To have just realised something really obvious

I used to do this and then realised that if he comes to bed later than me the lights go straight on so .....

I put the mirror light on in the en-suite and leave the door open while I creep around the bedroom and trip over the cats etc then I use my phone torch to make my way downstairs. I don’t think DH would be too impressed with me putting the “big” light on! It would make things a lot easier and quicker. I love the nights he decamps to the spare room because of snoring etc. I can put as many lights as I want on then and shut the door.

He shouldn’t have to ask you to keep the light off. It’s obvious that you should.
Have your stuff ready so all you need to do it pick it up and go get showered and dressed in the bathroom. You don’t wake up your partner just because he never asked you not to. Very rude of you.

I have an early start one day a week. I put my clothes in the en suite the night before, get washed and dressed in there with still only my phone light and creep out as quietly as possible. No way I'd be turning at lights on that early.

DH gets up about half an hour before I need to most other days and never puts a light on unless I'm already awake and say it's fine to.

YABU.

Did he wake up when you put light on?

Loads of posts on here about husbands banging around wake people up when they have to leave early and general consensus is its a bit of a twat move.

Unless he uses an eye mask, I think that's quite selfish. I'd feel so annoyed about someone switching on the light when I'm asleep. Can't you get ready in another room and have the light on in there?

"I suddenly realised if I inconvenienced others it made my life much easier"

I think you’re fine, OP. I used to creep around and then I remembered that DH was able to sleep soundly through all of DCs night wakings for years.

I can turn the light on, watch TV, whatever - nothing stirs him, he just slumbers on.

I'm curious if your DH has any thoughts on the light!

But to answer your question... times we do something nice that no-one has asked for / actually cares about...

A lot of Christmas gift giving I would say!

People bringing random edibles back from their holiday and into the workplace. Noone wants Turkish Delight with their cup of tea.

Insisting on helping clear up after dinner at someone's house (and actually making it harder work because you don't know where anything goes etc).

Isn't that what phone torches are for? At least it was a lamp. Still, seems selfish.

Yeah i wouldnt do that, i just get my stuff ready the night before and out it in the spare room

I think DH has never asked you not to turn the light on, because it's a given that you don't disturb the person who gets up later. (It would be the other way round, that the later getter up would say "don't worry about disturbing me").

I agree with others that you should just get everything out the night before so you can grab it (or have it all out not in the bedroom) easily.

I don't know what other things you are thinking about, but if you do something that makes your life harder and you don't know if others care, the obvious thing to do is ask - start with DH "would you mind if I turned the light on in the morning, or would you prefer I got changed in the bathroom?"

I’d be so cross if DP did this to me, and I never do it to him! How mean.

Gawd I think it's unacceptable to put the bedroom light on if one of you is still asleep.

Just leave the room using phone light and put other lights on, surely?

I’d be fuming if my DH pit the big light on if I was asleep! When we used to work shifts we’d put our kit in the spare room and get ready in there. How inconsiderate.

My husband does the sneaking thing. He hunts around with his phone torch and every time I tell him to turn the bloody light on and not mind me… but he says he hates disturbing me. Lovely man, but I’m quite alright with waking up at the same time considering I don’t work 😂 Silly sausage.

He wakes at 7 though. When I was up at 6 for work and he wasn’t working I snuck around too 😂

Reminds me of a friend who always crept around in the dark till one night husband was away - she put the light on to go for a wee and the room was full of bedbugs! Brought in apparently on a new bed being in a van with contaminated beds - yikes!

Exactly, it goes without saying.

OP appears to have decided to make her life easier and nicer at the expense of someone else. Not really the positive vibe she's trying to claim....

I get up two hours before my DH; I wouldn’t dream of turning on the big light because he’d wake instantly and be grumpy all day

We’ve never asked each other not to put the light on if we’re up before the other, it’s just something neither of us would do.

If I have a very early start I put everything i need in the spare room the night before and get ready there so noone is disturbed

My DH is often up before me, he never turns the light on, I would find that really inconsiderate!

He just leaves his clothes in the spare room and gets dressed there so as not to disturb me. I do the same on the rare occasions I'm up and out before him, I don't find it tobe any great inconvenience.

If you sorted out your things the night before, you don’t have to creep around in the dark. Put your clothes & make-up in a safe spot in the bathroom, and you are good to go

Meh. We just use sleep masks. I hate faffing about in the dark like a criminal in my own home.