oh gosh OP this is one where I didn’t want to read and not reply! I feel you. Acne is the worst. I was a long time sufferer and I still have to work on my skin every single day. I can never go out without make up as I just know the comments I will hear.
Roaccutane (more than one course for me) was truly my saviour. And for me, the light at the end of the tunnel that my skin might get better, was enough to over-ride the depression. I have a family history of depression so I totally get the fear. But the light at the end of the tunnel will keep you ok.

Also, I know you don’t want more recommendations - I hear you - I’ve had them all too!!!! (Stop drinking milk, just wash your face with soap, don’t eat crisps etc etc boring yawn etc!!!!) But this foundation is the best (dermatologist recommended - look it up - I’ve had nhs and private dermatologists too and a Harley Street one put me on to this about 15 years ago). And this stockist in Norwich is brilliant too. (I don’t know her personally just found that she stocked it and cheaper than Harley Street and delivers super quick too). Also get the kabuki brush. It goes on like a dream. So light, you won’t know you wearing it and it’s ‘good’ for your skin and spf. Expensive I know, but honestly I wear it every day and one lasts me at least six months. I wear ‘straw’ and I’m a typically paler skin type with dark brown hair. White British if that helps. I’m only on my second brush in the 15 years too.

https://perfectionskinclinic.co.uk/collections/make-up/products/bpc-mineral-pressed-foundation-powder

https://perfectionskinclinic.co.uk/products/bpc-retractable-kabuki-brush?_pos=3&_sid=aec2505ea&_ss=r

Hope that’s helpful and not more dumb shit. Sorry if it’s not.

Thank you!! I’d love roaccuntane but apparently they won’t prescribe if you have a history of depression or I’d be on it tomorrow! Thanks for the recommendation

OP posts:

nOlives · 05/01/2026 23:47

Pharmacist always loudly announces what my prescription is for.
When I picked up for a family member she also mentioned loudly some of his previous prescriptions which honestly you wouldn't want people knowing, and he wouldn't expect me to know either.

MarmaladeSandwichUnderMyHat · 05/01/2026 23:46

itstrue · 05/01/2026 23:23

I was holding my newborn identical twin daughters when a man who I didn’t know (was a friend of a friend) told me how he always had a fantasy of a threesome with twins!

That’s so grim 🤢

pinkstripeycat · 05/01/2026 23:45

HoskinsChoice · 05/01/2026 22:50

@OneDearFawn There is a certain irony in your OP. Are you not aware that the word 'dumb' is highly offensive in the context you have used it? Maybe consider your own words before criticising others.

Ummmm dumb means thick or stupid or thoughtless so OP has used the word correctly.

Jeanolly · 05/01/2026 23:44

Oh and another one - again in Swansea strangely enough (because by then I didn't live there). I'd gone down in the school summer holidays to help my mother who'd broken her arm. Not the best of ideas as I was 8 months pregnant.

Lo and behold, I went into labour when down there and gave birth to dc4. The attending doctor said I needed stitches and would be back presently to do them.

In the meantime, I had a bath, washed my hair and put some make up on. Eventually the doc came back, looked at me and said "where is the baby's mother?" I'm not one of life's natural beauties but I hadn't realised that, without makeup, I looked so awful that he didn't even recognise me!

Have had a complex about being seen without make up ever since! I'm thinking I should avoid going to Swansea ever again ...