DUMB SHIT People say

not the point but have you seen a dermatologist ? Not through the GP , but gone private?
I had awful skin issues, back and forth to doctor, eventually took a punt, splurged and booked a consultant. He as he put it ‘hit it with a sledge hammer’ and prescribed stuff my GP wouldn’t have been able to. Problem solved, I now just maintain. The NHS can only take you so far IME.

I was getting breakfast at a hotel buffet and a woman rudely said to me “you need to top those plates up, they’ve almost run out!!” I said “I don’t work here!” She said “you look like you do!”

Thanks - the dress I had chosen and thought was very glamorous looked like the hotel logo trousers, shirt and apron the breakfast staff were wearing! 🤣🤣🤣

I hear you OP, people can be absolutely ridiculous about skin conditions. My DH suffered terribly with his skin and the comments he got were unbelievable (he was originally diagnosed with cystic acne but eventually it turned out to be pustular rosacea so ivermectin has been transformative). I thought maybe people thought he'd mind less because he's a man (not true in any case) but it seems they're just as crappy to women ☹️

Oh I’ve been there with the acne! I hope it improves for you. I got told by I random man on the bus I’d be “quite fit if it wasn’t for all the spots” - mortifying. Also years ago my appendix burst and I had a severe infection. I lost almost two stone in a month (starting weight was 9stone 7lbs) - first day back at work a colleague felt the need to tell me I looked so much better without the extra weight!

I had a friend I used to meet up with quite often for nights out. No matter how long I’d taken on dressing up and make up etc, she’d always say a cheery “how are you? You look tired.” Great confidence booster.

this! my cystic acne was caused by an underactive thyroid, also in my late 20's

@Luckyingame I agree with you.

I haven't read the whole thread sorry but just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about the insensitive comments that @OneDearFawn and other people with skin problems experience. One of my sons has severe psoriasis which is physically very unpleasant for him, but I think it's the psychological effects that are worse and it's the comments and reactions of other people which fuel that. Some people are just downright horrible. Nobody should have to feel they must hide themselves whether that is with make up or literally not leaving the house for days as my DS won't during a flare up.
I've never really understood the compulsion that some people seem to have to comment on the health issues of others. I have a long term condition myself and get sick of listening to judgments and unsolicited advice from random people. Often what I want to say is "Look, you idiot, I have lived with this for years, had numerous operations, taken many different drug combinations and lost count of the number of doctors I've seen. Oh, and being a doctor myself I am probably better placed than many patients to access information and help. Do you really think that if there was a herb I can buy in Holland & Barratt, a "simple trick" you read about on the internet or a meditation app that would cure me I wouldn't have done that? And yes, I have tried sodding yoga." But what I actually do is smile and say "Thanks, I'll look into that" because most people are actually well intentioned and if they're not, giving them a piece of my mind probably won't change anything. But it is extremely annoying.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Many years ago as a student stayed over night at a friend's unscheduled as I missed a bus. In the morning 2 girls called over to my friend and I said I was embarrassed in the same clothes etc, I was rubbing a stain off my trousers. One girl offered to pop home and get me a change of clothes and I said thanks but they wouldn't fit me. She said oh don't be silly of course they will, and tried to insist. I know she meant well but this girl was tiny, like size 6 and I was big girl, it was mortifying having to explain this to a group especially two I hardly knew. I know we all say dumb stuf occasionally but that one stayed with me.

I once met up with my sister at a train station, prior to going somewhere together.

We hadn't seen each other for a good few months prior to that.
First thing she said, "I absolutely hate your trousers!"
Charming.

I think that’s so weird that they would say that to you isn’t it? If you’re in a senior role then you’re obviously doing the job right and the job before that right I assume. People are so strange, I met a woman recently with the deepest voice I have ever heard on a man or a woman and it really took me by surprise but I can’t even imagine for a second making any sort of comment, in fact I spent the whole time we were talking internally checking myself that I wasn’t being socially awkward! I think the work rude would be better in this context because I think unless you’re completely thick then you’re choosing to be rude really. I bet you would love to tell them to fuck off. Is it often men that make the suggestion?

It’s not exactly PC to make personal comments in the 21st century 😳

I was being chatted up in a pub when I was 19. I then introduced him to my twin sister. When I was out of ear shot as I had stepped aside he asked her how she handled being my twin with me being so stunning and all. We are IDENTICAL and frequently get mixed up. I guess he really didn't like her outfit. We are also not particularly stunning, just average.

