Asked to give up my seat on bus

It's possible, especially given the speed of the change, that the character she showed when out in public before was the bluff/mask and she's actually tired of life and wants to sit back and drift towards checking out. I think that's not an uncommon feeling among people who are neurodiverse, that they are no longer prepared to do the sheer amount of work it takes to appear "normal" out in company. The "I'm 70" is something she feels she needs to repeat as a simple explanation to those who wouldn't understand, if she even understands this herself.

@DoubleHardBastard I agree with you. Nobody has to give up their seat but it seems overly entitled to assume other passengers should have less need of seats than her. If she'd been more forthcoming about the circumstances of her fall - how recent, how bad etc, what exactly is meant by wobbly, then I might feel differently. As it is we don't know enough. Also, was it a priority seat? If not, then she definitely didn't have to give it up. But telling the woman to ask someone else, instead of just saying sorry but no, is unnecessarily confrontational. I can say this without being accused of ageism because I'm same age as OP. In my 30s I had very bad nausea in early pregnancies, definitely far more challenging than later. Even then I wouldn't have tried to claim a seat. A couple of yrs ago I tripped on pavement and got a lump on forehead, bloody nose, black eye and two grazed knees. Only half mile from home, an easy walk, but if I'd had to get a bus home it wouldn't have prevented me standing if I had had to. When all's said and done, we don't know if one, both or neither of these women actually needed to sit down. It's considerate to give seats to those who appear to need them but these badges just seem to cause trouble.

Actually she didn’t.

‘Ask one of the younger, more able-bodied passengers’ could mean she thinks they’re all able-bodied because they’re younger, but equally could mean ask someone who is both younger and more able-bodied. It’s a pedantic distinction, but it’s one I’m only making because you think her making of assumptions is important. I don’t think it is.

I’ve had to look-up what these badges even are!
Im in total support of you OP.
Perhaps not every1 can read those badges 🫤🤷‍♀️
Im near 70 with osteoporosis & osteoarthritis so know exactly how you feel…my DM is still alive & says our(hers& mine) ‘problem’ is we haven’t gone very grey! Even the GP asks my age!??
Possible answer would be for transport services to produce Badges for other varieties of folk needing seats? Maybe mumsnet can get involved??☺️

My friend has gone from being upset about anyone calling her old - to hitting 69 and it feels like every reason for not doing stuff is that she’s 70…it’s almost as if she’s given up and aged overnight. Can’t do the garden, can’t go on holiday, no confidence, feels vulnerable. It’s a bit hard to adjust to her change in mindset - it’s happened so quickly. She tells me she’s 70 every time we speak, she had no health problems but the number seems to matter a lot.

I never thought my friend would change so quickly - she was so young in her head - full of enthusiasm and positivity and now she’s always using her age as an excuse for everything.

Sad. I have 2 sisters in 70s and they do everything

My friend has gone from being upset about anyone calling her old - to hitting 69 and it feels like every reason for not doing stuff is that she’s 70…it’s almost as if she’s given up and aged overnight. Can’t do the garden, can’t go on holiday, no confidence, feels vulnerable. It’s a bit hard to adjust to her change in mindset - it’s happened so quickly. She tells me she’s 70 every time we speak, she had no health problems but the number seems to matter a lot.

You're right to say pregnancy isn't always a choice, but ageing well isn't always a choice, either. There's luck involved. However, beyond a certain age many people see everything as being down to age, when you can get a lot of these things at any age. Yet there is one thing of which we have control - whether we are old inside our heads. If you feel more comfortable sitting after a fall, good and well, but we can all fall, and thinking of yourself as needing a seat just because you're in your 60s isn't very helpful.

You're right to say pregnancy isn't always a choice, but ageing well isn't always a choice, either. There's luck involved. However, beyond a certain age many people see everything as being down to age, when you can get a lot of these things at any age. Yet there is one thing of which we have control - whether we are old inside our heads. If you feel more comfortable sitting after a fall, good and well, but we can all fall, and thinking of yourself as needing a seat just because you're in your 60s isn't very helpful.

Pregnancy id not always a choice, choosing to age well is

I’ve had to look-up what these badges even are!
Im in total support of you OP.
Perhaps not every1 can read those badges 🫤🤷‍♀️
Im near 70 with osteoporosis & osteoarthritis so know exactly how you feel…my DM is still alive & says our(hers& mine) ‘problem’ is we haven’t gone very grey! Even the GP asks my age!??
Possible answer would be for transport services to produce Badges for other varieties of folk needing seats? Maybe mumsnet can get involved??☺️

On a packed London bus. A pregnant young woman has asked for my seat (only know that she is pregnant from her badge).I've said no, can she ask one of the younger more able bodied people sitting opposite or behind me? There are at least 4 people that are in their 20s / 30s and look physically fit sitting down.

She looked very shocked but just said ok. I am in my early 60s. I fell on ice a few days ago and am feeling a bit more wobbly than usual. Was I unreasonable?

Pregnancy id not always a choice, choosing to age well is

@DoubleHardBastard I agree with you. Nobody has to give up their seat but it seems overly entitled to assume other passengers should have less need of seats than her. If she'd been more forthcoming about the circumstances of her fall - how recent, how bad etc, what exactly is meant by wobbly, then I might feel differently. As it is we don't know enough. Also, was it a priority seat? If not, then she definitely didn't have to give it up. But telling the woman to ask someone else, instead of just saying sorry but no, is unnecessarily confrontational. I can say this without being accused of ageism because I'm same age as OP. In my 30s I had very bad nausea in early pregnancies, definitely far more challenging than later. Even then I wouldn't have tried to claim a seat. A couple of yrs ago I tripped on pavement and got a lump on forehead, bloody nose, black eye and two grazed knees. Only half mile from home, an easy walk, but if I'd had to get a bus home it wouldn't have prevented me standing if I had had to. When all's said and done, we don't know if one, both or neither of these women actually needed to sit down. It's considerate to give seats to those who appear to need them but these badges just seem to cause trouble.

Who wears a badge saying they are pregnant

Of course she did well. I've already said that but you may not have read my post properly. First of all we don't know that that's what she meant by wobbly. It might not have meant she was afraid of falling. Secondly, obviously we're all less fit in our 60s than 30s but in our 60s we're not at risk of injury with a jerky bus, outside of a freak occurrence. My DH and I always go upstairs on London buses and have no trouble holding on as we make our way downstairs as our stop approaches (and yes, I am aware that we are approaching the stop, not the other way round.) Having said that, I always hold on. Handrails etc are there for a reason. A sailing rule is 'one hand for you and one for the boat,' ie always hold on when moving around a lurching craft, and it's equally relevant on dry land. Then we have ski buses. The seats quickly fill and many of us stand, wearing cumbersome ski boots and clutching skis. Yet people of all ages stand and we have no trouble holding on.

I'm not being confrontational at all 😂 but you keep telling yourself whatever you need to 👍🏻.

OP made assumptions.

That's all. She's not unreasonable for not giving up her seat. She is for making assumptions.

a few days ago and she mentioned her age first. Sounds more like entitlement to me. Priority seats are for those who actually need them, not those who just feel a bit wobbly.

I think it is telling the OP mentions that she wasnt visibly pregnant, as if she thinks then need isnt as great.

I'm not being confrontational at all 😂 but you keep telling yourself whatever you need to 👍🏻.

OP made assumptions.

That's all. She's not unreasonable for not giving up her seat. She is for making assumptions.