Asked to give up my seat on bus

Of course he's an exception 🙄

I don't believe you truly believe that the majority of 60+ people are out there running and hill walking on a weekly basis.

What’s all this pregnancy martyrdom about? For the majority of women, pregnancy is hard at some point at least, whether that’s nausea at the beginning, PGP, or something else. Nothing wrong with wearing a badge to let others know that you’re in the need of a seat. Just as I find nothing wrong with people wearing the universal ‘please offer me a seat’ badge if they are in the need for one for reasons that aren’t obvious.

You assume every middle aged woman must have experienced pregnancy? Some of us haven’t, for all sorts of reasons and it can be hurtful when people assume you know all about pregnancy just because of your age.

I’m 64, have no problems standing on buses, but would readily offer my seat to a visibly pregnant woman, or a non visibly pregnant woman who asked. But the OP needed the seat too and was not unreasonable.

If people who are able to stand see someone who is less able to do so, they should offer their seat. It should be the case that those in priority seats are those that actually need them, and signage is worded to the effect that you should cede the seat if necessary/possible.
Whilst absolutely, someone can and should ask if they need a seat, equally, those like the young man in this scenario shouldn't have to wait to be asked.

No you can’t tell by looking but I would think it is less likely that someone in their 20s/30s has health issues than someone in their 60s or older.

If you are able to give up a seat without any detriment to yourself, then do it. If you need a seat for whatever reason, you don’t have to justify it, or explain yourselves. Whilst pregnancy in the later stages is visible, other people’s ailments may not be. I am elderly myself but fit, so it’s a no brainer that I would offer up my seat, but I would feel no guilt at staying put if I needed it.

OP was not in a priority seat anyway, but even if she was, pregnancy does not trump anything else. There is a real issue on London buses with women with prams refusing to fold them down to allow wheelchair users on. Wheelchairs have legal priority but they very often cannot get on the bus. I got into a conversation with a young girl in a wheelchair at a bus stop recently who told me of the many instances she had with drivers refusing to let her on because they would not tell the pram owners to move. She had taken to wearing a camera on one route it was so bad, to prove to the bus operator it was happening. This issue was recently covered by local news in London, it’s a big issue. Drivers refuse to enforce the law, even though they know they should. Women can fold the pram down. Wheelchair users cannot get out of their chairs to do that.

Just because you have a child, born or temporarily residing in a stomach, doesn’t top other people’s needs, particularly if they are enshrined in law.

Of course it makes a significant difference. Nausea while standing on a bus is intensified because you're lurching around due to a higher center of gravity. Your body has to constantly adjust to the movement, and your higher center of gravity makes it harder to balance. This creates greater sensory conflict between what your inner ear feels and what your eyes perceive. For pregnant women, nausea is already heightened due to hormonal changes, and standing increases the discomfort by amplifying the motion's effect, making it worse compared to sitting, where the lower center of gravity offers more stability and reduces disorientation. If a person is prone to motion sickness and is also pregnant, it's even worse. It's basic biology.

Perhaps she did first. She chose a woman probably because she thought she’d understand.

Firstly — a badge? I’ve genuinely never heard of a pregnant woman wearing a badge, so that’s new to me.

Secondly, I don’t think the woman was being unreasonable — but equally, I don’t think you were either. The fact that you posted to ask for opinions says a lot. You’d clearly been thinking about it and just wanted some clarification.

From my perspective, there’s no negative feedback for you here.

I'm just talking about myself.
60s is my parents age
I can't imagine asking someone close to my parents age to get up
Not happening

I don’t think that people should stand in rush hour for elderly people. They have the choice not to travel then if they find it difficult

I suspect you'll feel differently if/when you start to have physical problems @Changename12 . You don't sound like the sort of person who'll want to be confined to their sofa, rather than inconvenience the person whose seat you might need.

For many older and/or less mobile people in London, public transport is their only option to get out and about. I strongly disagree with your stance that they should just stay home

Find this such a weird thread. Someone is allowed to ask a question or make a request, you’re allowed to say no (or yes, if you want).

it’s an odd thing to ruminate over and discuss at length afterwards.

Exactly. Haven’t rtft but so far there are a frustrating number of posters projecting their own experiences onto the OP. Eg it’s irrelevant people pushed past you when you were pregnant unless one of the people doing the pushing was actually this 60odd year old wobbly OP!

Like you op, I would be second guessing myself on this. You sound a lot like me, mature, usually give up your seat without even being asked and never usually taking one. A number of years ago I sustained a non visible but very painful and life altering injury and then started to take seats.
Have seen plenty of ladies with those badges, never known one ask for a seat and you weee right to decline and indicate the younger people.
she was chancing it with you as the one most likely- well done for sticking to your seat and not letting the guilt trip you from it

I think she was a bit cheeky choosing a 60yo lady to give up her seat if there were younger ones around.

Not sure why so many people are making up that you were sitting in a priority seat.

Yes that is my experience of the underground. People will stand for pregnant women, elderly and children. I think it is important to stand for children as they can get squashed when standing up. One of the reasons my husband always offers to stand is that he is tall and can always hang on to one of the grab things that comes down from the ceiling.

Wow race to the bottom, just stop.

No,I don’t think he is an exception. We are both in our early 70s. My husband still runs. Last summer we spent 2, 13 hour days hill walking and are currently planning the same for next summer. Most of our friends the same age are like this. Obviously we know that one day we simply won’t be able to do this but until that day we will make the most of it.
Yes we do stand, my husband more than me but we are at an age when people see us and offer to stand for us. We often refuse but people can be insistent. What we do find is that if we stand for someone, then someone immediately gets up and offers to stand for us.
I don’t think that people should stand in rush hour for elderly people. They have the choice not to travel then if they find it difficult.

In my view/experience, it takes more bravery to decline a request!

I’m not sure if it’s helpful, but I have never experienced anyone being signed out to request a seat on the underground. Only even a voice saying would someone please let me sit down and then a rush from several people offering theirs. Much better way to do it than single someone out to ask that individual. Why would you?.

And while I agree that there are many fit, well 60 yesr olds who are far from frail and elderly, you're more likely to have issues than someone in their 30s.

My mum had bad osteoporosis by her early 60s and quite bad balance, and couldn't have stood on a moving bus safely.

Yes my mum was really shocked when men pushed past me when I was trying to wheel a buggy onto the train on several occasions. It tends to be the commuter lines when that happens - people forget their manners when in a rush.

Well I mustn’t have been on your bus/ train cos Îm not far off retirement and I feel it’s often only me that notices and offers

I think some women don't show as much though. I wore a badge but when I was 7 months or so I forgot it once and a couple had to debate between them whether to I was pregnant or not/to offer me a seat (she eventually stood up). Also I know people who've offered only to find out they weren't pregnant... 🙈

Most people were nice if they noticed though.

I’ve found the same as @saraclara about men in their 20s and 30s being more willing to give up seats - at least to someone on crutches (me), or to people 75+ (not me!). It may be different for pregnancy.

Of course, they’re also the most likely (apart from under 12s) to just push past someone on crutches and take the last seat for themselves…