DUMB SHIT People say

I go to a local slimming club group every week- sometimes I have make up on sometimes not depending on what I have been doing that day. Every time I go without make up the woman on the till says , you look really tired. In the end I told her, its because i have no make up on , you say that every time. It hasnt stopped her.

‘Dumb’ does still mean unable to speak - as in ‘deaf and dumb’.

The use of dumb meaning stupid hs come from America, where it arose from German immigrants, since ‘dumm’ in German does mean stupid.
(Presumably the words come from the same original root).

I dare say many people on both sides of the pond don’t now realise that ‘dumb’ does also mean ‘unable to speak’. In a novel I sold to an American publisher I had used the term ‘dumb animals’ - which used to be a well known expression - in reference to a character’s dog. The American editor wrote in the margin ‘Dogs are not dumb!’

Suppose I shouldn’t have been slightly shocked that an editor didn’t know the other meaning, but I was,

Oh they never are are they? That’s the key to knowing someone is a twat, them saying they’re nice.

My OH says ‘I’m a nice guy.’ All the time - he’s anything but a nice guy.
Those social media scruffs! ‘I’m always getting hurt and I’m just a good, kind hearted person.’ No you’re not, you’ve never had a job, you don’t let your child see their Dad and you spend all day doing your make up to post for likes, you’re not a good person!

Putting the offensive into "charm offensive" there! How did you manage to resist?

I have suffered cystic acne quite a bit throughout my 20s/30s and the amount of times I've been told to "just wash my face with soap" is unbelievable.

It is usually from other women too, and they usually do try and offer advice and tips after realising they shouldn't have brought up my appearance. None of it wanted.

I went to see the gynecologist for hrt, early onset menopause. After telling him of my ivf struggles and premature ovarian failure he asked me if I'd thought of adopting 🙄 no dr of course not, why would I not explore all avenues open to me. Ffs. Wish I'd complained.

A man once said to me after I had told him my son is autistic: “He can’t be, he’s so handsome.” 😂 honestly I can’t even be arsed to be offended.

I lost a lot of weight when I was away at uni so when my mum saw me again some 6 months later she felt safe to tell me how pleased she is with the weightloss as I had a back hump and looked so wide from the back and waddled when I walked all while making animated gestures to describe how I looked. In her eyes she looked like she genuinely thought it was a compliment.

I had a fringe and when I pinned it back I was told how much better I looked without it.

Is it? Honestly I had no idea so I doubt OP does. It’s not really a word I use anyway but I didn’t know it was offensive.

I agree with this. I also think they do it to try and cover up their own insecurities. Their comments don’t come from a good place so it only highlights the bad within them.

Not one of my stories but a colleague's. Her son has a form of dwarfism so is very small for his age, a teacher at the school asked if she'd ever tried feeding him!

I pulled up a colleague, gently, who keeps saying self-deprecating comments that while they are busy, it’s not as busy as me for example, with a kid.

I bet someone put that thought in their head.

I told her that I don’t know anyone that isn’t busy these days no matter what they have going on, kid or no kid.

How?

I can only assume you have a vague understanding that it use to be used to refer to a disability. It literally translated as 'mute' but people no longer use it that way due to confusion it created... but that clearly has nothing to do with the OP post, she literally said the person she was speaking to said the words to her face.

Dumb in this context clearly means 'stupid/ignorant/unintelligent' which is a different word.

The origins of those two words is different they just sound/spelled the same (like how Too & Two or Right or Write or Tear & Tear or Lead & Lead). In their original form they where even spelled different (Dumb vs Dumm) and when anglicized they where changed to be spelled the same but they have never meant the same thing.

Hearing something and instantly assuming it must be offensive because you only have mild awareness of one meaning and jumping to the assumption it must mean 'people who can't speak are unintelligent' would ironically be a 'dumb' thing to say though. Unfortunately it was a common dumb thing to say hence why no one creates that confusion anymore.

If your just part of the 'be kind' movement and mean 'stupid' as in 'they said something ignorant' is a negative term to refer to the rude person then yes, thats literally the point. Negative words exist to describe negative situations, people do not need to 'be kind' to people who weren't kind to them.

I keep snakes and I find that people somehow think that they don't count as real pets that I might love and be attached to. They'll tell me about the time they ate snake meat in Vietnam or killed a sand boa on a golf course in Saudi Arabia, or worse, say "Oh, I bet he'd make a great pair of shoes!" and expect me to find it funny. People can be such dicks.

TBF they might not have expected to live to such a great age.

Not so long ago it was more common for people to pop off in their 70s with a heart issue or something else that can be managed now. Fewer people survived long enough to have the sort of problems extreme age can bring.

You’d be really beautiful if it wasn’t for your teeth!😩

My teeth aren’t straight but they’re not that bad 😒 I regret not getting braces when younger but I was scared of being even more bullied (as did happen in the 70s).

My dentist once said "Oh don't you have a high roof to your mouth". Like, how would I know? It's the only mouth I have ever had, I don't know what other people's mouths feel like.

I think we have the same neighbour 😅

I posted this on the wrong thread, so I'll post it again.

I have no family other than my elderly parents (M83, F89). I bought a few rolls of Christmas paper in the sales. I said I might go back and get a couple more.

My Dad said 'Why? You won't be wrapping any presents in a few years when you're on your own''

Thanks.

I'm painfully aware of that.

I always have been.

Told my husbands nana that we were pregnant and before she even said congratulations she said “oh I know your cousin and his wife will be so disappointed as they’ve been TTC” They fell pregnant about 3/4 months after we did and we found out they’d not been TTC for too long when we fell on 🙄🙄

Some of the most insensitive/rude/unpleasant things I've ever hear people say were at parent and baby groups when my DC were small. If was being generous I might think perhaps it was the exhaustion of being a new parent making people forget to think before they speak. A few examples:

• Mum1 had a boy and was pregnant with her second child. Mum2 asked if she was hoping for a girl this time. Mum 1 replied 'We're not bothered. As long as it's not ginger, ha ha.' Said whilst sitting with me (a red head) and another mother with a baby with red hair. Mum1 then asked the mum of the red haired baby 'was it obvious as soon as he was born'.
• A few parents were discussing schools and local areas to live. Mum3 lived on a small relatively new housing estate that seemed to be considered a desirable choice. She commented 'Yes, we've been there for 10 years and never had a problem but some gays have moved in next door so we think we'll have to move- I mean it's not right round children is it.' A horrible comment at the best of times but she seemed oblivious to the fact that two of the mum's in the room were a couple.
• One mum came along with a baby who had spent many weeks in hospital a birth and had numerous medical procedures. Mum 4 commented 'You're lucky though, you could go home and have a good sleep'

We're childfree after TTC for 8 years unsuccessfully and a relative who's aware of the situation told me she knows what it's like because it took her 4 months to conceive her first child when she was 20. She then said we're lucky in a way because she regrets having children anyway despite going on to have 5 of them.

@AquaForce · Today 07:21

My friend was with her son in his buggy. A woman told her not to worry, it had taken her a long time to lose the baby weight as well.

That's bad enough but what's worse is, he's adopted. That lead to a very awkward question where she asked me if she was fat 😳

Cheeky fucking cow. (The woman who offered her unwanted obnoxious and rude opinion, not your friend!) I mean, seriously, who do some people think they are?!

None of us wear make up to look worse? I think you're being over sensitive.

I actually crumpled into myself with the awkwardness and awfulness of this 🫣