My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

I took a day off when my pet died. Partially so I can get rid of all items with blood.
People are different

I think it’s unfair to decide someone else’s grief should be compatible with your own. There’s lots of factors within this, her mental health prior to the death, her reliance on the animal for support/friendship, the amount she loves the pet, the length of time she has had the pet, how the pet died, how stressful her job role is, whether it is customer facing, her support network, ability to manage difficult emotions, way of managing grief. You would do it differently and that’s fine too it’s not a competition one way is not better than the other.

If you wanted to take leave to process the death of your pet I guess that would depend on your works policy but presumably given your manager has taken leave yes you could if you wanted to.

Totally different situation but two friends both recent lost a parent, one was back at work 8 days after the death the other has been off 3 weeks and has been signed off another two weeks. Neither is right or wrong.

I’m on the fence. I’m a pet owner (2 dogs, 2 cats). I’ve never taken a day off work when one of them has died but it’s highly questionable whether I was any good at work on that particular day. I remember one day when I lost one of my much-loved cats and I was on a professional blue light driving course. I was taken off a drive because of it because my concentration was so bad.

I’ve had pets that have outlived my marriage and seen me through very difficult times. It’s difficult to explain to non-pet people that a long relationship with a pet can mean as much to some people as a relationship with a person. Many people see their pets and spend more 1-2-1 time with them than they do adult siblings! I would, and have, allowed an employee to take a day off at discretion because of the loss of their dog.

However, even I consider it exceptional and would not expect to give a day off from work apart from immediately on the day of the loss (or maybe the following day if it was the previous evening).

I’ve lost both parents, both sets of grandparents, and multiple aunts/uncles in my lifetime (I’m 50), including my adored mum when I was 18. I’m no fragile walkover and only ever used a couple of days compassionate leave to sort out logistics for funerals, etc.

It’s all about balance. Someone who needs a week off because their hamster died probably needs some professional help! I can have empathy for someone over their dog though. As long as people don’t take the piss, the world is a nicer place with empathy in it.

Ive taken days off work for losing pets. It can be so devastating.

You are. Well done for realising

The key question is whether it was taken as annual leave?

Well aren't you lovely? Jesus 🙄

By all means take a day off but for it to be treated as bereavement leave is ridiculous.

I love my dog more than most relatives. I would need tiem off when he dies but not when family members die. Why do you need everyone to feel the same way you do?

I didn't take time off when my dog died as I preferred to keep busy, but I could understand someone who did. I haven't for my cats either; my dog and one cat died at weekends, when I had to have a cat PTS on a work day I was at my desk in floods of tears not much use to anyone, so I have every sympathy for OP's manager.

I can see that if it was part of a pattern of leave-of-absence for reasons that wouldn't automatically demand it, it might give cause for concern, but if someone's attendance is otherwise good, I would not have a problem with it.

If refused, there would be nothing to stop them self-certifying sickness for the period anyway.

Wow that’s pretty amazing!

I remember when my darling wonderful Dad died and I came back after breavement leave (think I had a week ish). My colleague told me her dog died and she was also feeling sad.

And in that moment you know what I felt?

Compassion. Because I am not an arsehole.

You lack empathy. Shame as one day you may need some yourself.

The poor woman obviously felt unable to work, which is completely understandable.

You sound horrible.

It's not a competition.

If you don't feel well enough to be at work then you can always get yourself signed off.

Yeah I do think you're being a bit of an asshole actually. You did ask!
Peoples pets are their companions, by their side for many years, of course it's upsetting when they die, especially if it was not a nice death or unexpected.
If you're so upset you're not going to be concentrating on work.
If it doesn't affect you why post about it? You should try having some compassion, you might be in need of it someday.
Bit risky too given your boss could be on here.

I think it depends on why she needed the day. I don’t think one day will make any difference to how upset she might be feeling but when our dog passed I had to book in at the pet crematorium 20 miles away and take him there so needed to do that during normal working hours. It was classed as emergency annual leave so came out of my holiday entitlement

Did they get paid bereavement leave? Seems unlikely, but if so I assume the same applies to all staff.
Look out kitties!

Or, did they take their own time off that they are entitled to (holiday or unpaid) the same way anyone could for whatever reason as long as their manager agreed? In which case, why do you even care?

What does her being the manager have to do with it? Everyone has the same rights at work whether or not they manage.