My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

Wow, you are an unsympathic, uncompassionate person. I hope I don't work with you in real life.

Managers are human beings with feelings as well. If anyone, manager, CEO or otherwise wants to use their annual leave to grieve the passing of a beloved pet why shouldn't they?

It's not "slacking off"! Taking a paid sick day when hungover / because kids are sick / car broken down, aka not actually sick is slacking off. You manager is perfectly entitled to use their annual leave as they see fit so that when they are in work they can concentrate on their job.

I don't see a problem with someone taking an unplanned annual leave day. Purpose is irrelevant unless it's to avoid something specific and the reason is a piss take.

I don't agree with breavement leave for pets but if someone wants to take it as annual leave, no issue with that.

Do you know all the details op? Was it an elderly dog who died quietly after an illness? Was it a sudden traumatic thing? Does she have young children who need support to handle it? If you don't know all the details then YABU. Even if it was a perfectly standard pts situation, ya still bu, everyone handles things differently.

I suppose forget the reason and see it is a general poor mental health day.

I read something recently that in some areas dog ownership amongst young couples outweighs that of having children. Dogs are often treated like “babies” so I imagine in that sense it would take a couple of days or more to emotionally deal with things

It's not the trauma Olympics, I took have been through lots of traumatic things in my life but I really could not care less if someone needs a couple of days because their dog died. Who are you to judge? You don't know what else could have been happening and maybe this was the last straw. Either way, you need to get over yourself.

How do you know everything that is going on in her life and her mental health? How do you know the dog dying wasn’t just the tip over of bigger things she is dealing with. So quick to bloody judge. Also, dogs can be peoples worlds and can absolutely feel the same as a death of a family member. You don’t know or can’t control how people feel or deal with things. Glad I don’t work with you.

I also knew someone who took a week sick paid when her dog died and the only thing I felt was sorry for her. I certainly didn't feel jealous of her dog dying! It was sad because she felt she had to explain to everyone how shit she felt like it wasn't justified.

My colleague had a day off when her house rabbit died.

Everyone was sympathetic. Because we aren’t a bunch of shitty bastards.

Hopefully this indicates that you have a compassionate and thoughtful employer, who takes into account people’s different needs. She needs need time and space for this, you might need it for something else. And if/when you do, you can reflect on whether other people are ‘arseholes’ for judging you.

@IwishIwasacaterpillar it is not at all ridiculous. How insensitive are you?

"grief has no rule book"

Do you really mean that?

Or if I come in and say "my grandfather died 30 years ago and I dreamt about him last night - it's brought back so much, I need three weeks off" would you tell me to get in or get sacked?

I think that people need to develop resilience and they need to learn to keep things in proportion, and they need to be encouraged to develop resilience.

I would take annual leave on this occasion. I would be really upset. If she has taken annual leave, you are getting involved with something that is none of your business.

For people saying people should get time of for death of pets does this only include cats and dogs or would you feel the same if a colleague took a week of for a goldfish or a hamster or stick insect? Just curious 🤔

My dog passed away years ago and I took annual leave. When my manager’s dog passed away, I have no idea what leave she took, as her leave-taking is none of my business and strictly between her and her boss. But I did make it my business to show a bit of empathy.

I feel sorry for her. You're an arsehole.

I cried more for my cat than for my mother. My mum had dementia, so we had been grieving slowly for years and the death was a release. I went to work the next day and was fine. Grief is a funny thing, and I’d rather show compassion than judge.

Perhaps you should be taking time off, to look after yourself and be a bit less aggravated at a poor woman who lost her dog.

Throwing stones OP.

Yes. To use your exact words, are being an arsehole. You asked. But then you already know that. You’re in good company on this thread it seems .

Thank you for saying that and relating. It can be hard to navigate can’t it?

well hopefully you aren’t anyone’s manager - I can’t imagine anyone being so devoid of compassion being a very good one.

Whats it to you?

Can you not survive a day without your boss?

Pets dying can trigger all sorts of suppressed emotion and grief.
A good friend of mine died very suddenly and in horrible circumstances a few years ago, I was back at work on Monday morning. I carried on like a robot for three weeks, then I had to have my beloved cat PTS and I just went to pieces and had to take a week off work.
It’s very rarely ‘just’ a pet.

So you are asking whether it is ridiculous for a colleague to take today off at short notice, when it hasn't inconvenienced you, and you don't know whether it was AL, sick leave, or whatever (not that it's any of your business, as you're not her manager)?

Presumably you don't expect all your colleagues to work 24/7/365, so are just annoyed by her reason for taking time off. Maybe she told you in order to explain the short notice, or because she thought you might sympathise. If the latter, she's misjudged you.

That's insane you only get 2 weeks when your child dies if you want any longer it has to be sick leave