Asked to give up my seat on bus

I find it depressing that someone only in her early 60s thinks herself old. The world is ageist enough without doing it to herself. Thank Goodness for people like Sara Cox.

but op is, if not elderly objectively, then still approaching it, has had a recent fall and didn't feel secure standing. I don't disagree that SOMEONE should have given pregnant woman a seat, just that it shouldn't be op.

And let’s not forget that the actual OP herself says that she normally stands for others. She clearly doesn’t normally consider herself in need of a priority seat, or any seat. But on this specific occasion she’d fallen on ice and was feeling uncharacteristically wobbly. It may well be that on a normal day she’d agree with you!

You’d have a point if OP was assuming that. IMO she wasn’t. She suggested that the woman ask them. They would be free to decline if they had a hidden disability. All OP was assuming was that the woman would have a decent chance with them, which would be a fair assumption I think.

YANU for saying no but YAU for assuming that the other younger people were "able bodied" when anyone of them could have hidden disabilities and need the seat.

Would never have expected to be given seat but needed one more when not visibly pregnant and very sick. Never needed it in late pregnancy.

@freakingscared I agree. I'm 62 and no way do I need to sit down. On the tube someone tried to give me their seat. I'd already walked many miles, and by the end of my day in London I'd walked 18.5 miles (2 miles to station, 14.5 in London and 2 miles home from station. Could well have been fitter than her. When I was in my 30s and had morning sickness all day a seat would have been welcome.

Since when did being, a little bit pregnant! Mean you need a priority seat?

As someone who has been not visibly pregnant before, I was still an able bodied human capable of standing and wouldn’t dream of asking someone for their seat just because there was a foetus the size of a grain of sand inside me.

Now someone who is heavily pregnant is a different story, but I was sturdy, going to the gym and living an active life when not visibly pregnant and someone who was a bit wobbly from a recent fall would have deserved the seat much more than me.

So I don’t really understand your point.

She’s okay to ask and you’re okay to say sorry I’m actually quite frail at the moment. But you do need to explain you need the seat.

I would have definitely given her my seat.

That's not rude. That's someone who had been put on the spot.

You weren’t unreasonable to keep the seat, but I probably would have added a brief explanation so that she didn’t think that nobody would give her a seat. Perhaps, I’m sorry I can’t, I fell recently and am not physically ok - please would you ask someone else.

She did say that - this is the OP's update, talking about age and who to ask.

I think that I said no I am in my early 60s, and could she ask one of the younger more able bodied passengers. Something along those lines. Definitely mentioned my age. Didn't say anything about my feeling a bit wobbly - I didn't want a conversation!

If she doesn't want a conversation, she should say sorry, I can't help, not give instructions.

Together with the not looking that pregnant comment here it feels rude.

Are you crazy or something ? Is is cultural ! I’ve lived in the uk for 25 years and some things are very different to mainland Europe . Stating a fact is not bad in any way . You are defending the way you think so why did you get offended ? It’s not news that most countries especially those in the south of Europe or Mediterranean are more family oriented and more oriented towards children . Exactly why do you get offended when it’s that ?

It must that culture you looked down on and acted superior with not many comments ago.

We should definitely all feel sorry for you now you spelt something incorrectly, and someone noticed . . .

A 60 year old woman is at that border between middle aged and old. Some are in better physical and mental shape than others. But in all of them, there is more significant bone and muscle loss than younger people. A fall is likely to injure them more severely and cost them more function than a younger person. OP was at high risk for another fall where a pregnant woman standing for the length of a bus ride is not at a health risk unless they're supposed to be home on bedrest. There were other people she could have asked. She thought the old lady would be a soft touch.

Elders are discounted and resented and shunted aside in many Western cultures. Look at how many here begrudge an older woman a seat on the bus. 🙄

Yes , off course I should apologise to you for speaking and writing 4 languages and having a keyboard often changing things . I suppose in your weird view anyone that doesn’t speak English to your standard ( god knows what that is given your bigotry ) must be dumb .

But she said none of that in her actual interaction with the woman. What she did relay wasnt rude in the least, plus she was clearly taken aback in the moment.

Pregnant isn't a priority of any kind.

Not giving up her seat is the only non-rude part here. The communication part is the problem - both there and here.

Here the comment about not being enough visibly pregnant was rude, suggesting the woman didn't really need the seat (when her blood pressure can be all over the place)

There, the lecturing her about her age and who should she ask instead. Just politely say, "sorry I need the seat"/"Sorry, I'm not safe to stand either", and done.

Or could just be a chancer wearing a pregnant badge. As OP said she could have asked the other able bodied people but id assume they were men. I remember standing numerous times on the 45 min tube commute, height of summer, very visibly pregnant and men would pretend the hadnt seen me, I used to stare as I knew they would look up, once I caught their eye, most would act "oh I didnt see you...." and kind of offered out of shame I think.

Not the point but why do so many people have trouble spelling losing and lose, correctly.

She saw you as the soft target and less likely to tell her to FO, unlike the younger ones might have done.