Mothers get ire no matter what we do. I find it tends to lessen as kids get older, though there are some intense debates on adult children around here.
We're also in a culture that for decades has progressively made success, ambition, 'living our best life' and so on only something we do through paid work, even though we're also a culture and society that relies on people volunteering even within employment for things to function & most people's ideas of enjoying life is often what we do outside of work/what the work is paying for.
I've been SAHP and WOHP, as has my husband. We've both had ire in different ways, his to a lesser extent and largely around what I should be doing though he's had the weirder shite while being a SAHP like mothers using him as a threat to get their kids to behave. I don't think it has to do with jealousy in most cases - I think quite a bit of it is disagreement that is being interpreted as hate and that culturally, many things have become 'sides' or 'camps' to either defend or attack that can be hard to disengage from.
For example, it' very common to discuss the risks of being a SAHP. It's not an assumption that it's risky to financially depend on another, it's just a fact that there are certain risks there and that SAHP have a different risk assessment to consider compared to parents who are in paid employment. Both have risks, different risks depending on the situation, and risks that can change - and rather than discuss both, it tends to devolve into dismissing the risks entirely. That doesn't help anything.
They don't want to do the work we need doing. They don't want to move to where the jobs are....We have loads of areas where we need workers
I agree we have loads of areas that has work that needs doing and in desperate need of more skilled workers - but are those areas actually able and willing to hire British young people?
Engineering and cyber security notoriously are training a glut, but as you mentioned, companies tend to recruit abroad. It's not because there aren't young people here for those jobs, we have companies making a ton training loads of them. It's because it's cheaper - and less protection - to hire abroad for those jobs that aren't location dependent or don't need to be in the UK. We literally have British companies that will pay young people to train as deckies and marine engineers, but many in the field has been shouting for years about issues with the conditions, the fire and rehire practices, and that attempts to legally protect them means Western Europeans including Brits aren't being hired, most young people doing these cadetships advertised as being paid to get qualified go onto ships with no other Brits, doing 6-12+ weeks of 12 hours every day, for maybe £800 a month and a promise of a job at the end that most never see because companies are only doing the cadetships for the cheaper labour and to pretend they're doing something altruistic to get the funding the UK government gives for this, while they get most of their labour elsewhere with fewer protections.
Childcare - I know young people trained in SEN childcare and SEN TAs, areas that have had severe shortages for years, but where is the funding? It's largely going to use these young people as cheap apprentices and then have them stuck on the books of multiple agencies on the hollow promise that maybe one day they can get a permanent position or they move onto other work. Some into delivery drivers since that's largely easy to get into gig work.
I don't think many young people can afford to move without work in the ways many of us did in the past, unless they know someone they can crash with in the mean time, but I know more than a few that have tried, moved for these schemes to train and put young people into trades and more that chews them up with the training funding they get and no job or job support at the end.
Blaming young people for that, claiming the higher unemployment rate for young people is down to them not wanting to do the work needs doing, is bullshit. Some, sure, but we've plenty of young people who've been sold promise after promise that if they work hard, if they go into these shortage fields, if they move to areas with more shortages, if they take the short term pain, they'll get the long term gain and it has failed many of them. The only ones gaining are the corporations using the young adults and the government who keeps putting the blame on young people while ignoring their role in the cause.