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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie to the kids' school?

186 replies

Bananasinpyjamass · 05/01/2026 08:37

My best friend is getting married in June, it is an overseas wedding.

I have two DC, age 6 and 8, and I would like to take them with us as I have no family that can look after them. The wedding is on a Wednesday, so I would need to pull the kids out of school Tues - Thurs to fly out and attend.

My plan was to write to the school and explain the circumstances, ask that we are granted permission to remove both kids for 3 days, however a friend who works in education has advised that we just lie and say the kids are sick, that the teachers won't care even if they find out we are lying.

I am worried about lying that the kids are sick then getting into big trouble when the kids inevitably return to school and talk about flying on a plane etc.

However I am also concerned that the school will decline my request to remove them for 3 days and we will end up being fined/going to court (I am not clear on the rules and process.)

Does anyone have any advice?

YABU = Don't lie, inform the school and pay whatever fine/penalty they put up
YANBU = Lie to the school and say they are sick, it will be fine

OP posts:
Shakirasma · 05/01/2026 08:44

Don't lie, just take them and tell the trruth.

I work I a school.office, parents lie to us all the time but their kids dob them in. It's pretty annoying and offensive tbh, that parents think we are stupid. We don't care about your holiday, but we do care that you dont value your relationship with us.

Seawolves · 05/01/2026 08:44

But it won't be just you lying, your children will have to lie too.

Be honest with school.

Whoneedsanamesuggestion · 05/01/2026 08:43

Just tell the school. There is no need to lie and the kids will give you away anyway when they both go off for the same days and come back talking about an amazing destination wedding!

Your friend is not being very sensible.

Icepop79 · 05/01/2026 08:43

You won’t get fined. Just tell the school the truth. I would always tell the school the real reason for taking the kids out of school - I never wanted my children to have to lie to their teachers or worry about being found out if they talked about where they’d been with their friends.

TheCurious0range · 05/01/2026 08:42

Request permission, we were granted permission to go to my brother's wedding abroad this year and one day just to go to my best friend's wedding in the UK last year which surprised me. Head said that we could show we had arranged our flights so he was missing the least amount of school to go (flew after school Friday and back Monday morning, wedding was on the Sunday). If they don't grant it, you've been honest and won't get fined for 3 days anyway. Don't teach your children to lie.

Octavia64 · 05/01/2026 08:42

Schools are very tightly controlled in what they are allowed to approve.

a friends wedding will not be approved.

it’s up to you whether to lie.

three days won’t make much difference either way

APatternGrammar · 05/01/2026 08:41

What’s the cost of flights and accommodation and the potential fine for the children versus paying someone to stay with them and take them to school those days?
I wouldn’t involve the children in a lie even to save money. I’d rather pay.

elliejjtiny · 05/01/2026 08:41

Don't lie. We took ds2 out to watch the grand prix at Silverstone. We were honest and we were glad we did as we met one of his teachers in town that weekend and youngest told her where ds2 was.

Justlostmybagel · 05/01/2026 08:40

They will definitely decline a request for a friend's wedding.

Lie, or tell them you're going and accept the fine, if there is one.

LittleBearPad · 05/01/2026 08:40

Just tell the school.
They won’t approve the absence but they also won’t fine you for three days.

DallazMajor · 05/01/2026 08:39

Everyone just lies.

but even if you didn’t you wouldn’t get fined for 3 days.