Asked to give up my seat on bus

For the majority, it isn’t an illness.

I think we all understand that for some people, for various reasons inc. sickness, backache, etc. it’s a very difficult time.

Steady on. Why are you pitting older women against younger women?

She did not 'pick on' on OP , she asked for a seat. She should have asked the carriage at large but you have blown this way out of proportion. Younger women are not your enemy.

@Motnight did you explain why you didn't want to give up your seat?

Rather than 'no, can you ask someone else' I'd have said 'I'm really sorry but I've just had a fall and I'm not feeling too good. Would you mind asking someone else?'

I was on a train today and there were loads of young people in their twenties mainly men on the underground row and at least three people who looked to be late sixties early seventies standing. I would expect my kids to stand for them and young able adults

Did someone else give her a seat?

@Motnight tells us there were several other younger, apparently able-bodied passengers, NONE of whom offered their seat.

It's interesting that the pregnant woman picked on an older woman. Why didn't she ask one of the younger passengers??? Did she think an older woman would be a soft touch? Did she not expect her peers to help her? Why not? That is a very telling decision of the pregnant woman ...

They were the selfish ones, not the OP.

Sorry, I know you weren't. I was just responding to the pp who said pregnant women don't need a priority set.

As per my previous post, I think you were right to say no, and I hope she asked the carriage at large to give her a seat.

Do you know what she did after she asked you?

I think it’s a myth that people get offended when offered a seat. I’ve never seen it once in 25 years+ as an adult travelling in and around London (and expect other parts of the UK are similar).

Yanbu, neither of you were. I’ve been asked to move before, they weren’t unreasonable for asking me and I’m not unreasonable for saying no, I just say no I’m sorry type thing but don’t get into the why. It’s never been a problem.

Are you usually this unpleasant to middle-aged women? Would you say that to her face?

Hard though this might be to get your head around, this is a situation where neither party was being unreasonable. Pregnancy isn't a disability (but often can result in awful symptoms where you might need to sit down pronto) and nor is middle-age (but again you might be a lot more prone to pain, bad joints, dizziness etc than someone young enough to be your child). I'd be ashamed to have thought that someone in their 60's who was feeling and jarred from a recent fall didn't need a seat.

I think it's fairly likely that the young pregnant woman picked the seated person she felt least intimidated by/was most sure would give way for her. If I'd have been the OP I'd have helped the younger woman grow a pair and helped her ask (loudly) if anyone younger than you felt able to give a pregnant woman a seat.

I’ve seen young men doing it loads! And young women, and middle aged people of both sexes, and children, and everyone basically.

As long as they either do get up when asked, or if they do need the seat say “I’m afraid I have a hidden disability/ need this seat” then all is good, surely?

Nothing wrong with asking, nothing wrong with saying no if there’s a good reason.

Oh, I agree with you that OP shouldn’t have given up her seat, but that’s not due to her age; it’s due to the feeling wobbly. There will definitely have been people on the bus more able to give up their seat.

Also can people not get offended if people offer you a seat and you don't need/want it.

If you don't want it, either accept it anyway or decline nicely "oh its ok thank you, I am getting off at the next stop anyway".

Yes. London transport (I think) do badges saying.. baby on board
As a prompt to get seated people to offer their seat

I was standing on a fairly busy bus and witnessed a pregnant young woman( not visibly and no badge )ask a man who was 75ish for a priority seat, his equally elderly wife said but he’s not well!!! The man still got up and she still sat down . Another young man piped up with why didn’t just you ask me??? And went to give his non priority seat to elderly man . I think common sense should be that people in need of a seat try younger people first.

I had the complete oposite experience on the tube just before Christmas - I'm early 50s and for the first time I had younger people offering me a seat (which I declined except for the one person who really insisted). I'm beginning to worry that I look old and haggard...

I think that was totally fine.

When I was pregnant, I would always try to ask the more able bodied looking people but obviously you can’t always tell - so if they’d said “actually I need a seat too” that would have been fine.

Hopefully someone who was able to stand heard the exchange and got up (sorry if this has been clarified but I haven’t RTFT).

Once I accidentally asked a man in his (perhaps) early 60s as I was standing a bit behind him, and I was mortified when I saw his face properly - although he was happy to get up I felt really bad.

I would have got up instead if I’d heard this exchange - I’m late 40s.

Edit - I don’t think she was U either, but both sides of the exchange were fine on the assumption said politely.

No but the OP wasn't fit and healthy - even if that was a temporary condition it still counts. And no doubt there were people in their 20s and 30s on the bus who were fit and healthy.

Not if you also qualify for one, you've got there first.

But in any event the OP wasn't in a priority seat so the issue didn't arise. She needed a seat so she said she did. I am sure there were other people on the bus who were able to give a pregnant lady their seat.

There's zero need for disability/need top trumps. If two people need a seat, then the one who was there first keeps it and the second one gets one from someone who doesn't need it.

I sat in the guards van most nights on my train home on my bag. I was blooming huge, I didn’t ask for a seat and no one offered.

OP I think you probably should have explained why. Short and sweet., sorry I’m not very well myself

you come across as a horrible person...who gives you the right to dictate who's more worthy of a seat ...a 60+ lady or a non visible pregnant lady...take a day off from your self righteousness

60 is hardly ancient these days.

No reason why someone fit and healthy in their 60s shouldn’t give up their seat to someone who needs it more.