Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to give up my seat on bus

666 replies

Motnight · 05/01/2026 16:36

On a packed London bus. A pregnant young woman has asked for my seat (only know that she is pregnant from her badge).I've said no, can she ask one of the younger more able bodied people sitting opposite or behind me? There are at least 4 people that are in their 20s / 30s and look physically fit sitting down.

She looked very shocked but just said ok. I am in my early 60s. I fell on ice a few days ago and am feeling a bit more wobbly than usual. Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
MrsClatterbuck · 05/01/2026 16:48

If that had have been me I also would have had to refuse due to an injury leaving me unable to stand for long periods which I'm hoping is temporary

60andcounting · 05/01/2026 16:47

Do women wear badges to say they are pregnant ?

BogusBargins · 05/01/2026 16:47

Agree with PP. She asked you as you were in a priority seat, looked approachable and young enough at early 60s (compliment?) not to need it

Neither is unreasonable, you only knew she was pregnant visually due to the badge, she certainly wasn’t unreasonable to ask you to move if that’s what your asking.

ETA - apologies if you weren’t in a priority seat.

RippleTV · 05/01/2026 16:46

I think it took some bravery for her to ask, so in your shoes I'd have turned to one of the younger people and said I'm sorry I really cant stand, would you mind, rather than making her ask twice.

midsomermurderer · 05/01/2026 16:46

Motnight · 05/01/2026 16:44

@midsomermurderer can I ask why I should have moved?

I do feel guilty - never refused before and in fact always offer my seat on public transport to people who I see needs it more than me. But honestly I don't feel 100% physically.

Show quote history

You weren't feeling 100%? So what 80%? As opposed to someone who could be feeling really shitty from morning sickness, nausea, having to balance standing on a moving vehicle?

Original poster
Motnight · 05/01/2026 16:46

I was not sitting in a priority seat.

OP posts:
SausageRoll2020 · 05/01/2026 16:45

If you needed the seat you should have just said "No, I need the priority seat" instead of making comments about other passengers (who hay have had invisible disabilities). She certainly wasn't unreasonable to ask and if you needed the seat you weren't unreasonable to decline but a bit of politeness wouldn't have done any harm.

midsomermurderer · 05/01/2026 16:44

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/01/2026 16:41

No she shouldn’t, she needed the seat as she was wobbly after falling on the ice.

Show quote history

a few days ago and she mentioned her age first. Sounds more like entitlement to me. Priority seats are for those who actually need them, not those who just feel a bit wobbly.

I think it is telling the OP mentions that she wasnt visibly pregnant, as if she thinks then need isnt as great.

Original poster
Motnight · 05/01/2026 16:44

midsomermurderer · 05/01/2026 16:39

it takes a bit of bravery to ask, if you were in a priority seat you should have moved

@midsomermurderer can I ask why I should have moved?

I do feel guilty - never refused before and in fact always offer my seat on public transport to people who I see needs it more than me. But honestly I don't feel 100% physically.

OP posts:
Allseeingallknowing · 05/01/2026 16:43

OP I think you may think you were a bit unreasonable if you are asking us! Do you now wish you had given her your seat?

pambeesleyhalpert · 05/01/2026 16:43

midsomermurderer · 05/01/2026 16:39

it takes a bit of bravery to ask, if you were in a priority seat you should have moved

No she shouldn’t! She needs the seat as well…

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/01/2026 16:41

midsomermurderer · 05/01/2026 16:39

it takes a bit of bravery to ask, if you were in a priority seat you should have moved

No she shouldn’t, she needed the seat as she was wobbly after falling on the ice.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 05/01/2026 16:39

Honestly she probably just found you the least intimidating to ask or potentially you were the one who wasn't buried on your phone.

She asked and you answered. No one being unreasonable.

midsomermurderer · 05/01/2026 16:39

it takes a bit of bravery to ask, if you were in a priority seat you should have moved

Sirzy · 05/01/2026 16:38

She wasn’t unreasonable to ask. You weren’t unreasonable to say you can’t stand.

FuzzyWolf · 05/01/2026 16:38

Neither of you were BU. She was reasonable to ask and you were reasonable to decline on the grounds you also have a need for the priority seat. It’s possible all of those who you viewed as able bodied and physically fit also had a need and if so, they were there first so have the right to remain in the seat until such time as the get off.