Asked to give up my seat on bus

It makes me wonder why good manners and consideration for others has changed so much in the past 50 years. I was always taught as a child (I know, yadda yadda yadda} to offer my seat to someone who obviously needs it.

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Being pregnant is not an illness!

No but sometimes it can make you feel ill!
Some ridiculous comments on here about people choosing to be pregnant and not entitled to a seat

Quite. Being pregnant can make you feel pretty grim but you have to keep on carrying on with the normal responsibilities of life. A caring society would go out of their way to make life a bit easier for anyone who is at a fragile time in their lives.

But we don't really have a caring society nowadays. Just people who don't see why they should care about other people. I sat here first so it's my seat.
Me, me, me. I see it in posts on here all the time.

God there are some nasty selfish people (women) on here. I’m going to remember this thread when the next 60 year old lady asks me to give them my seat on a bus and second guess whether I should!!

The OP says, On a packed London bus. A pregnant young woman has asked for my seat (only know that she is pregnant from her badge)

I hate that even women ask other women to move because they know women are more likely to move and that it is more intimidating to ask a man. She should have asked the young men on the bus not a woman in her sixties. YANBU

You are fine OP! I wasn’t offered a seat nor did I ask during my pregnancy. I just got the best tube/bus of I saw it was full. I never wore the bags either I always wonder what happens to if afterwards. Is it handed back to TFL? Recycled?

I'd definitely have given up my seat for the pregnant woman. Or, for that matter, to anyone who needed to ask - it's not an easy thing to do, to ask when you're in need.
I'm 79. I am always extremely grateful to the lovely people who (without me having to ask) give up their seats for me. Most usually happens on the Tube but also, tho' less often, on the bus.
I have aches for all of my years and don't so much sit down as fall or collapse into my seat. But I am not disabled and can manage standing quite easily if there is something to lean up against. Those most in need come first.

The problem is that any woman can easily get one of those badges so unless the bump is pretty obvious you can not be certain that she is indeed pregnant or just being a cheeky fucker.

I live on a local train route to the coast, about a 20 minute journey from nearest town. I use it regularly because I work in a shop on the seafront. It's fine most of the time, plenty of room for all, but during the school hols, full of teenagers off for a jolly at the seaside. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, they're having a great time.

It does mean the train is heaving during the holidays and seats are all taken up by teenagers basically. The train fills up at the first station and anyone else getting on hasn't a chance of a seat. And that's fine too. The kids got on first.
However, often there will be elderly people get on the train at subsequent stations and I'm always pretty annoyed to see nobody offer them a seat.
I've stood in the vestibule of the train with people who are obviously in their 70s, some even with walking sticks, or needing to grab a handhold to lean on - and in the 20 years I've been travelling I've never seen any young person offer their seat to someone who obviously needs it. I'm in my 60s and have offered my seat to someone older, or a couple of times to someone heavily pregnant.

It makes me wonder why good manners and consideration for others has changed so much in the past 50 years. I was always taught as a child (I know, yadda yadda yadda} to offer my seat to someone who obviously needs it.

Personally, I think youngsters are just oblivious to anyone too old to matter.

You needed your seat and she should have asked someone younger and fitter.
I would never have asked a woman for her seat when I was pregnant (nor a man) but I did stand right next to the youngest and fittest looking male on the bus if there was no seat available. Always got a seat that way. Eye contact helps too and maybe a pained look if necessary but that was only in the 3rd trimester which was plain to see.

No but sometimes it can make you feel ill!
Some ridiculous comments on here about people choosing to be pregnant and not entitled to a seat. The human race would die out if people didn’t have children.

You were unreasonable for not telling her you'd slipped on ice and couldn't get up easily. You were unreasonable for thinking because she isn't showing she didn't need a seat. I have horrible memories of feeling dizzy and faint in early pregnancy on the tube on no fuckers moving for me.

I suspect the OP is asking because she’s nice and was brought up in a different age and if she feels anything about not giving her seat up it’s guilt she’s feeling, not that she feels I reasonable.

Op, don’t feel guilty about what happened. You are the stage in life where you should be getting offered seats, not giving them up.

Being pregnant is not an illness!

Do some women wear a badge now when pregnant? Never heard of this.

Sorry I need the seat but I'm sure one of these younger ones would be kind enough.

Well of course the first off peak trains and buses will be packed. Maybe get one a bit later. On our line, you can pretty much always get a seat off peak but rush hours are very packed out.

Clearly you never had HG or you wouldn’t be so vile

A 60 year old is not old either !

I grew up in mainland Europe and pregnant women ,or those with babies or toddlers , disabled , elderly and young children always have priority , we even have check ups for those categories too .
Personally I would alway give up my seat to a pregnant person or any of the above

@Motnight you have an injury that she couldn't have seen. you were totally wtihin your right to suggest she approach someone younger.

FWIW when I was 8 months pregnant I was sitting on a bus when a woman got on with a large suitcase and said "I need you to get up so I can put my suitcase there"...

People get on buses and don't always look properly at the person they are asking!

Some of the comments on here are just harsh and rude! Im sure some of you just come on mumsnet to be nasty and sarcastic! What sad little lives you must lead. Its very easy to hide behind a keyboard, i doubt you would say these things face to face!

Maybe the pregnant woman feels that she is the unreasonable one asking someone in their sixties instead of all the other young people available

Off-peak can be busier than peak. The first train after 9am to London from where I live is always packed because it's significant cheaper than going before 9am. You get a similar thing after 11 when it's cheaper again.

And then they put 4 carriages on it instead of 8 or 12....

I'd have got ds to sit on my knee in that scenario. But he was quite small at 6, some children aren't.