I have eczema that goes everywhere (although that’s calmed down since cutting gluten and focusing on gut health) and the amount of stupid comments I’d get. So I really feel for you.

I’d get the ‘Oh your skin is bad, isn’t it?’ Like thanks! When you are trying to ignore it and forget about it. My estranged mother in law would like to say something when she could see I was happy or enjoying myself, just to make sure I was put back in my place.

Hope you find something that helps. It’s not just the look of skin conditions it’s the pain they come with that I found so frustrating that people didn’t understand.

I suffer with eczema and VERY sensitive skin and at times my face is bright red and/or very blotchy. It’s always dry and on a bad day/the days following a bad flare up it’s visibly so, often flaking. On the worst days, someone invariably comments on it. Mostly ‘kindly’ as in, “Oh, that looks painful!” It is but given the only thing that gets me to leave the house is telling myself it looks worse to me and it isn’t as bad as I think I would appreciate people staying quiet.

On a lighter note, I had a housemate at
uni who, every time one of us was ready for a night out, would say, “Ooh, you look nice!” in the most shocked tone ever which implied we looked so dreadful the rest of the time that it didn’t seem possible we could look good.

I know what she said was a bit hurtful, but she may be on to something. I had terrible cyctic acne when I was in my late twenties. I tried everything and nothing helped. Anyway, after suffering for a few years I found out I had a overactive thryoid (which is an autoimmune disease). Once this condition was under control my skin cleared up and I haven't had an issue. I think skin issues (especilly cystic acne) are often caused by underlying health / hormone issues so it would definately be worth speaking to a doctor about it and getting some blood tests, and even seeing a homeopath if the GP isnt very helpful.

Sadly you come across here, as being in the wrong. Not your clients.

So desperately sorry @TheQuirkyPombear 💐

People are fucking horrible about acne, OP. No amount of body positivity managed to get on top of that one. She would have been hanged, drawn and quartered for offering an obese person 'lifestyle' advice to lose weight, but people's bullshit opinions and insensitivity are still fair game with acne for some reason.

Oh god, where to start. In a similar vein to yours, when I was at uni I worked as well to keep a horse on DIY livery so was there at arse o’clock in the morning every day. Always chatted with another girl who was nice enough and hadn’t long been there but was a bit spoiled, lived with her rich bf and contributed nothing to mortgage bills etc. always done up. Fair enough.

One day for whatever reason we were there at the same time in the afternoon (we weren’t usually due to shifts etc) and I was going out after so had done my hair and makeup and she stopped dead and just said deadpan “I didn’t know you were pretty?!”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing to be fair, I know I’m not a morning person and it did tickle me, she did apologise when she realised how it sounded blurted out in shock like that 😂

The other one I get ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME which does actually tick me off, I have severe Crohn’s in my small intestine, as such I don’t have typical symptoms as it’s more unusual to have it as high up as I do so my food bottlenecks there, I physically can’t eat very much in one sitting. I’ve been on all the immunosuppressants, injectables, infusions etc. This is as good as it gets. Before it was under control with these hefty drugs I could easily drop 3 stone in 6 weeks and I was never more than about 11 stone tops anyway at 5’6 so it was quite noticeable to people if they hadn’t seen me for a while and they’d ask if I was ok and I’d give them a brief answer I was having a flare up, particularly if they didn’t know I had the disease. It’s not a secret but I don’t tell everybody like it’s part of my personality or anything.

if I had a quid for every time (including friends, family, in laws, employers) said “oh I wish I had that!”

Aye Sharon, I’ll remember your goal dress size next time I’m hospitalised for 3 weeks vomiting blood annd bile and on eleventy billion drips. I’ll send you the prep for my next colonoscopy if you like, 2 doses of Moviprep to clear you out I promise you’ll be begging for it to end and that’s before they’ve but a camera anywhere NEAR your special areas 🤣

“Bloody hell, she’s absolutely stunning! Are you sure she’s yours?!”

Said about my DD….

Who is conceived by donor eggs and donor sperm….

Triple whammy there!

People in general (not all of them, but most) are cruel, frustrated bastards.
When they talk like that, they momentarily feel better since they have problems with themselves.
I'm slowly planning to become a recluse, when practically possible. 😊

@StephensLass1977 People are unbelievable! I was also a skinny size 8/10, but still had the jelly belly. Because, well, it had been six hours!

I assume the chap was on his way to visit a new mum. Poor woman!

@Noodge A full one 😂😂. You could have said No, just weekdays. I devour men at the weekend.