To lie to the kids' school?

Don't lie.. just inform them of the situation that you are taking them..if you get a fine then so be it.. if its a one off .then you prob won't get a fine

You won't be fined for missing 3 days. Get an absence form from the office and just write destination wedding in the reason box.

Please see government guidance on unauthorised absences - schools have little control over authorised absences now and headteacher autonomy is minimal. It all goes through the local authority nowadays. May as well be honest about it and factor in costs for any potential fines but a few days should be okay. It will be marked as unauthorised but the authorisation would be changed to unauthorised if school found out you were lying anyway so nothing to be gained except you teaching your children to lie. Also Sod’s Law will mean one of you get sun burnt etc and England will be in the midst of the wettest June on record 😂 Enjoy your holiday with your children.

I'm a teacher. Don't lie as the kids usually tell us anyway. Just let he school know your plans and it will likely be an unauthorised absence, you won't get fined for 3 days. Enjoy the wedding!

its an invitation not a summons

Check the LA policy. Ours states if child had good attendance you can take them out for 10 sessions per school year with no consequences ( a session is half a day)

The kids are too young and will dob you in. Just tell them. Generally schools understand but can’t authorise. No employer checks if you had 3 days unauthorised absence age 8! You’re unlikely to be fined for under 5 days but depends on school.

I would not lie over a few days absence, especially as your children are so young. There's no need, just tell the school you are going and that's final. It's possible the education authority may try to fie you but unlikely for such a short absence and if it happened, you could appeal, explaining you had nobody to mind them and this was the wedding of someone close to you. The rigmarole would take so long it would hardly be worth their while.

Take the children out of school and enjoy the wedding.

I wouldn’t go to the wedding. It seems cheeky to get a cheap wedding whilst inconveniencing guests.

I work in education. Please don’t lie. The school likely won’t approve the absence but you can just go anyway and the absence is just marked as unauthorised. You won’t get fined for three days. You won’t believe how much of my time gets wasted chasing safeguarding concerns for kids whose parents call in sick for them and then disappear for a week or more and don’t answer welfare calls. Please just tell us you’re going on holiday. We won’t be able to approve it, but I won’t waste my time on missing from education protocols and social services referrals. Our borough really doesn’t fine anyway. It’s maddening. Even though I know they are probably on holiday, I can’t risk not reporting just in case it’s something more sinister.

We weren’t approved to go to a sisters wedding for one day so the chances of a friends wedding for three are slim in my experience but you won’t get fined for it. I think fines are 5 days or more?

This. Schools are absolutely fine about parents taking kids out of school who have good attendance otherwise. Holidays or a few days off are fine and nobody bats an eyelid. It won't count as an authorised absence but you will not be fined for it either. The local authority only starts issuing fines if the absence across the year has been excessive and disproportionate or the students have had many absences in the academic year already.

Most local authorities only start fining after a certain number of unauthorised absence days and these are a lot more than people think. Just tell the school the truth. It won't be authorised but it's also very unlikely you'll be fined either if your kids have good attendance otherwise.

Probably best to be honest, and just go!

I still find the whole idea of fining parents (and per child) over attendance insane. Parents shouldn't need to contort themselves like this.

Someone on here had a thread a few months ago where I think they had said their kid was sick, but on holiday, but when she gave the school her kids passport for something else she thinks they saw a stamp from the holiday and reported it to someone or other. I can't remember all the details but the overwhelming response on that thread was 'you shouldn't have lied'. Very little empathy for how parents are backed into a corner with their own children.

Why do people post on here asking if lying is fine? Of course lying isn't fine. What has happened to people's moral compass? Tell the truth and take the consequences.

"Those who are saying my friend is BU - she does not have kids and wanted a discounted mid-week, term-time destination wedding, I cannot fault her this."

Yes, you can fault her for this. What she wants is to minimise the cost of her wedding to HER, by passing the costs onto her GUESTS. Such as yourself.

To be blunt - an invitation is a request, not a command. And this request is so inconvenient to yourself, I'm surprised you're prepared to jump through so many hoops to accede to it.

I think because a lot of HTs aren’t in agreement with the fines, if you can give ‘plausible deniability’ some schools will absolutely turn a blind eye to kids inevitable sharing of their holidays.

Other schools are fully bought into the attendance ideology and would be more unimpressed (but likely to be unimpressed either way so 🤷‍♀️).

On balance, I would just call in sick for them.

I think it's worth asking. A wedding is quite often seen as a 'religious celebration' and they will quite often authorise.
Not sure given it's your friend rather than family. Can you say it's their god parent or something?

I don't think the parents think you are stupid.

Parents know, as @Buscobel put it that
Schools don’t have policies to annoy parents or make things difficult. They don’t set the targets for attendance. They’re just doing what they’ve been told they must do.

If the school doesn't have right to authorise perfectly valid family reasons for a few days, it just makes the whole explaining of reasons rather pointless.
Parents aren't trying to lie to you, parents are trying to lie to that abstract authority with their stupid box ticking exercise and, rightly or wrongly, assume that putting there "sick" will give them the least official bad points.

And, I don't blame them, while school attendance is important and regular absences might be a sign of a safeguarding problem, families taking their children out for a few active days aren't the reason, they are the hostages of unreasonable rules here.

I think it depends on the child and as I said earlier, while no one said anything I expect it was noted and comment on by staff.

One boy in my class went on holiday but mum rang it in as illness. Like your friend, he came back with an amazing tan. As with all children who have been off unwell the teacher said to them nice to see you back, I hope you are feeling better now and the boy replied in a robot voice I have been sick....before bursting into tears and telling us he had been on holiday but mum had told him he wasn't allowed to say.
Its not really fair if you choose to do this as a parent to then expect the child to continue the lie.

The friend BU is not the bride/groom but the one telling you to involve your children in a lie.

My friend took her daughter to Spain for a week and said she had chicken pox. She came back with a stunning tan and no one said anything 🤣 I highly doubt teachers care enough to start a confrontation about it. They just need a reason for their records. She’s a single mum and couldn’t afford the fine and the holiday I don’t blame her at all. The annoying thing is my kids are in school practically all the time, other kids are off sick for the slightest sniffle so whilst a weeks holiday would probably still see my kids attendance higher I’ll get fined. They need to have a re-think.

The 10 sessions is LA and school dependant still. All that changed was that anything 10 or over if not authorised will be fined and how the fines are set for the rolling 10 week period and further fines.
Our LA can and will fine for 1 day if the schools headteacher sets a period of unauthorised access below the 10 sessions and this is exceeded. For my child’s school this is 2 sessions but other schools in the area aren’t as strict (but equally there seems to be leeway for some parents and not others).

if she doesn't answer to the school, why lie?

I work in school, they won't mind your kids being away for a couple of days (as long as they aren't persistent absentees). Just tell them you are going to a wedding and you understand it will be unauthorised. It's only a couple of days so you will not be fined. Parents lie to us all the time, then the kids come in and tell us the truth! Lying is pointless!