To lie to the kids' school?

I’d have to tell the truth purely based on the fact that I hammer into my kids how we don’t lie, so how can I then tell them to go into school saying they’ve been ill and mustn’t mention the wedding/holiday.

Yes they will. We got fined £120 for taking our daughter out of school for 1 day. It doesn't pay to be honest (100 percent attendance too) 😡

Teaching your children its OK to lie to get what you want is a massive error that stores up a heap of problems for the future. Such as when they want to lie to school themselves, or they lie to you and you make a hyprocrit of yourself when you discuss why its wrong. So whatever you do, don't do that.

Definitely don't put your children in the position of lying.

I work in a school office.
If you lie the kids will tell us and then it becomes a safeguarding thing. Paperwork. The Head has to discuss with you and write it up. It's a pita.
If you come in with a absence request we'd go oooh where are you going, oooh lovely, head wouldn't authorise it but would wish you lovely time and we'd ask you all about it when you got back. No fines by us but even if there were just see it as a holiday tax.
It's the vulnerable kids we are on the alert about. And if the attendance regs protect them a little then everyone else can jump through hoops.
But don't see it as a personal attack.

Tell them, don't tell your kids that lying is fine. The fine is for 10+ missed sessions in 10 weeks, Tue-Thurs is 6, so be careful for the 10 weeks before/after and you won't have a problem, if you do it's £80 per child I think. They can't approve this even if they want to, so tell them maybe to apologise in your message, but keep them in school for the rest of the year and all will be fine.

I wouldn't lie. The school can't authorise it anyway. You wont get a fine for 3 days.

Your children will tell their friends and then your known as "untrustworthy" for the rest of the time they are at the school.

Just tell them your children wont be in.

Ah the child who is "sick" who returns looking very healthy with a tan and telling everyone about the new Spanish words they learned whilst on holiday and what the plane was like

It will probably be unauthorised but apart from a potential fine nothing will happen. Your child won't be forced to wear a special hat of shame. Just be honest with the school, wedding abroad, request the days, they will probably be unauthorised, the school send you a letter with their decision. Your children just miss 3 days of school. Look up your school website and look at their policy and your local authority for their criteria.

I took my children out of school every year for 1 day because they always had an inset day on a Friday and I rolled it into a long weekend at Centerparcs. I also worked in the school. The teachers said officially we cannot condone any time off school, unofficially have a wonderful time and I wish I could do it.

I do understand that things like this very much depend on the school but the only person I have ever known personally to be fined was the person who lied to the school about what they were doing.

I've taken my children out of school for 2 weddings, one weekday wedding and another which was an overseas wedding. Each time I have spoken to the school explained what was going on filled out the form or whatever the procedure is and it's been absolutely fine.

Having spoken to my children's school they did say that it was very awkward when parents lie as the children inevitably tell them the truth anyway and it puts the teacher/school in a difficult position.

Just word it in a way that you are telling the school they won’t be there rather than asking permission. What’s the point in asking permission if you’re going to do it anyway. If your children’s attendance is otherwise good the school will not really care although by law they will not be allowed to officially authorise the absence.

Even if you lie I can guarantee at least one of them will tell the teacher “I’m going to aunty Jane’s wedding tomorrow”

Last year I took my kid out of school for a Friday and Monday to go to the Christmas markets in Germany. Was totally honest with school but got a really nasty letter back from the Head about attendance and the threat of the fine. My older kids had INSET so I was only taking one child out of school. The letter was totally over the top and pointed in tone. I could understand if they are regularly off or we were away for 10 days. If I do it again I would definitely lie. It's way less hassle.

Tell the truth.
If i've found out a persons lied about some I have a hard time believing anything they say thereafter.

Teacher here. OP children always end up telling us where they went. Parents still take their children away during term time and just pay the fine.

They will know theres no way your kids won't spill the beans at that age and you the then you just look foolish and untrustworthy.
It's three days just tell the truth.

I’ve always been honest, and still took them out !

As other pp have stated, she doesn't need to involve her children in lying. She can take them out and it will probably be unauthorised but isn't really a problem unless the children have a lot of other absence.

You won’t be fined for three days, only once it hits five days. Personally I’m not comfortable with lying either but the teachers have heard so many stories about Legoland/ holidays when kids return from being “ill” that they just roll their eyes and move on.

Is children's other parent around (didn't like to say their Dad as you could be Dad and it your friend getting married)?
If yes, could you go and other parent stay home with the children?
Or, for 1 extra day, I would make a mini holiday of it, going Saturday and coming back Thursday, or going Tuesday and coming back Sunday.

I would be honest, lieing is a bad example to set. Unless you are off 5 days in a year then they wont fine you. They are very unlikely to grant permission unless very specific circumstances. My daughters school authorised 2 days when we went to DH cousins wedding which was brought forward due to grooms mum not having long to live and my girls were flowergirls. It was originally scheduled for school holidays due to bride being a teacher.

You dont answer to the school, why would you be in big trouble with them?

You are being sensitive, just say the kids are unwell and enjoy your time away!

Don't lie. ( As an aside I'm a teacher and other kids always tell me so and so isn't ill but on holiday. I do absolutely nothing with the info, but it does make me laugh.)

Schools can and do change attendance codes - so illness is authorised this would be unauthorised (but under the threshold for a fine which is 10 sessions/5 days). Something like this 2 kids in the same family having exactly the same time off with the same symptoms would be a flag anyway

teachers by the way don’t do attendance there will be someone responsible (high schools it is a full time job) and data goes to LAs

I took my kids out of school for three days for a trip- we were honest about what we were doing and why and the teachers were all really supportive, although they were unable to approve the absence. They didn't fine as it was under the five days. It was so much better for everyone being honest, kids included.

I am a teacher and my head would authorise this for a pupil.

You actually think op can find someone she knows & trusts to stay with them for 2 whole days? She's already said there's no family to ask