Asked to give up my seat on bus

I'm not being confrontational at all 😂 but you keep telling yourself whatever you need to 👍🏻.

OP made assumptions.

That's all. She's not unreasonable for not giving up her seat. She is for making assumptions.

I am not vilifying anyone. I am just stating that OP does not know that the other younger people on the bus don't have disabilities and she made assumptions of them that were able bodied yet didn't like that assumption made of her.

I'm not sure why you're not getting that. It's pretty straightforward 🙄

I had similar, though in my case I had difficulty standing because of a knee injury, and needed to be able to hold onto something. If I'd moved up I'd have been in a bad position for holding myself up. I explained I had a knee injury, still got a load of dirty looks and pointed comments. Maybe they'd have preferred it if my knee gave way and I fell over!

The potential conditions and health issues that can come with pregnancy aren't a choice though. I had severe sickness and nausea from the day I tested (it's why I tested a day or two really, I woke up feeling more nauseous than I'd ever felt in my life before that - and it got worse from there), I certainly didn't choose that!

Now I understand the confusion. What you were thinking of would be a right angle too, but not desirable, probably causing strain. Sorry for the confusion 😁

I do it every morning, once for each of my socks! Leg up, shock on, then turn the knee out 90 degrees three times. Rotating days for the bare foot and the socked foot as I find it easier on the bare foot.

My balance is atrocious unless I keep up stuff like this.

Standing in shop queues on one leg or pedalling your feet is also a good ankle
strengthener for fitting into a day easily.

Yay

@DoubleHardBastard "That is an assumption from OP that the other "younger" people are more able bodied."

Only in Mumsnetland would all the 20 or 30 year olds on a bus have some kind of disability and the woman in her 60's, who'd had a nasty, fall be vilified.

Oh, ok, thanks. Yes, I can do that. Go me!

OP you were not unreasonable. You needed a seat as well.

I remember a time I was on a train. I wasn't even seated, I was standing in the aisle, leaning slightly against the side of a seat as I felt a bit lightheaded. When someone was shouting for people to move down I mumbled something about not feeling well and invited them to walk past me and I remember thinking they were judging me for not moving when I knew I didn't feel able to stand up without anything to hold onto or lean on.

Sometimes people can't see what's going on with someone else and you have to look out for yourself.

Yes, thigh straight out and bent at knee so that it forms a right angle.

Your other leg entirely straight out in front of you, is that what you mean @idontpostmuch?

We do these poses too, in class. As for right angle, I used to have my leg lower until the teacher said it had to be higher. I then immediately realised I found it easier than the way I'd been doing it.

What is a 1 minute squat @Cushylife ? I do the stand on one leg thing, @Idontpostmuch despite also being a bit wobbly (bony feet). But rather than your right angle (which I'm sure I couldn't do) I do various poses with the other leg, which a physio showed me. And it has definitely made a difference.

@Cushylife Thanks. Will discipline myself to keep doing it 😄

I do that one leg stand everyday when I brush my teeth - 30 secs either side and then a 1 min squat. It's made a big difference.

Interesting. Why do they fill up last? I would have thought everyone would want to be near the door for speedy exit. Hadn't realised buses filled from back. I never get buses. Walk or cycle. They should fill up last because they're priority seats, thereby leaving them for the needy, regardless of location. Did the OP state it was a priority seat? If so, then that's why the woman asked the OP rather than others, so why all the posts on how younger people should have given their seats? If it wasn't a priority seat she had a nerve asking for it.

Oh the dreaded balance exercises. Have you tried standing on one leg, lifting the other up at a right angle? We do it in Pilates and only 2 do it well enough to please the teacher. One is over 70 and the other is early 40s. I can do it perfectly at home if I wear shoes but in class we have to do it without shoes which is harder. I can hold it for 30 seconds without shoes but always have some wobbles. I always mean to practise daily at home, shoeless, but I keep it up for a few days and then lapse. Worth trying. Our teacher says it's about focusing on a point ahead and it does seem to help.

I read your post. I was responding specifically to the comment in bold, that age is a red herring.

Noone has any idea whether they would need to sit down on a bus. You can run a marathon quite well with rotator cuffs that would give you agony for days or weeks if the bus jerked sharply while you were holding on to a pole or strap. Rotator cuff problems are extremely common in older women.

With me it's my bladder. Since menopause. How wonderful if over 50 yrs women could have dedicated toilets and passkeys to access them. Yes, of course Jo has to work harder than before and of course she'll have friends with conditions. The fitter you are the earlier you'll notice a difference. I've never run so I won't see that. But there's a world of difference between athletics and everyday activities. People like Jo and Sara are inspirational and should help to offset ageism but less fit 60s people can mostly still stand on buses and can still carry on much as before.

I really admire Jo Whiley's fitness but she always stresses how hard she has to work for it - multiple personal trainer sessions etc and how she was becoming increasing feeble (her word) in her 50s. She's also talked about the death of friends her age from various conditions. She's battling the ageing process magnificently but the ageing process is happening. Personally, I've found balance is the thing that has deteriorated the most - and alarmingly quickly.

Also easier to get out in an emergency.

@ScribblingPixie Jo Whiley is 60 and has signed up for a half marathon in April. So yes, perhaps big difference between her and Sara, who did longer runs, but nowhere near needing to sit down on a bus.

I would expect that it’s substantially more than that. The OP said that she would normally offer her seat in these circumstances, but didn’t feel able to on this occasion. She hence clearly felt bad hence this thread. That suggests to me that she really did feel wobbly after her previous fall.